Should I Say No To Myself?

[MCC]

Sigh... I have changed my hours from 7:30-5:30 to 8:15-5:15 to accommodate some Dr's appointments, and to reduce some stress at home.

No on was coming before 8:15, that is why I picked that time.
Only one family was coming after 5:30, once or twice a week, and I have made a deal with them that I will not start late fees until 5:31, and will allow them to pick up at 5:30 when needed.

This was two weeks ago.

I send out a new contract that had the new times on it, and also added that we got a cat.

Yesterday (day off) DCM of the 5:30 kids (two kids). sent an email that she was now needed me to sometimes accommodate an earlier drop off every once in a while b/c DCD travels a lot. She also commented that my new late fee policy ($1/min after 5:31) was too harsh for them. That one of the reasons they liked their old provider was b/c she was flexible with them when they needed it. Well, their old provider quit with no notice, so we really can't bring her into the conversation, can we?

Now I am torn. I had been struggling with changing my late pick up fee, b/c I had thought maybe it was too harsh, but I also value my time, and need to be done with my day at 5:30. I love this DCG, her and my DD are best buddies, and her new baby sister just started today, so if I lose them, I lose two kids.

Advice?

[Blackcat31]

Sigh... I have changed my hours from 7:30-5:30 to 8:15-5:15 to accommodate some Dr's appointments, and to reduce some stress at home.

No on was coming before 8:15, that is why I picked that time.
Only one family was coming after 5:30, once or twice a week, and I have made a deal with them that I will not start late fees until 5:31, and will allow them to pick up at 5:30 when needed.

This was two weeks ago.

I send out a new contract that had the new times on it, and also added that we got a cat.

Yesterday (day off) DCM of the 5:30 kids (two kids). sent an email that she was now needed me to sometimes accommodate an earlier drop off every once in a while b/c DCD travels a lot. She also commented that my new late fee policy ($1/min after 5:31) was too harsh for them. That one of the reasons they liked their old provider was b/c she was flexible with them when they needed it. Well, their old provider quit with no notice, so we really can't bring her into the conversation, can we?

Now I am torn. I had been struggling with changing my late pick up fee, b/c I had thought maybe it was too harsh, but I also value my time, and need to be done with my day at 5:30. I love this DCG, her and my DD are best buddies, and her new baby sister just started today, so if I lose them, I lose two kids.

Advice?

Um, that's the point of a late fee. Be harsh enough to curb a parent from doing it.

I don't want the money from late fees, I want the respect and consideration that I too have a family and don't want to work super long days. I don't want the actually money. I just want parents to be on time.

If they can't be then the consequence SHOULD be harsh so they understand that they are being rude and inconsiderate.

Bottom line though this comes down to money.

You either stand your ground because the time with your family is important or you cave because the money from this family is more important....kwim?

If I were in your shoes, I would not agree to change anything. This mom can figure it out...ask family friends etc...why is it the provider that they ask first to give up time?

I wouldn't change anything. You are already going above and beyond with this family and I bet this won't be the last time they will ask for more.

Are you willing to give MORE of you and your family for someone else's?

ONLY you can answer that.

[TheGoodLife]

It would depend on your financial situation. If it was me and I could afford to lose them, or if I had replacement families on the wait list, I would definitely stick to the hours I needed for my family. If they had a problem they could either figure it out or find a new provider. Harsh, but I am in this business first and foremost for my family- and although I will do what I can to help out my families I will not take away time from my own family!

[TheGoodLife]

Also, if you have agreed to the occasional 5:30 PU for them, then the late fees at 5:31 should not be an issue, since your original closing time was 5:30 from when they started. KWIM? I'd stick to what you described if you can afford it!

[TheGoodLife]

Also, if you have agreed to the occasional 5:30 PU for them, then the late fees at 5:31 should not be an issue, since your original closing time was 5:30 from when they started. KWIM? I'd stick to what you described if you can afford it!

[MCC]

Thank you all. I can afford to lose them, and I can replace them, I have a lot of people on a wait list.

I just have only been at this 15 months, and have termed 3 families, I am feeling like maybe I'm the one who needs to bend. But you all are right, they can figure it out. They have family local, so they should be able to work this out.

I also just really enjoy this little girl, and it's hard to fill toddler spots here, and I can not take anymore infants.

And yes, the 5:30 is the time I closed when we interviewed, so I'm not sure why it's a problem now.

[daycare]

a family did the same exact thing to me.

time got bumped up by me because the family was originally asking for a 715am drop off but in 3 months did not drop off one time before 8am. They were my first arrival. So we switch it up to 8am drop off, re-did contracts and a week later DCF tells me oh we need to drop off at 715 again. I agreed to this.

I will allow the 715am drop off with a full 24 hour advance notice. No notice, no early drop off. Well it's been about 4 months since all of this changed and only 1 time in this 4 months have they dropped off at 715am.

For the early drop off, maybe you could arrange something like that. I also would not back down on the late fee.

Just about every DC I know of has this rule

[MCC]

a family did the same exact thing to me.

time got bumped up by me because the family was originally asking for a 715am drop off but in 3 months did not drop off one time before 8am. They were my first arrival. So we switch it up to 8am drop off, re-did contracts and a week later DCF tells me oh we need to drop off at 715 again. I agreed to this.

I will allow the 715am drop off with a full 24 hour advance notice. No notice, no early drop off. Well it's been about 4 months since all of this changed and only 1 time in this 4 months have they dropped off at 715am.

For the early drop off, maybe you could arrange something like that. I also would not back down on the late fee.

Just about every DC I know of has this rule

Gah. What is with these people. I had a another family doing an early drop off with 24 hours notice, and it ended with me having a lot of frustration and resentment toward that family. I DO NOT want to get up before my child is awake for one child to be here.

They also dropped of new baby sister and said, "oh, she hasn't taken a bottle from anyone yet, only breast, have a nice day!" It's been a long day, and it's only noon.

[Margarete]

Thank you all. I can afford to lose them, and I can replace them, I have a lot of people on a wait list.

I just have only been at this 15 months, and have termed 3 families, I am feeling like maybe I'm the one who needs to bend. But you all are right, they can figure it out. They have family local, so they should be able to work this out.

I also just really enjoy this little girl, and it's hard to fill toddler spots here, and I can not take anymore infants.

And yes, the 5:30 is the time I closed when we interviewed, so I'm not sure why it's a problem now.

If they have family local it should be easy to get one of them to pick up at 5:30 on the occasional time they need to work later... then they won't have to rush back. If they need after 5:30 regularly it seems pretty clear that you don't want to do that... You are already staying open 15 minutes later for them with 5:15 as your 'close' time. It's not about the late fee's it's about being done at 5:30

[Shell]

Bottom line though this comes down to money.

You either stand your ground because the time with your family is important or you cave because the money from this family is more important....kwim?

[MCC]

Welp, It sounds like they're terming.

DCM and I had a heart to heart, she just kept saying how flexible they are and how that's their personality, and that's what they pride themselves on. How they don't anticipate being here after 5:30, but the late fee made them upset, and "riled up". They took the late fee personally, and even asked if I had changed it just for them.

I explained that it wasn't personal, I changed the late fee b/c of another family (who has been termed) who was continually taking advantage of the grace period. She relaxed (started crying) and seemed relieved. I'm not sure why she took this personally...but whatever.

After that, she agreed to sign the new contract. I went ahead and let her know that I am going to be changing my rate in Jan. I had told them this in the interview in Aug, so this wasn't a surprise. And I told them I was no longer offering 10 free vacation days, b/c, honestly, I'm going broke over it. That's when the arms crossed. She took the contract home, and said she needed to talk to hubby about it. She did not look happy as she was leaving.

This is the second time in the past month that I have stood my ground with a family, and the second time that they have termed over it. I'm feeling a little discouraged, and almost broken...

[Blackcat31]

This is the second time in the past month that I have stood my ground with a family, and the second time that they have termed over it. I'm feeling a little discouraged, and almost broken...

Oh hun, I most certainly wouldn't take that as a bad thing ^^^

Turn it around and what that says is as long as you do "special" families will stay.

That is NOT cool.

They should stay because they value and respect you.

When you tell families no that aren't used to being told no, they leave because they are so used to getting their way.

I'm sorry but I won't compromise my personal values, work ethic or morals for anyone.

You should be proud that you stood your ground and so what if they left..... you still taught them a valuable lesson....NOT everyone is going to cater to them.

Some people value respect and consideration MORE than they value a paycheck and in my opinion that is something you should be proud of.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[daycare]

Welp, It sounds like they're terming.

DCM and I had a heart to heart, she just kept saying how flexible they are and how that's their personality, and that's what they pride themselves on. How they don't anticipate being here after 5:30, but the late fee made them upset, and "riled up". They took the late fee personally, and even asked if I had changed it just for them.

I explained that it wasn't personal, I changed the late fee b/c of another family (who has been termed) who was continually taking advantage of the grace period. She relaxed (started crying) and seemed relieved. I'm not sure why she took this personally...but whatever.

After that, she agreed to sign the new contract. I went ahead and let her know that I am going to be changing my rate in Jan. I had told them this in the interview in Aug, so this wasn't a surprise. And I told them I was no longer offering 10 free vacation days, b/c, honestly, I'm going broke over it. That's when the arms crossed. She took the contract home, and said she needed to talk to hubby about it. She did not look happy as she was leaving.

This is the second time in the past month that I have stood my ground with a family, and the second time that they have termed over it. I'm feeling a little discouraged, and almost broken...

dont feel bad...you will never make everyone happy.

BUT I will say this. If you don't start off with enforcing rules from day 1, then they will act like 2year old child when you tell them that they have to follow the rules.

I had to learn this the hard way. So from now on, I follow my rules to the book 100% of the time. If it says _____________policy, then I enforce it no matter your reason why.

I will however, let them slide one time with a warring, but make them very aware that if it happens again, I will enforce the late fee and etc.

It sounds like this family just wanted to have things their way, well this ain't burger king. Gosh I hate that I know that saying......

You may have dodged a bullet, especially being that they are so new and really trying to negotiate your rules.

[MCC]

Thank you both. You are, as always, right. It is just hard to feel like I'm weeding so many people out.

Now that I've had a minute to think about it...I must share..

During the conversation she said that my contract seems so inflexible....um.....

Thanks so much for the advice/support. I really hope they don't term, but I hope they do understand me contract is not up for negotiations.

[daycare]

it is hard to NOT want to be a little more flexible at times so that you can keep that family there. But in the end you will resent them and anger yourself for continuing to make all these exceptions. I used to be notorious for doing that.

Once I stopped thanks to the help of BC I found myself much happier doing DC and much better at explaining all of my daycare policies.