Sooo Mad At DCM....Should I Confront Her?!

[Christina72684]

I own a daycare (0-3yr olds) and a preschool (3ys+). When a child is fully potty trained, 3 years old (that's flexible), can sit down and listen somewhat, can speak clearly, can follow basic rules, etc then they move up to the preschool. A DC girl will be 3 at the end of the month, she's been potty trained for a while, and I can somewhat understand her. But, she doesn't listen when told to do something, refuses to do things and talks back, hits, kicks, etc and I think is not ready to move up. Plus, her mom owes some tuition but because our numbers are low and she pays some money each week so I have been flexible and allowed her to stay.

Well the DCM has been talking to one of my workers in the morning at drop off and has been talking smack about me and the daycare, according to my worker. She hasn't said anything to me, and I think I believe my worker but you never know. Anyway, first she told my worker that she doesn't think she should have to pay a co-pay because she gets 4C/CCDF/gov funding/whatever your state calls it, and she thinks that should be enough. Now she supposedly told my worker that she doesn't think it's fair that my daughter has been spending time at the preschool and her daughter hasn't. My daughter is 2 years 8 months old and really smart. She can sit and listen, follows directions, doesn't hit or talk back, and really fits in good at the preschool. Also, I live upstairs of the preschool so when my husband brings her down before he goes to work sometimes it's just easier to leave her with me instead of taking her next door to the daycare.

But no matter what, it's MY daycare and preschool so whatever I decide to do with MY daughter shouldn't matter. Am I right or not? And if my daughter is ready and hers isn't then that's just how it is. Her daughter isn't 3 yet either. So should I ask the mom if she said this or just let it go? Would you be upset if a mom said this about you and your child?

[blandino]

I have faced my own issues with "moving up" a child when another child at the daycare was the same age, and not ready to move up.

If I were you I would clearly and cal my sit down with the mother, and provider her with a list of requirements that are required for the child to meet before moving to the preschool. Discuss which ones her child hasn't met. I also always emphasize that they must be able to sit, follow directions, and participate without disturbing the other children.

This is the letter I pass out when a child reaches that age:

Dear parent,

We are always looking ahead to the next few months and planning accordingly in order to provide the best possible care for your child. Based on your child's progress, age, and abilities, we expect that _______________________ will be prepared to leave the infant/toddler room and join the preschool room on ____________________. This may seem like advance notice, but we want to keep you in the loop as much as possible. We' excited to share this important event with you !

Children usually make the transition anywhere from 18-22 months, the following are the criteria we use to evaluate a child's readiness to move up to the preschool classroom:

be on a consistent afternoon nap schedule.
have the ability to follow simple directions.
have the attention span to sit and focus for small increments of time.
be able to participate in a group activity without distracting their other classmates.
be able to sleep on a mat at nap time; and remain quietly on their mat even when awake. This seems daunting to most parents the, and is usually fairly easy for us to accomplish – don't worry.
fine and gross motor skills required to sit and stay seated at a table, without making an unreasonable mess.
need pacifiers and other comfort objects for nap time only.


The preschool class offers a variety of new and enhanced learning opportunities – but also adheres to a stricter schedule than the infant/toddler room. There is a learning curve when it comes to attention span and participating in group activities, which we fully anticipate and are ready to work with. We don't anticipate that a child just moving out of the toddler room will be able to focus as long as the older children – and we will slowly ease them into focusing their attention for longer periods of time.

We follow monthly learning themes, and adhere to a school year schedule -taking summers off to play outside and relax. We do all learning through interactive games and activities (no worksheets !) – and follow the direction of the children. If the children are feeling incredibly rambunctious or attendance is low that day, we may call a “play day”.

[nannyde]

The only thing I would be interested in this is to get the Mom caught up on her money. You are escalating her entitlement by making an exception for her. When people get something for free or near free it can warp their mindset to the point where they don't even CONSIDER what is given to them. Their focus becomes what they SHOULD get not what they DO get.

This Mom is telling you she can't manage the consideration you are giving. Stop doing that so she can settle down.

If you have offered your child as a playmate the Mom may feel entitled to have an opinion of her child's access to your child. It's a risky business mixing your child into the happiness of a daycare parent.

Don't discuss your child with her again. Just reiterate that you alone decide when the kids are promoted and you will give her.x weeks notice when you are ready.

Tell your helper to not ever discuss business with a parent. Teach her to nod her head and say ... it's best to talk to miss christina.

Don't get mad ...get your MONEY. Once you get your money and get the message you must have it on time each time she will settle down.

[misslori50]

GREAT ADVICE your worker should NEVER be discussing you with a Parent

[Annalee]

The only thing I would be interested in this is to get the Mom caught up on her money. You are escalating her entitlement by making an exception for her. When people get something for free or near free it can warp their mindset to the point where they don't even CONSIDER what is given to them. Their focus becomes what they SHOULD get not what they DO get.

This Mom is telling you she can't manage the consideration you are giving. Stop doing that so she can settle down.

If you have offered your child as a playmate the Mom may feel entitled to have an opinion of her child's access to your child. It's a risky business mixing your child into the happiness of a daycare parent.

Don't discuss your child with her again. Just reiterate that you alone decide when the kids are promoted and you will give her.x weeks notice when you are ready.

Tell your helper to not ever discuss business with a parent. Teach her to nod her head and say ... it's best to talk to miss christina.

Don't get mad ...get your MONEY. Once you get your money and get the message you must have it on time each time she will settle down.

[MarinaVanessa]

The only thing I would be interested in this is to get the Mom caught up on her money. You are escalating her entitlement by making an exception for her. When people get something for free or near free it can warp their mindset to the point where they don't even CONSIDER what is given to them. Their focus becomes what they SHOULD get not what they DO get.

This Mom is telling you she can't manage the consideration you are giving. Stop doing that so she can settle down.

If you have offered your child as a playmate the Mom may feel entitled to have an opinion of her child's access to your child. It's a risky business mixing your child into the happiness of a daycare parent.

Don't discuss your child with her again. Just reiterate that you alone decide when the kids are promoted and you will give her.x weeks notice when you are ready.

Tell your helper to not ever discuss business with a parent. Teach her to nod her head and say ... it's best to talk to miss christina.

Don't get mad ...get your MONEY. Once you get your money and get the message you must have it on time each time she will settle down.

[Sugar Magnolia]

I have no advice on this particular issue, but am very interested in your business model. I have a small center and am considering buying the house next door to it to start an infant center. Can I pm you some questions?