Nosey Damn Parents

[missnikki]

I've been following this thread for quite awhile now, and I must say, it is the PERFECT example of the varying opinions on this forum. This is why I come here all the time.

On the topic, my 2 cents-
I'm in the "If it's out, and it's within eyeball shot, it's fair game" crowd. I mindlessly read everything I see when I'm waiting...it's what I do. I'll read advertisements, posters, leaflets, old newspapers and magazines that have NOTHING of value to me, and I don't think I can help it- if I can see it, it's going to be looked at. To be clear- I would never open a book, file, drawer, cupboard, etc... without permission. In that parent's case, they were probably at a comfort level with Mac60 that they felt they knew you well enough to be friendly about your life, since you know a lot about them, I'm sure.

[mac60]

Actually, I don't know a lot about my parents....other than where they work, and an occassional family member that may pick up. I keep a fine line between business/friendship, and if this mom thinks she is at such a comfort level to read my schedule, then she is pretty bold....well actually she is at times., As for my parents, other than for dc, I do not associate with them ever. Do I consider some of my dc moms my friends, yes, but it a business friendship, not a friend friendship.....we don't hang, we don't go out to eat, I simply care for their children.

[Crystal]

Just curious.....why would your clients NOT know your schedule during the day? I mean, if you are transporting children and either all of the children are tagging along for the transport OR you are leaving them with another caregiver while you transport, your families SHOULD know and have every right to know. If it's not you transporting, I would think families still have the right to know who is coming and goin from your program throughout the day. And, if you don't want your clients reading it, WHY would it be on a door where they CAN read it. It's not like this is PERSONAL stuff, the schedule you are referring to has everything to do with your business. It just makes no sense to me.

[mac60]

I do not transport kids ever. It is no parents business when M and C get picked up on MWF and dropped back off. It is no parents business when H gets picked up on M/T and gets dropped back off. The schedule....purely for my use, purely for me to know when to expect parents coming and goings, was not in an area that is is readily viewed by parents, it was not at the entryway, it was in a different room of my home, where I have access to it to walk by and glance at it to make sure I don't forget that someone is leaving or returning. If the schedule was taped to/by the front door, it would be one thing, but it wasn't. Bottom line, the mom was rude and nosy to stand and read it, and even more so to comment on it. Like I said before, it could of easily been a schedule for my daughters work/school or my volunteer schedule, doesn't matter. Wasn't her business. It's all about respect, which I swear half the population doesn't know what that word means. And seriously, just why is the varying families schedules anyone else's business. It is not family 1 business to know family 2 schedule. I don't get that. It is personal stuff. My personal stuff that a nosy mom thought she had a right to read. Whether it is personl or business stuff, doesn't make it her business.....My business paperwork is not her business either....

[QualiTcare]

you can tell the ones who would cover up their tests with their arm in high school and then flip it over when they were finished......and who would slide theirs to edge for everyone to see and lean over for the person behind them.

that's what it reminds me off. MY PEEEERSONAL stuff! good lord, it's not results from an aids test or preperation h.

[mac60]

you can tell the ones who would cover up their tests with their arm in high school and then flip it over when they were finished......and who would slide theirs to edge for everyone to see and lean over for the person behind them.

that's what it reminds me off. MY PEEEERSONAL stuff! good lord, it's not results from an aids test or preperation h.

HUH? Makes no sense.

[Crystal]

She's saying that some of us are the type, that when we don't want someone to see something, we guard it closely and put it out of sight, leaving no possibility of prying eyes seeing it.

And, some of us are the type who will leave stuff out where people with prying eyes can see it, then whine about it when they do see it.

At least that's what I think she means.

[mac60]

She's saying that some of us are the type, that when we don't want someone to see something, we guard it closely and put it out of sight, leaving no possibility of prying eyes seeing it.

And, some of us are the type who will leave stuff out where people with prying eyes can see it, then whine about it when they do see it.

At least that's what I think she means.

Oh, that's nice.

[QualiTcare]

close, crystal, but not exactly. it does make sense what you said though.

what i really meant was some people are uptight and some people aren't.

for example, i always made good grades in high school so i never needed to cheat, but i wasn't one of those people that would cover their paper up incase someone was trying to. a lot of the smart kids would do that. if they wanted to risk getting in trouble - whatever - i was still getting an A. i was pretty laid back. i never got in trouble, but i did have a teacher one time pass my paper back, then pass the guy behind me his - and look at me and say, "don't do that again."

there was the rare case when i'd forget about a homework assignment and when i'd ask someone to help me out, they'd be like NOO! those would be the uptight people - the ones that cover their papers like it's a life or death situation if someone sees it - when in reality, it's not that big of a deal.

it just reminds me of that for some reason - i dunno why.

[Former Teacher]

This may get confusing but here are my opinions :

I see many different sides. I see on one hand from the providers side that yes it is your home with your belongings. On the parents side, their "belonging" is at this home all day. They want to know their surroundings etc. Does it give them a right to be rude and snoop? Of course not. However if I read something like "Crazy Schedule" and MY child was there, regardless of what I was told from the provider, I, too, would look since my "belongings" are in this environment as well.

Now if the provider was licensed then that might be a different case. A parent has access to ALL rooms that licensing permits. If a parent was in a room that WAS NOT then as a provider I would most definitely say something. However if it was, sorry, a parent has a right to be there. And if that parent has a right to be there, if you dont want something looked at, touched, tasted, whatever...then it shouldn't be there. Regardless of the providers stance "well this is my home first". In the eyes of licensing, the child (parent) comes first.

[DBug]

Wow, I really am surprised at most of the responses here. I would have predicted the general response would be the complete opposite! For all of our collective venting about parents not respecting policies, closing times, etc., most of us (it seems) aren't terribly worried about parents respecting our personal schedules/papers/documents? To me, it's exactly the same thing. I expect parents to respect the procedures I've put in place and I expect them not to go reading everything I've got in my personal space.

For those that do read everything they see, when you realize you're reading something you probably shouldn't, do you stop yourself? If you were at a doctor's office, and the doctor left his personal daybook open on the desk, would you read it while you waited? After all, he's about to examine you or your child -- you'd want to make sure everything was on the up and up, wouldn't you? That just seems to cross the line, in my mind. I think in Mac60's case, this mom should have clued in that if she had to lean over a gate to read the thing, then what she was reading was not meant for her eyes. I would be annoyed too!

I don't know, it's just with trying to run our daycares like a business, but then allowing parents access to every part of our lives -- it just seems contradictory. And at the same time, I'm worried that so many people feel so free to look in other people's business. Just my opinion, but I think I'd be as ticked off as Mac in this case ...

[momofboys]

Wow, I really am surprised at most of the responses here. I would have predicted the general response would be the complete opposite! For all of our collective venting about parents not respecting policies, closing times, etc., most of us (it seems) aren't terribly worried about parents respecting our personal schedules/papers/documents? To me, it's exactly the same thing. I expect parents to respect the procedures I've put in place and I expect them not to go reading everything I've got in my personal space.

For those that do read everything they see, when you realize you're reading something you probably shouldn't, do you stop yourself? If you were at a doctor's office, and the doctor left his personal daybook open on the desk, would you read it while you waited? After all, he's about to examine you or your child -- you'd want to make sure everything was on the up and up, wouldn't you? That just seems to cross the line, in my mind. I think in Mac60's case, this mom should have clued in that if she had to lean over a gate to read the thing, then what she was reading was not meant for her eyes. I would be annoyed too!

I don't know, it's just with trying to run our daycares like a business, but then allowing parents access to every part of our lives -- it just seems contradictory. And at the same time, I'm worried that so many people feel so free to look in other people's business. Just my opinion, but I think I'd be as ticked off as Mac in this case ...

ITA with you!!!

[missnikki]

I think there's the difference- "when you realize it, do you stop reading?" If I were at a doc's office and my eyes wandered to his daybook, yes, I would stop. A paper hanging at my dd's daycare might be a note, art project, activity, etc... I would look. If it were in the kitchen, I might assume it's a recipe, or craft. I would assume it involved my child. Even if it said "Crazy Schedule" because guess what-as a parent I hope there is a schedule of some type there, crazy or not. It might even take me a few lines to realize that it didn't involve my child. And at that point I might look up at you sheepishly (noticing the look on your face) and make a quick comment to try to save face.

But I'm only human.