How Much Should We Be Privy To?

[Josiegirl]

A little girl just started this week, she's a toddler, sweet thing and I know the parents told me she had a rough start(she's adopted). I mentioned to the dad at pick-up today that she is so good and she hardly ever fusses. She did today because she must've had a tummy ache but it was the only time she had fussed all week. Then I mentioned that even when someone had shut her finger in the play kitchen door, she never even made a sound. Dcd kind of made a worried look and mentioned they had thought maybe she doesn't feel pain so evidently this kind of thing has happened before. Honestly that was my first thought when I saw it happen; her finger had an indentation on it but she didn't make any fuss about it.
I asked during our initial interview if the little girl had any health issues and they told me she was behind on some large motor skills due to a rough start.
So I guess my question is should I approach them and talk about this further with them? Continue observing this little girl and watch closer for other signs? Ask if a doctor has evaluated her? They seem to be very involved with her care, open communicators, so would probably be happy to answer my questions but I also don't want to overstep my boundaries and appear nosy.

[Margarete]

I have a friend who adopted a little boy who was trained (most likely by violence) to 'not cry out', and to stay quiet. 6-12 months later this little boy seemed right on track for his age, including the occasional tantrum. It will most likely take her some time to feel safe. I don't know that you need to know much more, and often even the information adopted parents have is limited.

[cheerfuldom]

Is there really anything to be done at this point? Its either she has a really high tolerance for pain or some other issue related to her life before adoption. But I dont know that there is anything to be gained by bringing it up again. The parents are aware of the issue and thats all you can do.

[Maria2013]

If she was in my care, I would not discuss it further at this point!
I would give her space, I would make her feel loved and safe
...I already know she had a rough start, the last thing she needs is to start being evaluated from this stranger and that stranger ..just my opinion

[hope]

My DD has a sensory disorder and is in special ed due to that and a speech disorder. During recess one day she went down the slide and landed on her feet kind of awkward. The teachers said that she went to get up but was unable to. They took her to the school nurse who in turn called me to pick up. When I came to the school she was all smiles but still refused to put any weight on her leg. So I took her to the ER where we spent the next 4 hours trying to take x rays but couldn't figure out what or where the problem was. DD didn't speak much due to delays and when asked where her boo boo was it seemed as though she was guessing. Turned out she DID break her leg, and a pretty bad break! She just didn't feel it. Her sensory issues cause her to not feel sometimes. At other times a slight graze sends her wild. We now know that every fall needs to he inspected. Same may be true for the child you are watching.

[Sunchimes]

You don't mention her age, but a high tolerance for pain is one of the symptoms of Sensory Processing Disorder. If she is hyposensitive, she may seem like a "really easy kid", takes everything in her stride, little reaction to pain, and just seems to sort of float through the day without getting excited or upset. Rarely cries.

If she is under 3, I would offer them some info on the Early Intervention program in your county (if you feel like they would be receptive.) They can do an assessment to decide if it is just her personality to be quiet and laid back or if it is SPD. Treatment for hyposensitivity can make an enormous difference.

[Josiegirl]

Thank you everybody! I will do some research online about sensory disorders. I'm just curious and wondered if there was some kind of care I should be offering her that I'm not, or 'signs' I should be watchful for that I'm not usually. I assumed since they've already been through the adoption/fostering system that they must be well aware of any issue their child may have.
Sunchimes, what you described fits her to a T. The little girl is 19 months.

[Starburst]

It's possible she could have a rare medical condition where she doesn't feel any pain. If she does, she will need to be watched very carefully because they can't feel when they are sick, overheated, overfed, or injured (even broken bones).

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/health/2012/07/05/the-girl-who-cant-feel-pain/

[Starburst]

Oops, double post.

[Lyss]

I'd just keep an extra close eye on her and I would ask the parents if there is anything they'd like you to watch for. Personally I'd be a bit miffed that they were already concerned she didn't feel pain but didn't let you know. What if she got injured and you had no idea anything had happened? That could create a dangerous situation if she does have a rare disorder.

IMO its more likely a sensory or conditioning issue, epecially if she was dealing with an upset stomach causing her pain as you mentioned. From what I understand about the no pain disorder is its literally zero pain from anything. I've woked with prek kids from very abusive backgrounds and generally they were conditioned to not show pain or be assertive with any need for that matter.

Either way it sounds like this little girl is lucky to have you and the parents watching out for her now!

[Sunchimes]

I have a 19 mo old with SPD. The therapist is here twice a month and shows me exercises and things to do with him. In his case (and from my reading and research and long conversations with the therapist), his body doesn't have a sense of place and he needs things to stimulate his brain into recognizing sensory messages. I have some formal exercises, but in addition to them, I let him touch rice and play doh and pudding and whip cream. Rough surfaces, smooth. I also touch him a lot. Anytime he leans against me or is in my lap, I rub his shoulders. I hold his little hands and rub them. We play peek a boo with a soft blanket and a rough towel. I bounce him and jounce him and lift him up and down like he is jumping. I put different smells near him. We walk barefooted on carpet and on wood floors and in grass and in dirt. We splash in water. I give him a variety of food textures and temperatures. We touch sandpaper. I basically flood his little brain with sensory things. Talking, singing, music. Does she put everything in her mouth? It has made a world of difference to him. He is no longer just a little shadow drifting in a fog. He runs and laughs and he learned to climb on the slide alone yesterday!!! Early Intervention is the best use of government money I have ever found. My dcm wasn't thrilled about it, but I casually gave her the information, and she used it. I also recommend reading the Out of Sync Child. Lots of good information in there.

[Josiegirl]

I cornered dcm as she was dropping and running yesterday a.m. and asked her about the comment dcd said, about their worries about dcg not feeling pain. She looked at me like I had an extra nose on my face and said 'really? That's the first I've known about it'. Evidently she went home that night and asked her dh about it and he said he was joking.
Hmmm, maybe I have an odd sense of humor but I didn't get the punchline.
:confused:

[daycarediva]

My DD has a sensory disorder and is in special ed due to that and a speech disorder. During recess one day she went down the slide and landed on her feet kind of awkward. The teachers said that she went to get up but was unable to. They took her to the school nurse who in turn called me to pick up. When I came to the school she was all smiles but still refused to put any weight on her leg. So I took her to the ER where we spent the next 4 hours trying to take x rays but couldn't figure out what or where the problem was. DD didn't speak much due to delays and when asked where her boo boo was it seemed as though she was guessing. Turned out she DID break her leg, and a pretty bad break! She just didn't feel it. Her sensory issues cause her to not feel sometimes. At other times a slight graze sends her wild. We now know that every fall needs to he inspected. Same may be true for the child you are watching.

This is my ds. 8 stapes in the head, didn't flinch. Try brushing his hair the morning before that and he screamed like I was beating him.

If parents are already aware, I would just note to them the days/times where these incidents occur (especially if the child has this issue, to CYA) my ds sprained his wrist/got a hairline fracture falling outside and played all day and it was swollen 2x the normal size after nap at daycare one day and the provider (who was a saint) sent home a booboo card so I knew what happened, but always, always there were 'no tears'.