Almost 5 Yr Old Not Potty Trained Still!

[Lefse&Kids]

I've posted about this dkb before. In the beginning I was willing to work with him, and I did. Every method possible. He will be 5 in two weeks and still NOT potty trained AT ALL.

I understand some kids train late, mine even did. But my oldest is 3 1/2 and will do the wiggle dance and tell me he needs a potty break. This kid will stand and pee his pants wherever he is. He won't tell me, he won't try to hold it. He is in training cotton underwear which he will soak everytime.

We have 3 sets of clothing for accidents, which he goes through nearly everyday. I have potty break times, but he doesn't hold it to make to them. DCM won't tell me if he had a lot to drink in the morning so sometimes 1/2 hour into his day here, he wets himself and won't tell me (although it is very clear to see). He will even lie about peeing his pants.

But when he admits to it, he gets excited and happy like it was good.

Finally I couldn't take chasing after him while he pees and poops without progress, so I put him in a pullup diaper starting yesterday. I can't take it anymore, mentally. I haven't told mom this because she is convinced that him being in cotton trainies is helping (, NO its not).

I've watched him for over 6 months now, and zilch progress. I will be terming but here is another issue. With his birthday approaching, dcm invited my sons to attend. I was thinking of terming beginning of fall and just saying there is a change of age ratios I'm keeping at the daycare and must let some go. Would you term right away (before the party, maybe make an excuse to not go ?)and be honest or term later and be honest/stretch the truth ( I will be changing the ages I accept in the fall so its not a lie really).

I'm just so frustrated, dcb either doesn't understand at all, or something else. But I'm exhausted with it mentally. And with all the peeing/pooping keeping this place sanitary is exhausting (he's not the only one potty training).

[Crystal]

I WOULD tell Mom he will remain in pull-ups at your house. If she wants him in undies, she needs to do that on her own time. It is not your responsibility to train a 5 year old. I certainly wouldn't be cleaning up that mess day in and day out. Put it on Mom. I wouldn't be surprised if he is pull-ups at home, for her convenience and she expects YOU to deal with it.

This child MUST be evaluated by a medical professional. This is NOT normal and I suspect there is either an underlying medical issue OR Mom is being really lax with him.

I would tell her he has to have a medical eval before he can return.

[Brooksie]

I WOULD tell Mom he will remain in pull-ups at your house. If she wants him in undies, she needs to do that on her own time. It is not your responsibility to train a 5 year old. I certainly wouldn't be cleaning up that mess day in and day out. Put it on Mom. I wouldn't be surprised if he is pull-ups at home, for her convenience and she expects YOU to deal with it.

This child MUST be evaluated by a medical professional. This is NOT normal and I suspect there is either an underlying medical issue OR Mom is being really lax with him.

I would tell her he has to have a medical eval before he can return.

This Not making ANY progress at 5 years is not normal. I've never even heard of that. I wouldn't deal with it at all. Whats going to happen when he goes to Kindergarten? How embarrassing. Its going to start causing him self esteem issues in school. I'm shocked mom is so lax about it.

I would start training him the way you would a 2-3 year old. Ask him every 30 minutes to sit on the potty. EVERY 30 MINUTES. Not just at potty times. Because he clearly doesn't have that control. Get one of those little froggy toddler training pottys and make him sit on that in the corner of the room. I would NOT wait for him to pee or poop on my floor. And even with him sitting on the potty every 30 minutes I would STILL keep him in a pull up until he is accident free AT LEAST a week.

I also agrees he needs to see a doctor and get this checked out. Other than complete negligent parenting there has to be something going on.

[JoseyJo]

Personally, I would be honest with DCM and tell her what you just said. REQUIRE her to have him evaluated by a Dr. If Dr clears as no medical/mental issues set up a plan of action w/ mom. My plan would be:

DCB will be asked if he needs to go potty every hour

DCB will be required to "try" every 2 hours

DCB will change pullup himself and wipe himself down when wet, and will be told matter of factly that he is wet and that pee goes in the potty.

If DCB pees in toilet he will get LOTS of praise, high fives, special potty dance (we get the other kids involved too - everyone is excited when a potty trainer makes it to the potty dry!)

For sanitary reasons he will be in pullups/diapers at all times at DC until he is completely dry for 2 full weeks at DC.

I would write into the plan that if there is not good progress w/i 2 weeks that contract will be terminated. (I would explain verbally that DCB must be potty trained by K and if it cannot be accomplished here that it is not a good fit for his last year before K)

If he does end up having a medical/mental problem that is interfering w/ potty training I would REQUIRE DCM to get a diagnosis and course of action from the Dr. If I was able to accommodate the plan I would let dcm know we will follow it to a T and if there is no progress in 1 month then I will have to term as this must not be the right fit for DCB. If I was not able to accommodate the plan I would term w/ 2 week notice as I am not able to meet the needs to the child (if the plan doesnt include pullups until accident free, or that I must hold child on potty every 30 min, something like that)

Just my 2 cents!

[daycare]

I have had this child.....I did not change him at all. at 5 unless there is a medical issue he knows exactly what he is doing, has all of the skills to do change himself.

When I had this situation, I told the parents it is no longer appropriate for anyone to be touching your child down there, kid is 5.

I demanded that the child be seen by a doc and could not return without diagnosis. They refused to get it for me, so I termed.

the other reason that I termed was because the parents told me the child didn't need to go to the doctors, that the child suffered from genetic laziness. I almost pee my pants in laughter when they told me this..................and I am not joking, they really told me this as their excuse.....

[Lefse&Kids]

the other reason that I termed was because the parents told me the child didn't need to go to the doctors, that the child suffered from genetic laziness. I almost pee my pants in laughter when they told me this..................and I am not joking, they really told me this as their excuse.....

LOL,:-D

I can hear this dcm saying that. Dcb has done a genetics test done but from what I hear they don't test for everything, just common things.

in exhausted from trying for so long. He has a "test" for preschool which I know require all kids to be potty trained. Is it wrong I hope she lies to them so I don't have to term?:-) in all reality, I've tried every method I could find, and nothing has stuck. Dcb's last daycare termed them for the SAME issue, no progress. Dcm blamed it on pull-ups and that "they were mean to him" so he didn't want to train.

Well, he loves it here but guess what, still no progress!

[Willow]

This is actually a very common outcome of pushing a child too soon and/or too hard to train.

It's exactly why I outline in my policies that I refuse to "train" children who show no signs of readiness and will term if parents do anything but the same at home.


I'd have medical issues ruled out but otherwise put him back in diapers and not even utter a word about using the bathroom for a solid six months to hopefully inspire a reset in his head about the process.


No shame in terming if you can't or unwilling to do that.

[Willow]

This is actually a very common outcome of pushing a child too soon and/or too hard to train.

It's exactly why I outline in my policies that I refuse to "train" children who show no signs of readiness and will term if parents do anything but the same at home.


I'd have medical issues ruled out but otherwise put him back in diapers (I do NOT play the pullup game) and not even utter a word about using the bathroom for a solid six months to hopefully inspire a reset in his head about the process.


No shame in terming if you can't or are unwilling to do that.

[daycarediva]

If they aren't trained by 4, I require a medical diagnosis or developmental evaluation.

My autistic son was trained at 5. I just cannot imagine a parent finding this acceptable.

[cheerfuldom]

I would not take a 5 year old that was not potty trained. to be honest, I wouldnt take an untrained 4 year old either UNLESS they were in pullups and able to clean up after themselves. I dont allow the kids to be in undies until they are accident free for two weeks. I then require for naps only until again, they do two solid weeks of remaining dry thru naps. I really dont have time to figure out other peoples problems. i would insist on pull ups only. I would suggest mom get him evaluated but I wouldnt require it. as long as a kid cleans up after themselves, I really am too tired and too busy to care why they are or are not training. again, not my problem. put all this back on mom, immediately.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I've posted about this dkb before. In the beginning I was willing to work with him, and I did. Every method possible. He will be 5 in two weeks and still NOT potty trained AT ALL.

I understand some kids train late, mine even did. But my oldest is 3 1/2 and will do the wiggle dance and tell me he needs a potty break. This kid will stand and pee his pants wherever he is. He won't tell me, he won't try to hold it. He is in training cotton underwear which he will soak everytime.

We have 3 sets of clothing for accidents, which he goes through nearly everyday. I have potty break times, but he doesn't hold it to make to them. DCM won't tell me if he had a lot to drink in the morning so sometimes 1/2 hour into his day here, he wets himself and won't tell me (although it is very clear to see). He will even lie about peeing his pants.

But when he admits to it, he gets excited and happy like it was good.

Finally I couldn't take chasing after him while he pees and poops without progress, so I put him in a pullup diaper starting yesterday. I can't take it anymore, mentally. I haven't told mom this because she is convinced that him being in cotton trainies is helping (, NO its not).

I've watched him for over 6 months now, and zilch progress. I will be terming but here is another issue. With his birthday approaching, dcm invited my sons to attend. I was thinking of terming beginning of fall and just saying there is a change of age ratios I'm keeping at the daycare and must let some go. Would you term right away (before the party, maybe make an excuse to not go ?)and be honest or term later and be honest/stretch the truth ( I will be changing the ages I accept in the fall so its not a lie really).

I'm just so frustrated, dcb either doesn't understand at all, or something else. But I'm exhausted with it mentally. And with all the peeing/pooping keeping this place sanitary is exhausting (he's not the only one potty training).

Please print off this article and give it to Mom: http://mobile.slate.com/articles/lif...m.facebook.com

She needs to have him checked out by a Doctor. That is not normal.

[Lefse&Kids]

What a great article! I think I may mention to her. Thanks

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

What a great article! I think I may mention to her. Thanks

I linked to it recently on my business Facebook page. Several parents are going to have their children looked at (one is 4.5, one is 3.5, and one is 4.25).

[ABCDaycareMN]

I read this a couple months back and finally had it with my 6yo son wetting his bed almost every night for the past 3 months or so. Each week it was getting worse more wetting from the previous week.
I brought him in against my moms opinion and it turned out to be constipation. He was always a dry baby/kid at night and all of a sudden it was just getting out of hand.
When I took him in they tested his urine for uti and diabetes. But it turned out in te physical that the dr could feel all of the backed upness in my sons intestines.
He has been on miralax for 2 months now and the bed wetting stopped. There have been a couple accidents here and there but I take the blame on those. Forgetting a dose and eating/drinking too late before bed.

My son finally feels better about himself not wetting the bed.

[Candy]

I have never herd of this. Either he is being lazy or has a medical problem. Either way i would term since DCM doesn't seem to be worried. No one wants to be picking up on a 5 year old to change him. I'm still in shock that DCM doesn't think there is something wrong with this. What is she going to do when he goes to school in a couple of weeks.