How To Tell A Daycare Mom Nicely That Its Inappropriate To "Hang Out"?

[Unregistered]

I have a new mom who has put her 3 month old in drop in twice already to get the baby used to me before coming part time in 3 weeks. Near pick up the last 2 times baby has become fussy. I mentioned this in passing, like "oh he was just a little fussy", now mom suggests she stay for an hour at drop off and again for an hour at pick up ( during a 4.5 hour span) to help baby with the transition.

I want to say...the hanging out to help with transitioning isn't necessary, and also could be a hindrance for baby getting used to me if mom is here to help. The fussiness wasn't anything I wasn't expecting with a baby getting used to a new person and new routine. Also, I want to nicely tell her its inappropriate for the other daycare child to have her and her husband hangout for an extended period of time. It will disrupt the routine and honestly if I were the other parents I would not want 2 strange adults hanging around my kids for that long.

How should this be worded so as to tell her no, I will not do this and why it's inappropriate and unnecessary?

[Blackcat31]

Here are a couple threads about parents wanting to stay and observe/transition

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=50751&highlight=parents+observing

This one is particularly good with lots of differing viewpoints and comments

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=38525

HTH

[lflick]

Perhaps tell her that you appreciate her offer and commitment to making the transition as easy as possible; however, in your experience you find this in fact has the opposite outcome. Then add something along the lines of in order to provide the best care possible I cannot allow extended stays as it is disruptive to our routine. If she doesn't understand this then say for the safety of the others I am not allowed to allow this...

[Meeko]

I explain to parents that I need to gain their child's trust and affection. The child needs to learn to turn to ME for comfort.

That will not happen as long as Mom is there. Mom trumps everyone else, which is the way nature intended it....but life sometimes gets in the way.

The sooner I build a trusting, loving relationship with the child, the better. That happens quickest when Mom leaves ASAP!

[Starburst]

Here's an article about seperation anxiety. The tips at the bottom are straight to the point

http://preschoolers.about.com/od/learningeducation/ht/How-To-Manage-Preschool-Separation-Anxiety.htm

[MarinaVanessa]

Here's an article about seperation anxiety. The tips at the bottom are straight to the point

http://preschoolers.about.com/od/lea...on-Anxiety.htm

Thanks for the article. I have something very similar (but brief) in my policies and in a letter that I give to parents about First Day Fears so I'm glad that there's an article that says the same things (I took my info from books and trainings that I've taken). I saved it for the next time that I get a parent that likes to dawdle while their child wails.

I'm even going to give it to my DH because my DS is super attached to him (he helped with night feedings as an infant and they have a super cute, super tight, but super annoying-at-times bond) and DH is NOTORIOUS for trying to sneak out of the house so that he doesn't have to hear DS cry ... in which case my DS realizes that Daddy is gone and panics and in a great ball of horror and hysteria his little 2yo body falls to the floor in a pile of dismayed mush while he suffers in agony, misery and despair .

I keep trying to tell him that it's better to just say goodbye but it's me telling him and hey ... what do I know .

[daycare]

I like how worded this. !!!! I'm stealing it. Hahah

[daycare]

I like how worded this. !!!! I'm stealing it. Hahah

Oops that was directed at meeko