Screamer in the DC!!!

[coolconfidentme]

New DC 5 months old. Cries nonstop unless he is being held. Wakes up. Cries. Feed him; done. Cries. Swing. Cries. PNP. Cries & kicks. Hard. Hold him. Laughs. Parents say they are temporarily living with others & hold the baby a lot to keep him from crying & disturbing them. Seriously?!? I want to sCrEaM!!!

ps....crying now.

[jenn]

Sounds like my 7 month old DCK. Unless someone is directly in his face, he is hysterical. Even holding him only works if your attention is on him. Holding him while talking to another child=hysteria. Looking for a replacement child...

[coolconfidentme]

Sounds like my 7 month old DCK. Unless someone is directly in his face, he is hysterical. Even holding him only works if your attention is on him. Holding him while talking to another child=hysteria. Looking for a replacement child...

Yep..., he does that too. I don't understand parents who hold their kids all the time. The child seems very dependent & isn't really a happy baby.

[melilley]

I have one here too! I was about to term, but never went through it. He started at 6.5 months and is now 10 months and has gotten a little better, but in the beginning I was miserable EVERYDAY! Now he still cries, but not nearly as much. I also have a 21 month old child who can't talk yet so he screams a lot. Oh and also a 2 year old who also likes to scream when her friends do something she doesn't like, which is all the time-good thing she only comes 2 days a week! I have a headache daily.

[Lorna]

I wouldn't think twice about terminating a child that had to be held constantly. You can't get anything done plus what about the other children.

[MarinaVanessa]

Been there, done that. Sounds like you have a high needs baby.

Mine was here for 3.5 months (from 3 months until almost 7 months) and was my screamer. He was only here twice a week from 8am-12pm but MAN, did that one exhaust me. Finally at 6 months (when he became mobile) it helped and 2 weeks later DCM termed ::. It was temporary, which we both agreed to so I wasn't surprised but finally when I got to a point of DCB being not just tolerable but being pleasant, DCB leaves .

High maintenance/needs babies are rough and if that's what you have on your hands then expect that this might not go completely away even if the stop holding him at home. He'll need "training" for sure but more than likely it'll be a stressful road. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I mean it.

[Willow]

Could he have reflux?

I've had babies scream non stop like that get on meds and morph into angels.

[Heidi]

Could he have reflux?

I've had babies scream non stop like that get on meds and morph into angels.

me too...he's still here a year later.

In his case, it would seem like was going to spit up, kind of "burping", but then nothing came out. Seems he was swallowing it back down....which probably caused pain.

[preschoolteacher]

Any way that carrying him around in a baby sling/baby carrier is an option for you? I still carry my son around sometimes (at 11 months and 23 pounds), and it's slow going, but I can still load the dishwasher, throw in some laundry, and whatnot.

When he's sick, teething, cranky, or just needs Mom, it is the best way to give him some extra attention and still be productive.

I carried him A LOT when he was 5 months old.

[Leigh]

I just termed one of those kids. It didn't bother me so much as it did my other DCK's, my son, and my husband. They all HATED the screamer. I KNOW it was a milk allergy (previously diagnosed, pooh-poohed by current doctor). Symptoms started when child put back on milk. Parents suggested that child was just spoiled. I could SEE that the child was in PAIN. Talked to parents about a trip back to the doctor (they refused-and the visit was free to them-kid was on Medicaid). Had no choice but to term-they were not helping work on it at all.

[AmyKidsCo]

BTDT too. At 8 mos I suggested DCM stop holding him during his naps...

[MarinaVanessa]

BTDT too. At 8 mos I suggested DCM stop holding him during his naps...

Um yeah ... you'd think that would help ::.

[Lorna]

The longer I do daycare the more I see there are just alot of parents who don't think ahead to how what they are doing at daycare. There are also some really bad parents. But I still see that probably about 80% are good normal parents. So when I get a child that has been rocked to sleep for a nap, carried around all the time, constantly screaming because parents let them scream and then run to do what the child wants, etc. I give it a few weeks to let the child know how we do things at daycare. Sadly some children won't settle in and I would terminate them. Its a business. Treat it like a business. Its not fair to the other children when 1 child won't settle in. a child screaming all the time will unsettle you and all the other children.

[Leigh]

The longer I do daycare the more I see there are just alot of parents who don't think ahead to how what they are doing at daycare. There are also some really bad parents. But I still see that probably about 80% are good normal parents. So when I get a child that has been rocked to sleep for a nap, carried around all the time, constantly screaming because parents let them scream and then run to do what the child wants, etc. I give it a few weeks to let the child know how we do things at daycare. Sadly some children won't settle in and I would terminate them. Its a business. Treat it like a business. Its not fair to the other children when 1 child won't settle in. a child screaming all the time will unsettle you and all the other children.

My son was only in daycare from 2 months til 10 months. At home, I held him constantly. I rocked him every time he went down for a nap. My husband often held him ALL night long as baby slept. We have been told repeatedly in the last several years that it is not even possible to spoil a baby. I believe that. I believe that holding him so much allowed him to become the independent, well-mannered, smart and confident little toddler that he is now. A strong bond with parents is the basis for a secure child. I never let him cry it out, His daycare provider (whom I spoke with 3 weeks ago) always (and still) said that he was the easiest child she ever had. She did NOT rock him to sleep every nap, etc. She did what every other provider does, which is just the best she could.

I think that a lot of the screaming infants are getting mixed signals at home. One day Mom hold him all day, the next mom is working on the house, or working from home, or just wanting some alone time. Consistently meeting a child's needs from day one is what I believe makes a secure child.

That said, it's not YOUR job to do that, and a child that screams non-stop should be evaluated by a doctor. If there is no medical reason (that IS being addressed), I'd term a screamer within weeks.

[Willow]

My son was only in daycare from 2 months til 10 months. At home, I held him constantly. I rocked him every time he went down for a nap. My husband often held him ALL night long as baby slept. We have been told repeatedly in the last several years that it is not even possible to spoil a baby. I believe that. I believe that holding him so much allowed him to become the independent, well-mannered, smart and confident little toddler that he is now. A strong bond with parents is the basis for a secure child. I never let him cry it out, His daycare provider (whom I spoke with 3 weeks ago) always (and still) said that he was the easiest child she ever had. She did NOT rock him to sleep every nap, etc. She did what every other provider does, which is just the best she could.

I think that a lot of the screaming infants are getting mixed signals at home. One day Mom hold him all day, the next mom is working on the house, or working from home, or just wanting some alone time. Consistently meeting a child's needs from day one is what I believe makes a secure child.

That said, it's not YOUR job to do that, and a child that screams non-stop should be evaluated by a doctor. If there is no medical reason (that IS being addressed), I'd term a screamer within weeks.

I wasn't going to say anything but it irks me when people state things like your above.

Holding a child constantly does NOT produce healthy attachment.

In fact it quite usually produces children who are very unsure of the world around them and are prone to be fearful/anxiety ridden in general later on in life.

It is probably why as you described in another thread, your son couldn't stand you turning your back to him. How he couldn't stand to be separated from you.

That level of angst and anxiety is *not* healthy attachment.


It absolutely 100% *IS* important that parents and caregivers be consistent....meaning not just parents doing the same thing at home all the time and caregivers doing different things consistently at daycare all the time. All need to work together to offer a single consistent experience for the child or it will result in the separation anxiety you described as well as what others have shared in this thread.