Odd Request....

[daycare]

I am TRULY baffled by this group of parents who never want their child to be sad. The fact that these children are failing to develop coping skills when things do not go the way they would like them to at home is effecting them in every area of life and will continue to for the rest of their lives. It is maddening.

I have one child and the parent is as extreme as the one you listed above. Her child, one of many, has a ridiculously difficult time coping with the other children not obeying him. They don't and he is always whining, pouting, yelling, crying. The other children pay him no mind.

yup that is this child... The mom has called me on several occassions saying that her child cries at home that they don't have any friends here and I have to tell her well your child screams at them, bosses them around, and when they don't obey her she loses it. I can't force anyone to play with another, especially when they are acting like that. It is bothersome to me and to the children.

I just don't get it. I used to feel guilty having to drop my kids off at daycare and working all day, but that was my choice and I still parented my children.

It's like some of these parents think that they are doing a good thing by not being a parent and not being the bad guy, because they hardly get to see little JR......

UGH

[daycarediva]

I am TRULY baffled by this group of parents who never want their child to be sad. The fact that these children are failing to develop coping skills when things do not go the way they would like them to at home is effecting them in every area of life and will continue to for the rest of their lives. It is maddening.

It is doing a GREAT disservice to them, to the people that they encounter in the future and society in general. It is a SHAME.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

yup that is this child... The mom has called me on several occassions saying that her child cries at home that they don't have any friends here and I have to tell her well your child screams at them, bosses them around, and when they don't obey her she loses it. I can't force anyone to play with another, especially when they are acting like that. It is bothersome to me and to the children.

I just don't get it. I used to feel guilty having to drop my kids off at daycare and working all day, but that was my choice and I still parented my children.

It's like some of these parents think that they are doing a good thing by not being a parent and not being the bad guy, because they hardly get to see little JR......

UGH

I recently wrote home about us working hard at not making up stories to get our friends in trouble here, like I mentioned in another thread you posted in here. I completely understand how maddening it is dealing with a parent/child who insist that they have no friends and it must be an issue with you. :: The first time I heard it I said, "Oh, some days are just like that huh, DCK?"

[Laurel]

I decided that I will just help with a behavior plan which we can go over in a meeting....they are going to pay me for my time. BUT I still think that it will be a waste of time..

Just this morning DCG is dropped off and on Friday she was allowed to bring a movie. Her mom asks me if it is still ok and that she left it in the car. I say yes and DCM goes to get the movie. When she retruns DCG starts hitting mom, scream crying and yelling I wanted the dora movie not elmo. Mom starts saying how sorry she is awe poor baby. DCM says should I drive back home and get it. BTW they live 30min the otehr direction

I was shocked. I walk over and say, DCG we do not hit. Please apologize to your mother now. DCG does. I then say, would you like Elmo or no movie at all. She scream for the other one. I tell her, I am sorry, but this is not a reason to be screaming or crying. You are ok, you are not hurt. If you are sad you may be sad, but stop scream crying now. Meanwhile dcm is just looking at me with this look on her face like OH NO my poor baby.

I again say would you like to watch elmo later today or nothing at all, she says Dora. I say that is not a choice. which do you want Elmo or nothing at all. DCG finally calms and says Elmo. Great job, thank you for making a decision. Now say goodbye to mommy.

I point DCG in the classroom direction and mom looks at me and says, I can go back home and get it, I don't want her to be upset......

Yeah.....not going to work no matter what I do unless these parents are hit over the head with a reality stick.......

There must be some parenting classes in your area. I wonder if you could suggest that when she begs you for help.

Laurel

[Blackcat31]

Personally, I would never cross the boundaries of professional and personal.

It's just not something I would do.

I'd be more apt to do what Crystal said and work with them on a behavior plan.

Often times the techniques and methods used in group care are not as viable in the home setting coming from a parent. Also, a child's willingness to comply and behave in a certain manner in care is not the same as it would be at home.

I'd happily share methods, tips and tricks I use in my program with a parent but I'd warn them that one environment is NOT the same as the other so they can't expect the same results.

Not to mention the fact that if you did what they are asking and they didn't get it to work as smoothly as you do, then guess who gets blamed?

NOT an area I would want to go with a client.

Seems to me this has the potential to be trouble.

That's my 2 cents.