Would It Be Wrong?

[SilverSabre25]

I have 2 Cozy Coupes for 3 children (who want to use them; DD is too big and doesn't really care). You'd think that this would work (as we have lots of other things to do outside, too) but no. They fight over them. It's very annoying.

So DS's second bday is coming up on Monday, and I'm wondering...would it be wrong to buy a third Cozy Coupe that's distinctly different from the others to be HIS and the 4.25 yo and 5 yo boys dcbs can use the regular Cozy Coupes, so I can redirect DS over to his very OWN any time the issue arises (which is often)?

[Cradle2crayons]

I have 2 Cozy Coupes for 3 children (who want to use them; DD is too big and doesn't really care). You'd think that this would work (as we have lots of other things to do outside, too) but no. They fight over them. It's very annoying.

So DS's second bday is coming up on Monday, and I'm wondering...would it be wrong to buy a third Cozy Coupe that's distinctly different from the others to be HIS and the 4.25 yo and 5 yo boys dcbs can use the regular Cozy Coupes, so I can redirect DS over to his very OWN any time the issue arises (which is often)?

I don't think there is anything wrong with that. My kids have things that are NOT daycare things that they don't have to share.

[MissAnn]

I have 2 Cozy Coupes for 3 children (who want to use them; DD is too big and doesn't really care). You'd think that this would work (as we have lots of other things to do outside, too) but no. They fight over them. It's very annoying.

So DS's second bday is coming up on Monday, and I'm wondering...would it be wrong to buy a third Cozy Coupe that's distinctly different from the others to be HIS and the 4.25 yo and 5 yo boys dcbs can use the regular Cozy Coupes, so I can redirect DS over to his very OWN any time the issue arises (which is often)?

I wouldn't. I don't like the idea of making him be or feel privileged. What does that teach him?

[MyAngels]

No, my grandbaby has a whole set of toys that are hers, and hers alone and I don't feel badly about it at all ( the kids don't care either, they have plenty to do anyway).

[Rockgirl]

When my kids were little, they did have their own non-shared toys, but they couldn't bring them into the playroom and play with them in front of the other kids.

I'm not sure I'd get a cozy coupe that didn't have to be shared, but that's just me.

[jessrlee]

I totally would. The other two would have a car too so I don't see it as a big deal at all. Why does everything have to be so FAIR all of the time? I really think adults push the fair card way too far. My 3 daughters get to do and have a lot of things the daycare kids can't. It isn't lorded over them but it is a fact of life. If I have a kiddo actually question how fair it is (very rarely happens) I remind them that they get special toys/snacks/space etc. at home.

[MissAnn]

I totally would. The other two would have a car too so I don't see it as a big deal at all. Why does everything have to be so FAIR all of the time? I really think adults push the fair card way too far. My 3 daughters get to do and have a lot of things the daycare kids can't. It isn't lorded over them but it is a fact of life. If I have a kiddo actually question how fair it is (very rarely happens) I remind them that they get special toys/snacks/space etc. at home.

Providers son would have the new shiny and most coveted car putting him in a position of lording it over the other kids. Just not the position I would put my own kids in. I would just buy another car and it's for everyone. If I were a parent in this program, I would not be pleased either.

[Hunni Bee]

I would. Why not? Its his home. He deserves a little privilege. The other kids will be okay.

As a parent (of a dck), I wouldn't feel the least bit upset about it. I think its silly to assume that when you sign your kid up in a home daycare that they will have all the same privileges as the providers own children.

[Cradle2crayons]

I would. Why not? Its his home. He deserves a little privilege. The other kids will be okay.

As a parent (of a dck), I wouldn't feel the least bit upset about it. I think its silly to assume that when you sign your kid up in a home daycare that they will have all the same privileges as the providers own children.

This.

[mamac]

I wouldn't. I don't like the idea of making him be or feel privileged. What does that teach him?

Providers son would have the new shiny and most coveted car putting him in a position of lording it over the other kids. Just not the position I would put my own kids in. I would just buy another car and it's for everyone. If I were a parent in this program, I would not be pleased either.

I don't see why a parent would have a problem with a provider's son having a toy that isn't used for daycare children. Would that mean that all the son's toys have to be shared? Does he have to nap on the floor with the rest of the kids or can he sleep in his own bed? It's not like she's buying it for one particular dck. It's her son and it is his house after all. He should be allowed to have things of his own that the other kids don't have access to. I even do this with my own two children. When my youngest ds got to the age where he really started playing with his big brother's toys I told my older ds that he was allowed to keep his "special" toys away from his brother and not have to share. These were toys that were the most precious to him. I am all for teaching about sharing but no one should have to share everything.

The only concession I would make in this situation is that he cannot brag or tease the other children about it being "only his." And I, as the provider, would explain to the children about having items that are "special" to us all and that there are times when it really is okay to not have to share everything.

[TheGoodLife]

Before I had my DC, my oldest DD got a trike for her birthday. Now my 2nd DD got a similar one for her birthday a few months ago. These are kept outside in the backyard (where we have a TON of other outside toys). I don't feel bad explaining that these are my DD's "special bikes", especially since I have so many other riding toys. It is still their own. Now, I also teach my girls about being polite (not bragging, ect) and I would take them away if they ever held it over anyone's head or so forth.
Your home day care is still your HOME, so I think it's reasonable to expect some personal things to overlap with DC things

[daycarediva]

Before I had my DC, my oldest DD got a trike for her birthday. Now my 2nd DD got a similar one for her birthday a few months ago. These are kept outside in the backyard (where we have a TON of other outside toys). I don't feel bad explaining that these are my DD's "special bikes", especially since I have so many other riding toys. It is still their own. Now, I also teach my girls about being polite (not bragging, ect) and I would take them away if they ever held it over anyone's head or so forth.
Your home day care is still your HOME, so I think it's reasonable to expect some personal things to overlap with DC things

This. My ds's have bikes. Even the older dck's do not get to ride them.

I always ask them, "What do you have at home that is special and you don't have to share?"

My daycare parents understand that this is my children's home and they share enough things as it is, their Mom, their things, every other toy, etc.

One of my dcp's even reminded dcg when picking up the other day "Dcg that is X's bike. If you want to ride your bike, you can when we go home. Even Mason (older brother) can't ride your bike. It is just YOURS."

Not everything in life will be fair, equal, be shared, those lessons come easier now when it's just a bike.

[jessrlee]

Providers son would have the new shiny and most coveted car putting him in a position of lording it over the other kids. Just not the position I would put my own kids in. I would just buy another car and it's for everyone. If I were a parent in this program, I would not be pleased either.

Sorry I see it as "Providers son has a new toy for his birthday. You have a toy to play with too! happyface Let's all drive our cars to the moon!"

It is NONE of my daycare parents' business what toys my kids have and play with. I have never make a huge deal out of the fair thing so the daycare kids are perfectly happy with the toys I have available and the parents have never said a word. If they did, I would tell them to bring in Tommy's most precious specialest lightsaber and I would let 12 kids loose with it, maul it, treat it like crap since it isn't theirs, and then return the bits at closing. Their children have their special cool toys to play with whenever they are home. Mine get to have them too.

BTW- raise your kids NOT to tease or lord things over others. It will serve them well. Be matter of fact- "This is DS car. This is the daycare car. Where will you drive it? Yes, DS car is cool. Here is the daycare car. Where will you drive it? I understand you would like to play with DS car, Maybe you should put it on your B-day list. You MAY play with the daycare car. Where will you drive it?"

With my group a car is a car is a car. I get ALL of my toys from thrift and garage sales, 90% of the time they clamor over the old school 80's toys!

[lovemykidstoo]

I don't see any problem with it at all. My kids had scooters that were their own and the dck's didn't ride them. Was never an issue.

A fun thing for the dck's do to is take some sidewalk chalk and decorate the outside of the cozy coupes. That makes them even more fun! My kids love to do that. They also love taking a spray bottle with water and a towel and cleaning them too after. Cheap fun!

[sally]

I agree! My 2 dds have their own special toys that the dcks do not get to play with. Especially when they are brand new (birthdays, christmas...) but after a while when the newness wears off eventually they end up in the dc toy area and there are different new toys that are special to my kids. At some point every toy in the dc was one of my dds special toy.