NO More Nice Letters Please..........

[Sugar Magnolia]

Sigh.....
Keep doing your list with the boy.....gosh I would just leave mom out of it.
Unless he had a very awful day that MUST be addressed with mom, ".....everything was fine."
Yep. She's jealous he behaves better for you than her. Been there, done that. I had a mom JUST like this. I learned to not entertain her stories about home life, and the boy always got a "good review" at pickup.

[daycare]

Sigh.....
Keep doing your list with the boy.....gosh I would just leave mom out of it.
Unless he had a very awful day that MUST be addressed with mom, ".....everything was fine."
Yep. She's jealous he behaves better for you than her. Been there, done that. I had a mom JUST like this. I learned to not entertain her stories about home life, and the boy always got a "good review" at pickup.

it stinks that 10years into the biz you would have thought that I would have things down pretty good. THis biz always keeps me learning and keeps me on my toes.

Each family is different and I am learning that what works well with some would never work with others. It just stinks that this family never seems to get it, they just always want to blame daycare for everything.

I guess if there is nothing to report, there will be nothing or no one to blame....

[BABYLUVER21]

Message to parents

TO ALL THE PARENTS OUT THERE:

YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE GREAT elsewhere if they are pretty much good kids.

They will BE AWFUL for you.

There you have it. It is NORMAL as heck for kids to behave like perfect little Angels for everyone else BUT you!

I have several children. My children are a pain in MY butt. For everyone else that watches them: They think my kids are the most well-behaved, well-mannered children (say WHAT??!!! We sure you were watching my kids? I ask?). As frustrating as it is that they get bored with me and act out more, I am very blessed that they have sense enough to behave for others.

This means I'm doing SOMETHING right! (What a concept!) So I'd rather have them misbehave at home than out in public or in another person's care. So, I guess I win!!!!

I have talked to a counselor about this. The counselor has told me that the reason kids misbehave more at home is because it's where they're most comfortable in their surroundings. It's where they feel "safe" to lose control. They know that mom will love them no matter what.

And yes, I do spank my kids. I spank them when they are being blatantly disrespectful to me or doing something dangerous. They are no worse behaved because of it. They KNOW what is over the line and what is not. Sometimes, they just FEEL like being jerks for me though. It is what it is.

So before I'd ever blame the daycare for my kids being jerks at home, I'd rather take a long hard look at how PROUD I should be of them for behaving when it counts!

[Familycare71]

TO ALL THE PARENTS OUT THERE:

YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE GREAT elsewhere if they are pretty much good kids.

They will BE AWFUL for you.

There you have it. It is NORMAL as heck for kids to behave like perfect little Angels for everyone else BUT you!

I have several children. My children are a pain in MY butt. For everyone else that watches them: They think my kids are the most well-behaved, well-mannered children (say WHAT??!!! We sure you were watching my kids? I ask?). As frustrating as it is that they get bored with me and act out more, I am very blessed that they have sense enough to behave for others.

This means I'm doing SOMETHING right! (What a concept!) So I'd rather have them misbehave at home than out in public or in another person's care. So, I guess I win!!!!

I have talked to a counselor about this. The counselor has told me that the reason kids misbehave more at home is because it's where they're most comfortable in their surroundings. It's where they feel "safe" to lose control. They know that mom will love them no matter what.

And yes, I do spank my kids. I spank them when they are being blatantly disrespectful to me or doing something dangerous. They are no worse behaved because of it. They KNOW what is over the line and what is not. Sometimes, they just FEEL like being jerks for me though. It is what it is.

So before I'd ever blame the daycare for my kids being jerks at home, I'd rather take a long hard look at how PROUD I should be of them for behaving when it counts!

Amen!!!!

[MarinaVanessa]

Are you seeing ANY improvement with it? If so I would give it a go for a few weeks more. Except I would no longer give it to the parents. Just read it to the child at the end of the day before pick up.

I would be banging my head too. So frustrating.

I would continue to praise the child for his good behavior..continue to write down during the day what "good" things you observe him doing, maybe write it in a small dry erase board, and go over it with the child at the end of the day. It's obvious mom isn't wanting to see the notes of his good behavior, so don't give it to her.

I agree with the above. I'd even be inclined to continue with the positive reinforcement (while still immediately addressing any negative behavior and correcting it as it happens) and still have little daily "meetings" with the DCB to go over the good things that the child did and when DCM arrives at the end of the day tell her only the negative things and tell her that you have stopped praising him. Then see what happens. She will think you changed your tactic as she asked and if the behavior changes at home (whether negatively or positively) then you know it's total BS.

TO ALL THE PARENTS OUT THERE:

YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE GREAT elsewhere if they are pretty much good kids.

They will BE AWFUL for you.

There you have it. It is NORMAL as heck for kids to behave like perfect little Angels for everyone else BUT you!

This is literally a conversation that I have with ALL of my DCP's. They all think I'm crazy when I tell them that their children (all of them) are great here because they apparently behave like little hellions at home. I have to remind them that they will always behave differently for other people than they will at home with them.

One DCM came early one day to pick up 2yo DCB and we were just finishing up our meal. I announced to the DCB that his mommy was here and that he could get up now if he was finished. He stood up, picked up his trash and put it on his plate, picked up his plate and cup and put it on my counter, went back to his chair and pushed it in and then went over to his mom to hug her. She made this face . Apparently cleaning up after himself is a huge struggle at home. I reminded her that this was normal and pointed out that my own 2yo DS was at that moment crawling all over the couch, I asked him to stop and he of course ignored me. I asked her to ask him to stop and she did and he immediately said "okay", got off the couch and went to play with the toys. I said "See?". ::.