Frustrated! Seems Like So Many Things Have Gone Wrong!

[lflick]

So I have recently "officially" opened my doors... I have a DCB started yesterday, I know his parents, he is extremely spoiled... some may have read post from yesterday... he is non verbal... he does nothing but throw fits when he doesn't get his way.. IE slamming hand on the TV... trying to exchange his gross nook for my own 4 month olds.... all he does is lay around... unless he is hitting the tv... he shows no interest in free play, structured activities, or the toys for that matter. I have never had a child so "disconnected" from everything. Mom has admitted he watches too many cartoons at home and I told her screen time was almost non existent, with the exception of the occasional day I feel under the weather. She understood. She was also shocked when I told her at pick up yesterday he never used his bottle... I wasn't about to offer it... he tried to steal a swig of breastmilk from my sons bottle on a few occasions... GROSS... he literally does not seem to understand the word no... I have 5 boys of my own so I have seen a lot of everything but my boys have NEVER acted like this... I guess I am at a loss... I feel like he is constantly in time out as literally as soon as I let him up (if he even stays) he is right back at it! The constant behavior and tantrums stink! Did I mention he tried to bite me today on the toe when I told him no!

[preschoolteacher]

How old is he?

[littlemissmuffet]

This is the 18 monther, right? The one that the parents still treat like an infant?

I say just keep at it. It sometimes takes me as long as four weeks to get a child fully transitioned into my care and understanding that I am in control in my house and things are VERY different in my house than they are at home.

If after 4 weeks I am not seeing any major progress then I let the child go because it isn't fair to me or the other children I watch when one creates so much dysfunction.

[lflick]

18 Months. He's been crying and wondering for the past hour! Just because he couldn't have the baby's bottle!

[melilley]

I agree with pp, try to keep working with him at least for a little while. I too have a non verbal 20 mo. old who started here when he was 18 months old. He bit, pulled hair, screamed, cried, you name it he did it. Well I have been working with him and using his words and with the negative behavior. I have to say that I have seen an improvement in him from when he first started coming here. He still pulls hair and hits and occasionally will try to bite, but not as often. He even tries to say more and please. I started with those words because I found that he screams a lot when he wants more food or something and when he needs help with doing or getting something. I have been doing tons and tons and tons of redirecting also. I know my child is different from yours, but maybe when he throws fits and lays there, redirect him to a toy or activity, make him walk or help him. He will probably throw a fit, but just walk away and repeat. My dcb will throw a fit when I redirect him, but I just tell him that he may not do whatever he was doing and walk away. If he still is fitting, I do it again. Usually after the 2nd or 3rd time he will stop and then go play.
I honestly thought that I would have to dis-enroll this dcb for the safety of other , but he is so young and is getting a lot better and now I love him-he does give me a run for my money though!
Good Luck!

[itlw8]

so a non verbal 18 month that on the first day had to go cold turkey on the bottle ( no wonder he tried to steal the baby's bottle) and you put him in time out when he is too young to understand. no wonder he screamed a day.

give the bottle back for a few days but stick water in it except when in the high chair. you need to go slow adapting him.


stop the time outs under two is way to young for that.

He is hitting the tv trying to tell you he wants to watch it.... he is crying and trying to take the bottle because you won't give him his and he can't tell you he needs it.

[Cradle2crayons]

so a non verbal 18 month that on the first day had to go cold turkey on the bottle ( no wonder he tried to steal the baby's bottle) and you put him in time out when he is too young to understand. no wonder he screamed a day.

give the bottle back for a few days but stick water in it except when in the high chair. you need to go slow adapting him.


stop the time outs under two is way to young for that.

He is hitting the tv trying to tell you he wants to watch it.... he is crying and trying to take the bottle because you won't give him his and he can't tell you he needs it.

I agree..kids need a transition. Transition into care is harder for some and not others. There's nothing wrong IMHO to slowly removing the bottle. Pp is right, he can't communicate and he's frustrated. Screaming is just his way of trying to tell you how he feels.

[Angelsj]

So I have recently "officially" opened my doors... I have a DCB started yesterday, I know his parents, he is extremely spoiled... some may have read post from yesterday... he is non verbal... he does nothing but throw fits when he doesn't get his way.. IE slamming hand on the TV... trying to exchange his gross nook for my own 4 month olds.... all he does is lay around... unless he is hitting the tv... he shows no interest in free play, structured activities, or the toys for that matter. I have never had a child so "disconnected" from everything. Mom has admitted he watches too many cartoons at home and I told her screen time was almost non existent, with the exception of the occasional day I feel under the weather. She understood. She was also shocked when I told her at pick up yesterday he never used his bottle... I wasn't about to offer it... he tried to steal a swig of breastmilk from my sons bottle on a few occasions... GROSS... he literally does not seem to understand the word no... I have 5 boys of my own so I have seen a lot of everything but my boys have NEVER acted like this... I guess I am at a loss... I feel like he is constantly in time out as literally as soon as I let him up (if he even stays) he is right back at it! The constant behavior and tantrums stink! Did I mention he tried to bite me today on the toe when I told him no!

I am not trying to attack you, so please take this as intended. I think you may need to adjust your attitude and expectations for this child.
This behavior is quite normal for a non verbal, very young child. Timeouts are completely inappropriate, and you are refusing his source of comfort (the bottle), then punishing him for reacting in the only way he knows.

If you have taken a child development course or ten, you need to revisit expectations for an 18 month old child, then go for those gradually.

Yes, we need to be in charge, but these kids are people, with their own feelings, habits, and understanding of the world. To drop him into an unfamiliar world is difficult. To do so without any thought to his comfort or adjustment time, and then punish him for reacting in a normal toddler fashion is traumatic.

You also refer to him picking up a bottle or pacifier he has no way of knowing is not his as GROSS, and he is "spoiled." While he may be spoiled, you seem to have a negative attitude toward this little one all around. Please adjust that, for his sake, before he incorporates that into his own image of himself.