NEW Remember My By 4Yo DCB?

[crazydaycarelady]

He just told another dcb he was going to kill his kitty!!!!

What can a provider do with a kid like this? Dcm seems so complacent and really does not seem to see a problem here.

I feel like I just need to get dcb out of here with him remembering nothing but nice warm fuzzy feelings, out of fear that he'll come back here someday brandishing a weapon. Sorry if that is offensive. It's a legitimate fear with this kid. I've never seem anything like in in 22 years!

[daycarediva]

If Mom is not willing to bring him to a child psychologist ASAP I would term.

[crazydaycarelady]

He will only be coming here for 3 more weeks.

When I try and talk to him about it he gets the story all convoluted and says other dcb wanted to kill his own kitty. I feel like that might be a learned coping mechanism - get the facts all muddled and hope for a better outcome for himself. I make him sit in time-out until he can tell me why he is there. Dcm and I will be having another chat tonight.

[MarinaVanessa]

This really concerns me. I would be really apprehensive about what this child will do if not supervised at all times. Do not leave him unattended for any reason, if this is not doable then term immediately.

[Starburst]

Maybe if DCB is her only kid (or if everyone else in her family "jokes around" like that) she thinks he his joking. I would tell mom "When I hear a child talking about harming people or animals I take it very seriously".

I love animals, they are probably the only thing on earth more innocent then children IMHO (since their actions are usually based on instinct). I would seriously call some one to have that kid evaluated, either because this child is exhibiting violent behavior/ talk that is a risk to others or because mom is in denial and is not getting him the help he needs (I consider that neglect).

In this case I think either this mom needs a wake up call, because this is NOT normal at all!

Another thing to think about...

How do you react when DCB says things like this? Do you give him more attention than before? Is there any possible chance he says things like this for attention? Because sometimes kids do act weirder (putting themselves in danger or saying shocking things) when they realize they get more attention. How does mom react? Maybe his mom thinks it is for attention and that is why she is not trying to show concern, but sometimes when they don't get the attention they crave crank it up a notch until they get the attention they crave...

[JoseyJo]

Do not leave him unattended for any reason, if this is not doable then term immediately.

Totally agree!! Personally I would have termed a week ago, but if you are going to keep him, keep him TOTALLY supervised!! Who knows how much damage it is doing to the other kids to hear him and see him act like this

[crazydaycarelady]

Well, for example today we were all outside on the deck when he said the kitty thing. I immediately sent him inside to sit on the time out chair. Of course then I did come in and talk to him about it.

I talked to mom. She said she will talk to him. :/ My confidence is this solution is very low.

[MamaBearCanada]

I know you said only 3 more weeks, but as a mother if my child was around a child like this I would be sooooo upset. Please consider the reactions of the other parents if DCB does something to their child. From their point of view you have had all these warning signs and decided 3 weeks is worth the danger it puts their child in. It doesn't matter if you talk to him after an event it is not going to lessen the damage and upset it has already caused the other children.

Not trying to be harsh but I really feel for your sake and that of the other kids you should term. I know you said you are worried about retribution later, but what if he does something in the next 3 weeks?

[JoseyJo]

The more I think about this situation the more upset I get!

My dd (now 18 years old) went to Kindercare when she was about 4, just for a few months. She came home one day talking about how daddies love their daughters by locking them in a closet. I asked her where in the world would she get an idea like that and she said there was a little girl in daycare with her who told her all about how daddies love their daughters- then she goes on to tell me all about what this little girl told her. I told the daycare about it and they said they would take it from there. I never heard anything else, they wouldn't tell me who the child was so I could call CPS, I don't know if they did or not. I pulled my daughter immediately but how much damage did that do to her little brain??? She started having problems with depression as a pre-teen and has been in therapy since then. Did it have anything to do with that trauma when she was little? Maybe not, but sometimes I wonder.

I am truly not trying to be mean but I can't imagine purposely exposing any child (mine or ones I am paid to take care of) to what this child is doing! What would the other dck's parents think if you told them what their children have been exposed to each day? If they knew would they pull them?

[NeedaVaca]

I know that if my DCK's heard these types of thing your DCB is saying I would lose the families in a heartbeat. It wouldn't be worth the risk to keep him for 3 more weeks to me if I lost all my other families too.

[crazydaycarelady]

Yes, I agree with you ladies. Today another dcm told me that her 3yo son has told her that he does not want dcm to start bringing the baby here because Q "will get him."

Great! I will have to have another chat with dcm tonight. I am glad I have this line in my termination policy:

The provider reserves the right to give notice of immediate termination when there are extreme circumstances that affect the well being of the provider or other children in care.

[Blackcat31]

OMG! I LOVE the title to your thread!! :: ::

I am sort of "offended" by it, but I can probably live with it!

...Sorry, I couldn't resist

[countrymom]

you need to term asap. I had a kid like this here. He was 4 so he knew what he was doing. I always had a creepy feeling about this kid. He always had to know what I was doing, when, how down to the second. He would follow me around the house and then I found him spying on me. totally creepy.

well, my niece would come to visit and she was going to be 4, and another dcb who also was going to be 4. At first everything was fine. Then it was the way he started to play with the kids. At first it was fine, but then I had to intervine alot.

then it was meal times. also at first it was fine, but then when I wasn't looking he would try to stab the kids. And then he started whispering evil things in their ear. My niece never said anything

TILL.................my niece started having nightmares that dcb was coming to get her. the other dcb was saying that he didn't want to come anymore. I had no choice but to term.

I then found out that no one wanted to watch dcb (and siblings) because of the way he is, not even family members. Get rid of him or risk losing everyone.

oh, mom she was so clueless and she made excuses and would say "well its his age", "he's kidding" "hes a boy"....whatever!

[LaLa1923]

So what happened??

[crazydaycarelady]

Nothing yet - we are on Mountain time here.