New Craigslist Ad...Opinions?

[SilverSabre25]

Here is my newest CL ad, reflecting some of the changes I'm making to try and attract new/more clients. Let me know what you think, please!


Hi! Thank you for taking the time to read my ad. My in-home childcare has several openings for ages newborn and up! I have several openings during the week and one Saturday slot available immediately. Enroll and start by September 30th and receive special rates for the 2010-2011 school year! We are located in zip code ***xx, off of [road], between [other major road] and [parallel major road].

My name is SilverSabre25 and I have a Bachelor's Degree in Early Childhood Development and Education from [major area university]. I have a daughter who will be 3 in October and a husband who works a non-traditional schedule, so he is here to help us out every afternoon and all day on Thursday! Both my husband and I have completed and passed FBI and BCII background checks and I am Red Cross certified in First Aid and CPR/AED for Infants/Children/Adults. I am in the process of becoming registered with Action for Children. Ours is a non-smoking and drug/weapon/alcohol free home. We have a very friendly cat.

Our days are filled with playing, growing and learning! I use Funshine Buttercups as a curriculum, starting 10/4, and supplement with other activities as well. I provide all meals and snacks for children eating table food--my kitchen is allergy friendly (especially dairy and gluten) and I am capable of providing safe food for most food allergies or intolerances. I feed most natural/organic foods and all meals are very healthy--I serve much more than just "kid food!" Fruits and vegetables are offered with almost every meal and snack and sweet treats (like cookies, popsicles, etc) are limited to one per week or less. We play outside several times a day in the fenced back yard and fenced front yard. My home has a dedicated nap room where the children nap, a playroom on the main level, and another large playroom we use for large muscle movement when the weather is too bad to get outside. TV time is VERY limited--less than an hour/week for children who nap. Our curriculum covers letter and number recognition, letter sounds, counting and one-to-one correspondence, shapes and colors, crafts, music, science, stories, fine and gross motor skills, and manners.

Call or email me today to set up an interview so you can meet me and my family and tour my home! I can't wait to hear from you and welcome your child into our home!

SilverSabre25
(***)-***-***xx
[my email ] (without the spaces of course! This is to cut down on spam!)

[Abigail]

I read way to many CL ads and get annoyed when they all seem to start with "Thank you for taking the time to read my ad." If it was placed in a newspaper or flyer at the store, you wouldn't say that.

I like that you give your zip code, just like Child Care Resource and Referral does, but instead of naming streets could you put down a park, school, or shopping center you're near? This would be easier to remember than thinking of three different streets and it doesn't pin-point your location for safety reasons.

Do you introduce yourself as SilverSabre25? I would put your personal information first about your education and family before anything else or create categories or short paragraphs with titles like "Family Child Care" and "About our Family"

Your paragraph about your family and certifications seems to be long, I would create a bulleted list in order of what is the most important. Most parents also don't know what Funshine Buttercups is, so I think that is too detailed and really just gives other providers in your area heads up on the competition, especially on CL. Make sure to state is you're licensed.

I don't like to use my number on CL because you could get weird callers, unusual times, and you don't want to continually change your number. I would use your work/business email and ask they give you their number and the best time to be reached. I would never meet anyone unless I had a phone conversation and if they only email it would make me nervous.

[sahm1225]

I spend alot of time on CL and I found my old daycare provider on CL, so here is what I liked about her ad (and what I try to do when I place ads):

It was short & sweet. Basically said Contact me for great daycare program, we are flexible and affordable! Then she had a website link. Her website had pictures of her set up, an 'about me' section and a sample schedule.

I emailed her asking her about her programs she sent me an email very similar to what your ad says (detailing the day to day, the licensing/cpr/first aid, fenced yard, etc.). Her confidence in her ad (making it short when most of the other ads were super long!) made me want to check them out. Her follow up email (similar to how your ad is worded) impressed me and I practically ran to sign my son up, LOL!

Do you have a website? I would set up an 'about me' section where you explain about your education background. Then set up a 'menu/meals' section where you can have a statement about how you feel natural and organic is the best and how you strive to provide that for the children.

Here is my tip - try posting 2 ads - one the way you have this one, then do another one short & sweet. Then see which one gets more hits. Either way you win - Good luck

[Abigail]

Yup, like stated above, but put two different subject lines and have two different ways of contacting you so they don't know they're both you. LOL. Just don't overpost because it only takes a few minutes to stroll through the Child Care category and read everything from a week or even two weeks. Some people here post 3 or more times a week and I just want to spam them for no reason except they're annoying.

[SilverSabre25]

Thanks for the feedback.

I use my real name, not my username, in the CL ad--I just changed it for posting the ad here. There really aren't any parks or shopping centers nearby and these two major roads are pretty major thoroughfares--one's an interstate.

Thank you for the feedback about mentioning the curriculum and about the organization--I'll see what I can come up with instead.

No license needed in our state if you're watching fewer than 6 kids at a time.

I put in my phone number because it's what 95% of the other ads in the area have, and many of my interviews have come from people who just called and didn't email--it seems to be the standard here and I've never gotten a weird call, but I will keep your advice in mind if I do!

[SilverSabre25]

Yup, like stated above, but put two different subject lines and have two different ways of contacting you so they don't know they're both you. LOL. Just don't overpost because it only takes a few minutes to stroll through the Child Care category and read everything from a week or even two weeks. Some people here post 3 or more times a week and I just want to spam them for no reason except they're annoying.

Actually in our area, there are TONS of ads in the childcare section. I've been posting every two days (minimum allowable time between posts) because any less than that and your post is no likely to seen--there are 100+ postings in the past two days.

[kendallina]

Here is my newest CL ad, reflecting some of the changes I'm making to try and attract new/more clients. Let me know what you think, please!


Hi! Thank you for taking the time to read my ad. My in-home childcare has several openings for ages newborn and up! I have several openings during the week and one Saturday slot available immediately. Enroll and start by September 30th and receive special rates for the 2010-2011 school year! We are located in zip code ***xx, off of [road], between [other major road] and [parallel major road].

My name is SilverSabre25 and I have a Bachelor's Degree in Early Childhood Development and Education from [major area university]. I have a daughter who will be 3 in October and a husband who works a non-traditional schedule, so he is here to help us out every afternoon and all day on Thursday! Both my husband and I have completed and passed FBI and BCII background checks and I am Red Cross certified in First Aid and CPR/AED for Infants/Children/Adults. I am in the process of becoming registered with Action for Children. Ours is a non-smoking and drug/weapon/alcohol free home. We have a very friendly cat.

Our days are filled with playing, growing and learning! I use Funshine Buttercups as a curriculum, starting 10/4, and supplement with other activities as well. I provide all meals and snacks for children eating table food--my kitchen is allergy friendly (especially dairy and gluten) and I am capable of providing safe food for most food allergies or intolerances. I feed most natural/organic foods and all meals are very healthy--I serve much more than just "kid food!" Fruits and vegetables are offered with almost every meal and snack and sweet treats (like cookies, popsicles, etc) are limited to one per week or less. We play outside several times a day in the fenced back yard and fenced front yard. My home has a dedicated nap room where the children nap, a playroom on the main level, and another large playroom we use for large muscle movement when the weather is too bad to get outside. TV time is VERY limited--less than an hour/week for children who nap. Our curriculum covers letter and number recognition, letter sounds, counting and one-to-one correspondence, shapes and colors, crafts, music, science, stories, fine and gross motor skills, and manners.

Call or email me today to set up an interview so you can meet me and my family and tour my home! I can't wait to hear from you and welcome your child into our home!

SilverSabre25
(***)-***-***xx
[my email ] (without the spaces of course! This is to cut down on spam!)

1st paragraph: I would take out the word 'several', as a parent it would make me wonder why you have several, especially since you use it twice. I think it's great that you have a time-limited special.

2nd paragraph: I would keep in your bachelor's degree, that you have a daughter, background checks, first aid, cpr. And that's all. Details like your husband helping are too detailed, I think. I'm also not sure that it's necessary to mention non-smoking, drug free, etc. Or maybe I'm just being naive, but I don't think that if you leave that out people will assume that you smoke and keep all your guns sitting on the couch.

3rd paragraph: I'd split this into 2 paragraphs: curriculum and food, and keep each paragraph to 2 sentences. I think it's great that you can do gluten-free, so I'd definitely keep that in.

Play to your strengths: discount if you sign up now, healthy meals, bachelor's degree, use a curriculum. The other stuff can get in the way and generally it's what everyone else provides. Good luck, i hope you get a lot of responses. Also, I think it's good to keep the phone number in, some people don't like emailing through craigslist and others just prefer the phone.

Katy

[momofboys]

Here is my newest CL ad, reflecting some of the changes I'm making to try and attract new/more clients. Let me know what you think, please!


Hi! Thank you for taking the time to read my ad. My in-home childcare has several openings for ages newborn and up! I have several openings during the week and one Saturday slot available immediately. Enroll and start by September 30th and receive special rates for the 2010-2011 school year! We are located in zip code ***xx, off of [road], between [other major road] and [parallel major road].

My name is SilverSabre25 and I have a Bachelor's Degree in Early Childhood Development and Education from [major area university]. I have a daughter who will be 3 in October and a husband who works a non-traditional schedule, so he is here to help us out every afternoon and all day on Thursday! Both my husband and I have completed and passed FBI and BCII background checks and I am Red Cross certified in First Aid and CPR/AED for Infants/Children/Adults. I am in the process of becoming registered with Action for Children. Ours is a non-smoking and drug/weapon/alcohol free home. We have a very friendly cat.

Our days are filled with playing, growing and learning! I use Funshine Buttercups as a curriculum, starting 10/4, and supplement with other activities as well. I provide all meals and snacks for children eating table food--my kitchen is allergy friendly (especially dairy and gluten) and I am capable of providing safe food for most food allergies or intolerances. I feed most natural/organic foods and all meals are very healthy--I serve much more than just "kid food!" Fruits and vegetables are offered with almost every meal and snack and sweet treats (like cookies, popsicles, etc) are limited to one per week or less. We play outside several times a day in the fenced back yard and fenced front yard. My home has a dedicated nap room where the children nap, a playroom on the main level, and another large playroom we use for large muscle movement when the weather is too bad to get outside. TV time is VERY limited--less than an hour/week for children who nap. Our curriculum covers letter and number recognition, letter sounds, counting and one-to-one correspondence, shapes and colors, crafts, music, science, stories, fine and gross motor skills, and manners.

Call or email me today to set up an interview so you can meet me and my family and tour my home! I can't wait to hear from you and welcome your child into our home!

SilverSabre25
(***)-***-***xx
[my email ] (without the spaces of course! This is to cut down on spam!)

I personally think it looks good! We get all kinds on CL, don't we! I recognized your ad as we live in the same area (I live west outside of town) but you are definitely right that our CL gets tons of ads. As another poster mentione I would remove the word several. That's probably all I would do.

[MommyMuffin]

In my opinion I think it is too long. I would make it very short and sweet and list benefits.
Quality, Licensed Child care. Openings: _____
Food programs, infant and toddler curriculum, fenced in back yard...ect whatever benefits you have. Then put a link to your website and your email.
I have placed a few long ones and short ones. The professional short ones have brought me the contacts. They email and then I email back and sell myself, I offer this that and the other...u get the idea.

[Lucy]

Sorry - moved my reply to a new thread so as not to hijack this one!!

[SilverSabre25]

Yes, I usually do get a lot of response from my Craigslist ads. Most of my daycare clients have come from Craigslist. Of course, our area's Craigslist childcare page is very, VERY busy--there are 50+ childcare ads per day.