Issues with DCP of 1 Year Old

[thatdivalady]

So remember that parent that I was having issues with? Child getting ready to turn 1, parent wishing to feed formula til she's 2, wants her fed every 3 hours, etc. I sent her a lovely transitioning welcome letter that explained the guidelines, activities, feeding schedule, etc. She finally brought a doctor note in reagrds to the nutritional needs and the doctor stated that the child could be on the next step of formula. Well if the child has been on stage 2 since she was 8 months, the next step would be stage 3 -- right? Also, there was a handwritten sentence under the typed line stating that the child dows not need to adhere to the USDA guidelines.

Only this parent is fighting with me about that stating that since the stage 2 is for 8+ months, she is fine. DCP also had an issue because the child is now on a schedule at my program and did not like the baby food that was sent over so she did not eat breakfast (drank some formula), ate at lunchtime but refused the babyfood for snack (parents left the puffs at home). DCP was upset because the child did not eat snack.

So I get a letter from DCP about their right to feed their child whatever they want and they want their child fed the stage 2 formula.

I've never had so many interesting issues with a parent and since every single one of my other infants and young toddlers have been on the "normal" trajectory for their age, I am wondering how someone else would handle this. I know that part of my issue is the way the message is being relayed to me but more so the fact that I've never heard of this before and it's something outside of the norm. Has anyone ever dealt with something like this before?

[Lavender]

Is there a reason why you'd prefer the child to drink milk instead of formula? In my class we have parents that choose to continue formula or breastmilk for a while for the benefits, and we have parents who IMO switch over too soon. I have a child in my class who was born at 26 weeks and is still tiny. His parents thought that at 12 months he could suddenly switch to milk and table food and still get everything he needed. I actually have a 13 month old who is fed every 2 hours due to gastro-intestinal issues she has been having and she isn't on any table food but puffs yet. I have a little girl who is almost 18 months who is just now starting to feed herself a little table food due to her sensory issues.

If you don't provide the service of continuing formula or baby food once a child hits 12 months for whatever reason the parent feels it is necessary, then maybe you should consider terming? It's not worth the frustration to both you and the parents if you just don't agree.

[Angelsj]

Assuming what they want you to feed the child is not abusive (if they wanted you to feed her formula cut in half with water, or not enough to meet her nutritional needs), the parents have every right to decide what formula/type of milk to feed their child.

As to the other, you could gently suggest the baby might eat better if given some soft finger foods to eat. If they won't agree, simply tell the parents all you can do is OFFER the food. You can't shove it down the kid's throat.

[thatdivalady]

She finally brought a doctor note in reagrds to the nutritional needs and the doctor stated that the child could be on the next step of formula. Well if the child has been on stage 2 since she was 8 months, the next step would be stage 3 -- right? Also, there was a handwritten sentence under the typed line stating that the child dows not need to adhere to the USDA guidelines.

Only this parent is fighting with me about that stating that since the stage 2 is for 8+ months, she is fine.

This. I don't have a problem with the child being given formula. Although she is perfectly healhy, no sensory issues, etc and my personal opinion is different. Once I have a doctor's note I don't care, I just follow the note. The problem is what I listed above. My question is that if the doctor says its supposed to be the next stage and she's already been given stage 2, shouldn't she be on stage 3?

[Angelsj]

This. I don't have a problem with the child being given formula. Although she is perfectly healhy, no sensory issues, etc and my personal opinion is different. Once I have a doctor's note I don't care, I just follow the note. The problem is what I listed above. My question is that if the doctor says its supposed to be the next stage and she's already been given stage 2, shouldn't she be on stage 3?

Perhaps, but in the end it is the PARENT'S call, not yours or the docs.

[Blackcat31]

Why not just remove the child from the food program and feed the child according to the parents wishes?

I have a DCK/family right now who prefers their child to eat a diet that does NOT follow the food program requirements/guidelines but is under the care of a doctor (it isn't any type of funky or non-nutritional diet) so I simply had the family opt out of the food program and supply all the child's foods themselves.

I have them supply the meals (already cooked/prepared) and I just heat them up and serve.


I DO believe it is the parent's right to serve/feed in any way they believe is best.

If it really becomes a big hassle in your program or becomes something you can't do, then the right thing to do is let them go.

These situations are hard to deal with sometimes but we do have to prioritize what parents believe is best for their child.

[thatdivalady]

Thank you all for your perspective. I think that coming from a social work background where you follow specific guidelines for each topic, it is making this family a bit difficult for me. We always had regs to go by for everything which took the guesswork out of things.

I also think that my low tolerance level is in part due to having a myriad of issues with this family over the past year. But perhaps this is a good lesson for me and I need to just have a staff member take over for this particular case if I find that my personal issues are preventing me from being on board.

[Cradle2crayons]

Thank you all for your perspective. I think that coming from a social work background where you follow specific guidelines for each topic, it is making this family a bit difficult for me. We always had regs to go by for everything which took the guesswork out of things.

I also think that my low tolerance level is in part due to having a myriad of issues with this family over the past year. But perhaps this is a good lesson for me and I need to just have a staff member take over for this particular case if I find that my personal issues are preventing me from being on board.

It takes a great provider and person to do as you are doing and take a step back and try to be objective. Just like in social work, it's really what's in the best interest of the child. Some kids benefit from staying on formula longer, but as the others have said, if its not hurting the child, why not do what the parents want. I know it's hard because its outside the norm.

[itlw8]

the problem is it really is hurting the child. Children that eat strained foods for extended periods into the 2nd year of life often develop sensory issues and are those children that can not chew meat later

I would not agree to buy formula into the 2nd year. AND the food program will not reimburse for formula I think that may have changed because the rules on milk have been changed. so really not sure on that you would need to ask your rep if on the food program.

It costs more than milk but then I have not done a cost break down either. Have the parents start sending the formula that would take care of it..

as far as stage 3 foods I skip them they are just bigger jars.

[thatdivalady]

This child still doesn't eat much of the stage three foods, I'm guessing because the parents don't keep up with it at home. Parent stated to me before that the child doesn't like it...this is all new for me because along with my own child all of my other young toddlers are on table foods and regular milk unless there is a medical issue.

I was referring to the stage 3 formula which is for ages 1+.

[Cradle2crayons]

So what exactly is the reason the parents don't want to go onto the stage 3 formula??? We never did anything last stage two... From regular formula we went right into milk at one year. Never did figure there was a point to the stages except for formula companies to keep making money past one year??

[thatdivalady]

So what exactly is the reason the parents don't want to go onto the stage 3 formula??? We never did anything last stage two... From regular formula we went right into milk at one year. Never did figure there was a point to the stages except for formula companies to keep making money past one year??

Good question! She doesn't have a reason, she just continues to say she wants her to have formula.

[Cradle2crayons]

And the child is a healthy weight??

[thatdivalady]

Yes, the child is very healthy.

[youretooloud]

It is frustrating, and I don't understand why they do it either. But, I have one girl who is almost two, still takes a bottle of formula every day. They have her on a strict schedule. If you miss the schedule, mom will actually CRY.

http://www.kidsdr.com/daily-dose/transitioning-to-whole-milk-or-toddlers-formula

While I think toddler formula is throwing away good money, in the end, it's the parent's choice, and I would just remove her from the food program, and require them to bring her food until she's eating the food you serve.

I wouldn't ever mention it again.