Different Rules for DCK

[mnemom]

I have been searching for threads on this topic but it is really hard to narrow the search down, so I apologize if this is thread #46789.

What rules do you have for your daycare kids that you don't have for your own kids? How do you allow your kids freedom in their own home? Do you make them share all their toys? or is there some you don't make them share? My house is super small, so my daycare toys are my kids' toys so I was just wondering what specifically do you do to make it easier for you kids. I sometimes feel like they are being slighted by me having a daycare in the home.

[Cradle2crayons]

I have been searching for threads on this topic but it is really hard to narrow the search down, so I apologize if this is thread #46789.

What rules do you have for your daycare kids that you don't have for your own kids? How do you allow your kids freedom in their own home? Do you make them share all their toys? or is there some you don't make them share? My house is super small, so my daycare toys are my kids' toys so I was just wondering what specifically do you do to make it easier for you kids. I sometimes feel like they are being slighted by me having a daycare in the home.

I treat all of the kids the same. Of course they are all individuals. I try to always make extra plans outside of daycare hours and do special things... Like the carnival, bowling etc. it's important they understand that this daycare thing affords us ALL some extra luxuries (hopefully) and why we do what we do. Also important that nobody feels more or less loved and cared for. All my kids follow the same rules WHILE there are daycare kids here. Of course, on special Sundays when we do extra family things, I may let my son skip his nap etc.

[SilverSabre25]

This is a very tough situation to balance well. I still don't think I do a good enough job balancing my own kids/not my kids. My 5 yo in particular has been complaining bitterly lately about daycare.

The biggest thing I do is that both my kids have their own rooms with their own toys that are NOT shared and dcks are NEVER allowed in my own kids's rooms. That is their private space and DD values it highly and frequently retreats to her room. DS doesn't retreat yet, but gets MAD when my 11 mo dcb tries to crawl into his room (DS is 22 months), so he definitely is aware of the "special" of his room.

I let my own kids eat outside of prescribed snack and meal times--DD has pretty free reign of the kitchen and knows to keep it out of sight. My home set up allows this. She gets DS snacks sometimes, too.

I just instituted a weekly "Daddy Daughter Date" for my DH and DD, where he comes home earlier than usual and takes her out to spend some quality time together.

After all the daycare kids go home I spend time decompressing to be a better mom all evening, and my kids each get a half hour TV show. Then we launch into dinner and the rest of the evening. I feel they deserve the decompression time, too.

DS and I get cuddle time after everyone else is napping, before he falls asleep. If he wakes up early we get special time then, too.

[NeedaVaca]

I do not allow the DCK to do the same things as my DS. He has in special toys in his room, DCK do not go in his room. He also has the freedom to go anywhere in the house, my DCK are in the playroom, dining room or art room only. We also have a TV upstairs and I will let my DS watch a cartoon occasionally. My DS is also allowed to have snacks but he knows he can't eat in front of DCK. We also do special things together when the DCK's take their naps so he gets alone time with me.

[crazydaycarelady]

I had my own kids keep any special toys or toys that they did not want the dckids to have in their rooms. The dckids did not play in their rooms unless they were invited by my kids.

Also my kids could go anywhere in the house they liked, where as the dckids had to stay with me in the dcrooms.

If my kids had a snack or something the dckids were not having I made them stay in the kitchen.

I think it is okay for the providers own kids to have more leway in the home. They need to know that they are special. It is there house. The dckids get those same privileges in their own homes.

[Lyss]

I have been searching for threads on this topic but it is really hard to narrow the search down, so I apologize if this is thread #46789.

What rules do you have for your daycare kids that you don't have for your own kids? How do you allow your kids freedom in their own home? Do you make them share all their toys? or is there some you don't make them share? My house is super small, so my daycare toys are my kids' toys so I was just wondering what specifically do you do to make it easier for you kids. I sometimes feel like they are being slighted by me having a daycare in the home.

The more DC stuff I add to my home the smaller it feels :: DD has her own room, no one naps or plays in there (usually). I do keep some of the DC toys in her room when they are cycled out of the playroom. DD prefers to play in her room in the evenings vs the daycare toys/area. She also has special toys that stay in the closet during DC hours (she can play in her room with them during DC) and every Tuesday she gets "Daddy day" (DH has Mon/Tues off until this summer) so she gets to go out and do something special and have lunch with DH. DD also gets to play in the garage play area while daddy works in there on his days off but the DCKs don't.

All other rules are the same for her as they are for DCKs during DC hours. The only real issue I've been struggling with lately is her being in the kitchen. I allow her to help on weekends and when I make dinner at night but during the week I don't allow anyone in the kitchen, currently this is proving to be an issue as she wants to help, but if I have one I have them all and I don't need a bunch of kiddos in my tiny kitchen. Finding a balance is an ongoing challenge.

[cheerfuldom]

I had my own kids keep any special toys or toys that they did not want the dckids to have in their rooms. The dckids did not play in their rooms unless they were invited by my kids.

Also my kids could go anywhere in the house they liked, where as the dckids had to stay with me in the dcrooms.

If my kids had a snack or something the dckids were not having I made them stay in the kitchen.

I think it is okay for the providers own kids to have more leway in the home. They need to know that they are special. It is there house. The dckids get those same privileges in their own homes.

yes, this is me too. I dont have the same rules for my kids and the daycare kids. I actually found that everyone, including the daycare kids, were unhappy with me trying to make everything equal. There is much more peace in the house now that there are boundaries. My daycare kids understand that the toys at my house are mine and I share with them. That keeps the daycare kids from getting territorially at my house, like this is THEIR house, THEIR toys, etc. and it also keeps my own kids from getting territorial over the daycare supplies. If any of the daycare kids start taking over, then they are put on some minor restrictions. They are last in line, last to eat, and I take away toy or activity privileges that are causing trouble. For instance, I have a 3 year old daycare child that has started acting like she can go in any room, that everything here is hers and that type of thing. The first thing I took away was her "dress up" privileges because she gets very territorial over those things and even pushed a toddler over in a fight over them. If anybody cant handle something, they lose privileges, even the young ones. Something else that helps is having some toys, even if your space is small, that are your kids only. Put a separate toybox in their room. If they dont want to share, they are directed to put their special toy in the toybox for now.

[Play Care]

My own kids toys and rooms were always off limits to DC kids. Once my kids were old enough, they could go play in their rooms if they chose to. My own kids are school aged now and no longer count in my ratios (even for vacations) so they are pretty much given free reign - of course with that comes responsibility - as I am working and not able to be at their beck and call.

That said, when my kids counted in my numbers and were younger, I really strived to treat my own children the same as the dc kids in a lot of respects. No special snacks, or television while dc kids were up and about - during quiet time once they had outgrown naps, sure. But they couldn't decide at 9:30 in the middle of circle/story time that they wanted to watch Dora upstairs. On the flip side, I also gave my kids the same privacy considerations that the dc kids legally get - if they were sick or an incident happened that involved them I never named names. I recall reading one time that one of the main reasons parents chose centers over in homes is due to the provider's children being shown favoritism, I tried hard to take a balanced approach.

[e.j.]

I've always treated my day care kids as though they were my own kids so I didn't have special rules that they had to follow and my own kids didn't. When my kids were very young, I wanted them within eyesight at all times so they weren't allowed to go upstairs during day care hours. They never minded because it was more fun playing with the other kids anyway.

As my own kids got older, I allowed them certain privileges that any older kid would get, like playing alone upstairs in their rooms for extended periods of time. Since I don't do school age care, the change in rules for my own kids never became an issue. The day care kids just accepted the fact that my kids were "big kids" so they got to do different things.

I did have the luxury of a separate day care room so it made it easier with respect to my kids' toys. If they didn't want to share their special toys, they needed to leave them in their rooms until after the day care closed and the kids had gone home. If they wanted to play with their toys during day care hours, they had to be prepared to share them.

[mnemom]

This is really hard because of how small my house is. My 4 and 6 year old share a room, and bc of space some of the community toys are in there. I guess I really need to work on getting my basement to where I can have just daycare stuff down there, then my kids could have their own spaces.

[HomeMADE]

I am very lucky in that I only have one bedroom downstairs and that belongs to my 11 year old son. I do use his room for toddler naps, I roll in a crib and one pack n play for 1 hour. After that he has his space back. I also do not allow anyone upstairs. Upstairs is our bonus room and the other bedrooms and it is my boys respite, age 7 and 11.

Now I also have a 3yo and 4yo that when here they are 100% part of the daycare when I am open. Everyone during childcare hours is treated the exact same. I encourage my little one's to keep their special things upstairs. But they insist on bringing them to share. And I allow that, while there are a few tiffs here and there for the most part it works out. My kids love it, they actually want to sleep in the daycare room with the daycare kids.

It's not perfect, but life isn't perfect.

[AmyKidsCo]

When my children were the same age as the DCK they followed the same rules as the CK. But now our youngest are 6 & 8, and my DCK are 4 and younger so my boys have pretty much "outgrown" the DC. They're allowed to play anywhere in the house they want, whenever they want, but if they choose to play in the DK areas they must follow the DK rules. They can't bring toys into the living room (separated from the DC space by a baby gate) and play with them in front of the DCK. They can't watch TV during DK, and if they get a snack (which is rare) they have to eat it somewhere the DCK can't see them. They're also allowed to play in the backyard or driveway by themselves when the weather is nice.

[mnemom]

This summer is going to be harder in terms of DCK. My son is 6 and has trouble dealing with the dck. He is just a really active kid who doesn't have the best social skills, so he struggles when there are more kids in the house. I am just trying to figure out how to keep it fair, without disciplining my son his entire summer. I think I am going to use the suggestions that he gets his own toys that stay in his room, that he can go play with. Also our yard is fenced in, so he can easily play outside by himself or with his 4 year old sister, while I am doing DC stuff inside. Thanks for the suggestions.

[JenNJ]

My kids are allowed to sit on the couch in the daycare room, they may leave the daycare room whenever they choose, they may get snacks whenever, eat lunch whenever. They keep special toys in their room and do not have to share anything they don't want to. When they are ready to share a toy, they donate it to the daycare. They play out in the yard as they please, alone. They can play with our dog.

This is their home. They are not in daycare.

[mnemom]

My kids are allowed to sit on the couch in the daycare room, they may leave the daycare room whenever they choose, they may get snacks whenever, eat lunch whenever. They keep special toys in their room and do not have to share anything they don't want to. When they are ready to share a toy, they donate it to the daycare. They play out in the yard as they please, alone. They can play with our dog.

This is their home. They are not in daycare.

Where is your daycare room located? We have a super small house. Two bedrooms, one for us and the baby, and one for my 6 and 4 year old. My dining room is the play room, and some toys are in the kids' bedroom. All the toys are my kids' toys.