WWYD - Terminate or Wait

[Unregistered]

Terminated Today

I had to terminate a nine month old girl today, and I feel just awful about it.

She came to me at 4 or 5 months old from a large center where they had cameras. The parents said that they would watch her all day from work and got very frustrated because "she was such a good baby the staff would rarely pick her up".

So they moved her to my day care in November 2012. She is my 15th infant. I have had 5 months of pure misery.

I spoke with the parents many times because she would drink a few sips of her bottle and then refuse more. She would only drink it if it was the right temperature. She napped for 30 minutes at a time and would wake up whining. After naps, she whined and grunt whined (angry whine) constantly unless she was being held. She refused food. It almost looked like she knew what would get me annoyed.

I told the dad a few weeks ago that she was "on probation". Then she would get a little better for parts of the day and I would give him a good report. I thought maybe once she was mobile she would stop. But yesterday, the whining went on all day long.

My son and my sister encouraged me to term and told me I was stubborn for not doing it. Well, this morning I handed the dad the letter without a word. I will keep her until a definite date a few weeks from now while they make other arrangements. They are a very nice couple, but I just couldn't take it anymore.

[Cradle2crayons]

Sounds like untreated reflux and yes it will make them cry 24/7.. Been there, done that.... And some parents are clueless that this condition is actually very very dangerous untreated... If you term, please educate mom... Honestly it has nothing to do with daycare.. But his little esophagus is probably being eaten alive... Poor thing...

[Blackcat31]

I had to terminate a nine month old girl today, and I feel just awful about it.

She came to me at 4 or 5 months old from a large center where they had cameras. The parents said that they would watch her all day from work and got very frustrated because "she was such a good baby the staff would rarely pick her up".

So they moved her to my day care in November 2012. She is my 15th infant. I have had 5 months of pure misery.

I spoke with the parents many times because she would drink a few sips of her bottle and then refuse more. She would only drink it if it was the right temperature. She napped for 30 minutes at a time and would wake up whining. After naps, she whined and grunt whined (angry whine) constantly unless she was being held. She refused food. It almost looked like she knew what would get me annoyed.

I told the dad a few weeks ago that she was "on probation". Then she would get a little better for parts of the day and I would give him a good report. I thought maybe once she was mobile she would stop. But yesterday, the whining went on all day long.

My son and my sister encouraged me to term and told me I was stubborn for not doing it. Well, this morning I handed the dad the letter without a word. I will keep her until a definite date a few weeks from now while they make other arrangements. They are a very nice couple, but I just couldn't take it anymore.

That's okay. You did the right thing.

Not all babies are cut out for daycare and the daycare must be the right fit.

I think the most issues arise when providers don't know when to throw in the towel and stop. They somehow feel as though they HAVE to continue trying or dealing with tough situations because it's their job.

I think more providers need to be honest with not only themselves but with the parents too.

I also think many providers need to move beyond the mentality that we can "fix" them all.

We can't.

Sometimes it is in the best interest of EVERYONE (the provider, the child, the other children and the parents) to term when things aren't going well.

Loss of income is a huge factor in whether a provider tries to stick it out and that is sad because although money is necessary and important for providers to be able to remain successful themselves, it just shouldn't weigh in on situations like this.

[MarinaVanessa]

You are doing what is right for you and you tried to make it work, that's all that matters. Hopefully everything goes well from now until their last day. Thank you for the update, I had been wondering about you and the little baby. :hug:

[Unregistered]

Terminated Today

Thanks Blackcat31,
The money issue isn't going to be a big problem. I am lucky to have contact with the director of a new center that is being built that has filled all of its infant spots already. So, I think I will be able to fill the spot soon.

Your kind words made me feel better and I thank you.

It's kind of funny that dcg is behaving better today. She may be picking up on my feeling of relief that the end is in sight.

[Unregistered]

Thanks MarinaVanessa,
I don't anticipate any issues while we wind down the days. The parents are both professionals. There are also cultural issues in this case and there isn't much I can do if we are doing things differently here than they are doing at home in terms of sleeping, feeding, etc.

Thanks for your support and encouragement!

[itlw8]

If you have to pay someone 200 and does that include the SStax you have to pay for her? and only get paid 215... heck no I would not even take the child. unless in a months you would no longer need to pay her to make ratio.

and even then you can always fill an infant opening

[Unregistered]

I terminated yesterday and my letter said I would care for dcg until May 17. The dcd came this afternoon. He said that today is their last day and that if I don't want her here then they don't want her here. He collected all her things and they left.

I am so relieved.

Good luck to all who are thinking of terming. It isn't easy. I am going to lose a lot of income, but keep my sanity.