The Absolute NERVE Of This Woman

[Jewels]

WOW, I don't know what else to say, I look forward to hearing an update though, What NERVE!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Holy cow!

[My3cents]

So I have Strep Throat, that was diagnosed yesterday.

Last night my ds started throwing up at around 11 pm, every 10 min.

He is still throwing up as we speak.

I have been awake since 5:30am, Tuesday. I had a 6am arrival.

I have been awake for over 25 hours now and I am exhausted.

I called all my parents this morning and told them I was closing today. They all said ok, I will call back up, get well quick.

One called back and said I called 3 people no one can take him. I said well I guess you call in sick then. She said today is just a bad day to do this. I said well we are sick, I'm sorry.

She said ok I will call you back. 2 minutes later she shows up at my door. I open it and she plunks down the car seat and says no one will take him, I have to work, and I don't care if he gets sick and walks out.

WHILE MY SON IS UPSTAIRS SCREAMING FOR ME BECAUSE HE IS PUKING AGAIN.

I am so done with this career and rude, brainless parents. I'm so mad I could spit.

I see there is 60 post to read after I write this........ so not seeing what everyone else wrote here is my take on this---

I would have said NO, you will have to take your son with you, we are sick and I am CLOSED for today. Risk losing the client but if she is that rude I wouldn't want to work with her at all. You chase after her with her son and say NO! Parents can only be rude to you if you let them!!!

That being said..... sorry and I hope you feel better. Don't let bad apples make or break your career choice. There are tons of good parents that appreciate their providers out there. Tons of them.

[Lyss]

Update?!

I'm hoping that she's sleeping because DCM (hopefully ex-DCM) got her booty back and picked up her kid!

[laundrymom]

Hoping you dropped him at her work with a nice little speal about having two choices, her work, or CPS. and then you called your licensor and explained the complaint she was fixing to get.

[youretooloud]

I agree that the OP let them come in but when a mother refuses to answer calls/texts from the provider in regards to their child, I consider THAT action abandonment.

We consider it abandonment, but in the eyes of the law, it isn't. The mom left her son with his caregiver like she does every day. Even if the mom didn't show up or call til midnight, the baby is in the care of his own caregiver. CPS won't even care, other than to listen to the complaint.

[My3cents]

She wont answer her phone. Neither will her sister.

Call her work!!! Speak to her boss and be ready to term.

[momofsix]

Absolutely unbelievable!!!:confused:
I'd call my licensor before I did any of the advice above just to be sure YOU won't get into any trouble.
On another thought-I was wondering if mom was a "high powered executive" type or what she does for a living that's sooooo much more important than her child and your family???? Is she that worried about being fired or does she think she's so important her company will fall apart without her?
I totally understand parents being in a bind. There are definitely some days that are much worse than others to have an emergency come up, but I just can't grasp a parent going this far:confused: Has society really put so much pressure on moms that work outside the home that they can actually legitimize an action like this? I pray not-and that this is just a one-in-a-million, but I'm afraid it may not be

[Blackcat31]

We consider it abandonment, but in the eyes of the law, it isn't. The mom left her son with his caregiver like she does every day. Even if the mom didn't show up or call til midnight, the baby is in the care of his own caregiver. CPS won't even care, other than to listen to the complaint.

Our law enforcement/CPS is different.

I had a DCM who didn't show up to pick up her child. I called every person on her emergency contact list and got no one.'

Called my licensor. She said call the police as not being available and not picking up is considered abandonment.

I called the police and they picked up the child. CPS placed her with our Crisis Nursery program until her parent could be reached.

My licensor said I could NOT keep a child beyond my "licensed hours".

Either way, I am not going to debate what technically defines "abandonment" and what doesn't. I just know what I would do if I were in OP's shoes.

Besides OP is from Canada and I am sure their CPS or CSA works differently than in the US....can't say for sure.

[youretooloud]

We had a case here a few months ago (well several actually)

The father came an hour after closing time. He was very drunk and driving a motorcycle. The provider refused to release the child to him. So, Dad went home and went to bed. The provider tried to call mom who said "I'm working, I can't come get him, you'll have to keep him", but the provider was leaving for the airport in a less than two hours, so she called CPS and police. Both of them said "It isn't abandonment, and we can't just take him because you are late for your plane" She probably wished she'd just let the Dad take him.

Another one was really weird, and I don't understand this one. But, a little girl died in the care of her daycare provider. But, the mom hadn't picked the child up in almost six months... so, this kid had been in daycare 24/7 for six months... they did not charge the mom because technically, she left the child with a caregiver. They charged the providers. (I should try to find out what ever happened with that case, I never followed it)

[My3cents]

Wow what?

I'm not blaming a provider for parents negligent and irresponsible actions. I'm asking why a provider took responsibility for another parents negligent and irresponsible actions. I don't think this provider did. I think she was sick and couldn't think fast enough because she was horrified that this parent dropped and ran- prob not dressed or coping well, thus the reason she called in sick. Usually I would see where your going with this but in this case the parent is solely at fault here. The provider was CLOSED. She made that clear. I would have opened up the door and talked with the parent too, probably figuring the parent was looking for something she wanted to bring to someone elses care or she came to pay me or maybe she felt bad and brought me a tea or get well flowers. This women barged in, dropped her kid and ran- stunning the provider. How she handles it now will say a lot- guess we all have to stay tuned. My point is trying to flip this around on the provider is not even in the equation.

If a parent shows up an hour before I open and bangs on my door before I'm out of bed I'm not getting up and I'm certainly not opening the door. If a parent brings their child without a coat and I accept that child into care I cannot be upset that then no one can go outside that day. If a parent decides not to pay me, and I let that go on and on and on and on, I cannot be upset that I cannot pay my bills.yes to all of these, but this is not the case here. It is not about opening the door.

If I get up and open the door - I can't be upset about that because my response was my own responsibility.you are wrong here, she has every right to be upset at this parent because she was Closed!!!I can be upset they showed up early, I can be upset they disrespected their contracted times, but I can't blame them for how I choose to respond to their actions. The only difference here is that she should have been following her right out the door with her child and said NO! I don't think this lady gave her a chance to do this, plus her own son was vomiting and calling for her.

If I accept a child not prepared for the day into care - I can't be upset that it then effects everyone else and ruins everyone elses day because I choose to take that child in regardless. I can be upset a parent didn't remember that their actions effect everyone, but everything beyond that is on me as the provider.

If I don't put my foot down about being paid promptly and in full - I can't be upset then that a parent continues to take full advantage of that. I can be upset a parent doesn't think me enough of a priority to pay me, but I cannot be upset at the parent for how I respond to that disrespect.


All of that is what it is.

Skirting around those situations telling a provider it stinks doesn't fix it. EMPOWERING THEM however, does. How do you stop it? How do you fix it? How do you prevent it from ever happening again? THIS is how.

Sometimes support comes in the form of sympathy and other times it comes in the form of solutions. I stink at sympathy, I'd rather tell a provider "You were a pushover just there! Don't do that again!" so they know it's ok to put their foot down and they don't have to deal with such angst again in the future.

We cannot control parents, we can only control how we respond to them and require our own lives to be. You cannot bank on strangers caring about you family or your life as much as you do which is why ONE HAS TO STAND UP FOR ONES SELF.

Your response is wrong to this provider, putting the blame on the provider for this Parent who lossed her mind and just dropped her kid not caring if her kid is to get sick or not is the one in the WRONG. I am irritated with your response here your out of line trying to blame this on the Provider-

[butterfly]

We consider it abandonment, but in the eyes of the law, it isn't. The mom left her son with his caregiver like she does every day. Even if the mom didn't show up or call til midnight, the baby is in the care of his own caregiver. CPS won't even care, other than to listen to the complaint.

This is NOT the case here. I do foster care and my last long term placement was placed into care because the mom never returned to pick up her children from daycare. They remained in care, because it was evident that she lacked other parental skills, among other issues... CPS WOULD care in my area!!

[Springdaze]

theres got to be more to that one because that doesn't make any kind of sense!

[Springdaze]

referring to this

Another one was really weird, and I don't understand this one. But, a little girl died in the care of her daycare provider. But, the mom hadn't picked the child up in almost six months... so, this kid had been in daycare 24/7 for six months... they did not charge the mom because technically, she left the child with a caregiver. They charged the providers. (I should try to find out what ever happened with that case, I never followed it)

[Springdaze]

Another one was really weird, and I don't understand this one. But, a little girl died in the care of her daycare provider. But, the mom hadn't picked the child up in almost six months... so, this kid had been in daycare 24/7 for six months... they did not charge the mom because technically, she left the child with a caregiver. They charged the providers. (I should try to find out what ever happened with that case, I never followed it)

referring to this