Do you bring up gun play/rough housing at interviews with parents of little boys?

[Evansmom]

After reading the post about gun play and violence I started thinking that I've never brought up the subject of gun play or rough housing at interviews. We do have some spaceman style laser guns, light sabers, play swords and nerf shooters that I allow the kids to play with and no one has ever said anything.

But today I have an interview with parents who have a little boy and I'm wondering is this something that you would bring up during an interview? Would you disclose that you have play guns and allow them?

Conversely if you have play guns and allow them and prospective parents didn't like that you do would you either not hire them or would you put all those types of toys away just when that child is present?

Just wondering what others do in this situation. Thanks!

[Brooksie]

I have a no gun/toy weapon rule in my childcare and its even in my contract. I make sure to bring it up during interviews and then again at contract signing. I just don't allow it and want to make sure it isn't an issue. I don't think its developmentally appropriate for kids to pretend to kill each other. I do have a nephew who is OBSESSED with guns and Call or Duty and on days that he would 'drop in' for school closings my sister would always let him bring his guns with him and I always would say "Wow Eli, that's really cool! I'm glad you showed me." And then hand it right back to my sister and send her away with it.

[cheerfuldom]

I think if you make a rule, you should let them know.

but if you dont have a rule and they dont ask, then I wouldnt allow their preferences to dictate your daycare AFTER contract is signed, otherwise they may feel that you are open to them dictating other things. If its that important to them, they need to bring it up at interview.

We dont have any guns or weapons here for daycare play but I also have never had a parent ask about it during interview.

[canadiancare]

I don't allow weapons of any kind and I have it written in my policies. My parents all receive copies of said policies prior to our interview at which point they are invited to ask any questions about the daycare that I have missed or to receive clarification on anything they aren't certain about.

Since you are going in the opposite direction in that you allow weapon play I suppose as a parent I might like to know that my kids will be possibly introduced to toys that I don't have in my own home and which may be against my parenting philosophy.

[Crazy In Mo]

I don't allow any weapon type toys in daycare. I do let my 3 yr old son play with these type of toys after hours but I have some pretty strict rules for him.

If they don't ask I probably wouldn't mention it.

[SuperNinjaMommy]

I wouldn't mention it unless they ask. I don't like that kind of play going on especially if they are aiming it towards each other. I try to keep guns out but sometimes they are brought and I do let them play with it but I try to curb it to friendly play only reminding them that they should be kind.

[Starburst]

I think if it's more like you don't allow those type of things then you would say something. But if you have toys like that and she doesn't ask then probably just don't bring it up because it most likely isn't a big issue for her if she doesn't bring it up. If she does bring it up then you can mention it but if you have any limits or things you do not allow then bring that up too. Also if you have a "don't bring toys from home" policy anyway than it should be fine.

I am one of the people who says I won't allow guns in my program but I have thought about maybe for older kids (school age) during the summer allowing super soakers/water squirters (water guns) and water balloons ('water gernades') or even 'lazer tag' (lazer guns with sheilds that react) but then I think "is that hypocritical?" there are some things when it is not used as agression but more for just fun and a means of staying cool in the heat and I wouldn't let the younger kids play (or get 'hit') because I would have little pools and other water toys.

[Blackcat31]

ALL my rules/policies are gone over indepth during the interview process.

My handbook is gone over thoroughly section by section and page by page.

I leave no stone unturned.

I want to KNOW my parents understand my expectations BEFORE they begin care.

[rmc20021]

I have never thought about the issue of discussing this with the parents at an interview. I guess because it was never as big an issue in my daycare until recently when I got a new boy who seemed to want to do nothing but play in this manner. It was his dad I had the discussion with about it and dad pretty much blew it off.

I know another one of my dcb's mom's does not allow that kind of play.

So, now that you have brought up the issue about whether you discuss it with prospective clients, I am adding it to my policy.

With that being said, and after reading all the comments yesterday, I have decided to absolutely not allow them to play fight, shoot or play aggressively or violently with the action figures. I don't want to discourage them playing with them, or their creativity so today, I really stressed other ways to play with the action figures.

The boys were great...not once did they shoot, or act as though they wanted the figures to be aggessive or violent. One boy actually even showed me how the two action figures 'hugged' each other (yeah...wait till the dad's hear that one). They saved each other from falling off tall buildings, helped get injured figures to the doctor, etc.

Boys can be boys in their play and still not be aggressive and violent...save it for home if parents allow it.

[cheerfuldom]

I think if it's more like you don't allow those type of things then you would say something. But if you have toys like that and she doesn't ask then probably just don't bring it up because it most likely isn't a big issue for her if she doesn't bring it up. If she does bring it up then you can mention it but if you have any limits or things you do not allow then bring that up too. Also if you have a "don't bring toys from home" policy anyway than it should be fine.

I am one of the people who says I won't allow guns in my program but I have thought about maybe for older kids (school age) during the summer allowing super soakers/water squirters (water guns) and water balloons ('water gernades') or even 'lazer tag' (lazer guns with sheilds that react) but then I think "is that hypocritical?" there are some things when it is not used as agression but more for just fun and a means of staying cool in the heat and I wouldn't let the younger kids play (or get 'hit') because I would have little pools and other water toys.

I dont have problem whatsoever with water guns and water toys. As a parent, I would rather my kids have fun than worry about every single thing that might look like a gun or be used the wrong way. Most boys will make guns out of legos and some of my girls here will come up with "weapons" out of various things. Its more about showing them appropriate play and talking about it then about banning any toy that migh possible be a problem for some parent out there. I honestly think that we providers think WAY more about this stuff than most parents out there.

[rmc20021]

I agree that providers probably think more about things going on in their home with the dck's than what their parents do.

However, being responsible for other people's kids puts us into a position where we MUST think about these things more seriously as they are not our own children, yet we are still the ones responsible when situations come up that may harm a child, or create behaviors some parents don't want their children doing.

I allow my own kids to watch scarey movies, but won't allow dck's to watch them because a lot of parents wouldn't want their kids seeing some of the stuff in the movies.

I allow my own kids to ride their bikes on the road (I live on a dead end road), but don't allow any of the dck's (or mine when dck's are present) to do so because I'm responsible for these kids and don't want a lawsuit should one of them be injured.

I don't allow my dck's to run in the house because there are several kids and they collide and cause injuries, yet if there's one or two children in a regular family home environment, it's safer.

[itlw8]

If you bring it up with boys you should with girls also.

I think it would be best in the handbook and answered if they ask.

No realistic toy guns but we do play with space guns and nerf swords as long as the play is safe and they do not shoot each other.

With kids in kindergarten getting kicked out of school for pointing a finger like a gun I just have always said .That is a fun game at home but here at school we can not pretend to shoot guns.

[Evansmom]

Thanks everyone for the input. It's funny that in all they years I've been in child care I haven't thought of bringing this up with clients.

I did not bring it up at this interview today. I do allow guns and play fighting in my school but I do not allow violent or aggressive words like kill or murder. I let them say "I'll get you" but not "I'll kill you".