Dilemma *sigh*

[SilverSabre25]

I have one spot open right now (has been since last May), one spot semi-open because of a dcb heading to kindy and his mom having a job crisis, and one spot semi-open because of my daughter's age. So in many ways, I have three spots open right now.

I have one of them scheduled to be filled by a newborn coming in May. We've got the verbal agreement, but nothing signed and no money has changed hands.

Now a family that is good friends with my current only (well semi-only, remember dcb in limbo) dcfamily is looking for care for their three kids. One who's 4 and twin two year olds. They might be close to 5 and 3 I'm not sure. Anyway...older kids. OLDER KIDS!! It's like a dream come true. I love babies, I love little ones, but I have a busy, rough toddler boy of my own and a dcb who will be barely a year when the baby would start.

My question is...would I be a horrible person to take the family of three and tell the family with the baby that I'm sorry but I won't be able to care for their daughter after all? What are my obligations here?

(I'm aware of the issues of having such large sibling groups, that's not necessarily the issue at hand.)

[WImom]

I'd say go for it if in your contract it requires money to hold the spot. The client with the baby doesn't have a spot held.

[mamac]

I don't think you'd be a horrible person for doing what is best for you and your business. If you let the family with the baby know of your intentions now they still have plenty of time to find alternate care. I don't know what your policies are regarding holding fees and whatnot, but seeing as no money has exchanged hands and there is no written contract I don't see any problem. And personally, if I were in their shoes, I would have wanted something in writing if I was absolutely sure of wanting a spot held for me since it is so far away. Maybe they are still keeping their options open as well. I say take the sure bet now and give your apologies to the other family. Or you could pass on 3 now and MAYBE get one in May....

[EchoMom]

I don't see a dilema here at all. Seems pretty cut and dry to me. Take the more immediate sibling group if that's what you want and send your apologies but that the spot is no longer available to the infant. They still have tons of time to find a new place and they're not out any money. There is no harm done.

[cheerfuldom]

take the three older now and dont tell the baby family until the trial with the new family is over and you know it will work out

[mbullette]

I would call the family with the infant and find out if they are going to come over and sign the contract and put money down. Give them 24 hours to do so or you are going to fill the spot. If they dont come over then they didnt want the spot that bad. At least you called and offered and then it would be up to them to either pay for it or look for another sitter.

[Mom&Provider]

Depends. Does the family with the baby wanting to start in May have a contract at home with them? Did you tell them no rush on the money or contract since you had the room? If you've just said here's the contract that needs to be signed and you'll need to leave a deposit, then no, the spot(s) are open until everything comes in and its not your fault they're not moving quickly on it, BUT if you told them no rush etc. then I guess you have a choice to make! The one family w/the baby will be upset IMO if you've told them no hurry with the paperwork, but then you have to decide if that matters to you or is the other family just such a great fit that it's not a big deal for you!?

[SilverSabre25]

I would call the family with the infant and find out if they are going to come over and sign the contract and put money down. Give them 24 hours to do so or you are going to fill the spot. If they dont come over then they didnt want the spot that bad. At least you called and offered and then it would be up to them to either pay for it or look for another sitter.

Depends. Does the family with the baby wanting to start in May have a contract at home with them? Did you tell them no rush on the money or contract since you had the room? If you've just said here's the contract that needs to be signed and you'll need to leave a deposit, then no, the spot(s) are open until everything comes in and its not your fault they're not moving quickly on it, BUT if you told them no rush etc. then I guess you have a choice to make! The one family w/the baby will be upset IMO if you've told them no hurry with the paperwork, but then you have to decide if that matters to you or is the other family just such a great fit that it's not a big deal for you!?

Well, the family with the baby was supposed to be filling a spot left by an out-going dck, and the baby is due in march, they're starting in May. They said they wanted me to watch the baby, I told them to call me after she's born and we'd set up a time to meet again after she's born and they can fill out paperwork. I am not charging a holding fee for them because among other things, I don't think that's the norm aroudn here. I've never had success with it when I've tried. And no one I know of does deposits either.

I just feel awkward about this whole thing...but feeling beholden to a family just because they say they want me is something that has gotten me into some bad daycare relationships in the past.

[Heidi]

take the three older now and dont tell the baby family until the trial with the new family is over and you know it will work out

I agree. Make sure the trio is working out before you notify the other family. It's still 4 months away, you have no deposit, and a million things can happen before then!