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I am looking for some guidance with creating a behavioral form which will alert parents to any negative behaviors their child has during the day. Specifically, I am having big issues with a specific dcb that is aggressive, manipulative, hurts others, lies, spits, hits, etc. I have verbally informed his parents of the behaviors, and little has been done to minimize them. They rarely support me and its believed never really deal with his problematic behaviors. I am wanting to create a daily type of note that I can send home specifying what negative behaviors occured. At least this way I will have a paper trail. Often, I don't have the opportunity to really communicate with mom or dad because other parents arrive at the same time and I don't feel comfortable addressing behaviors with them in front of other parents. I am totally stressed by this child and the negative impact he is having on the other kids. I'm thinking of letting them go, but feel I need to show good effort to curtail the behaviors...all the while having proof that I attempted to communicate (in-writing) what has occured. Any help or suggestions with a type of report/form?? Thanks!
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I would simply take a blank piece of paper and title it
Daily Report.
I would then jot down the misbehaviors you are seeing, the action you took to stop it or address it and then have the parents sign and date it. Put it in the child's file.
I would also inform the parents that you are looking to decrease the number of incidents of bad behavior in care and that they are currently being put on "probation".
Set yourself a date (put a star on your calendar) in which you want to see the behavior slowing to a minimum per day or stopping all together.
If there is no improvement by the date you set, term.
I would inform the parents that you WILL be terming if there is no improvement.
I had a DCB like that in the past too and honestly, things will never get better until the parents start working WITH you. If they won't take responsibility for helping their child overcome these behaviors, they surely can't expect you to do it alone.
How old is this child? -
He is on the cusp of turning 5. In your situation, did the parents support you and start disciplining the child? It's as if in my situation that they don't. I feel like I tell them and no consequences are given. If anything he lives in a world of constant rewards. I may have to term because it is really impacting my daycare as a whole. He consumes a lot of my time dealing with his ongoing behavioral issues..Comment
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100% on board with what BC suggested.
I cant help but notice that you are really stuck on all the negatives with this child. NOt putting you down at all, I myself have been there before.
Can you possibly try to see the positive in this child? What does he do that is good? Is he getting opportunities to do good things and be praised for his efforts?
I have dealt with some of the craziest kids and have been successful at turning them around. NOt all of them, but most.
I would set him up for success. kids will do anything for attention and it sounds like this one knows how to get the NEGATIVE attentiom. YOU CAN change that for him and teach him out to get POSITIVE attention.
Catch him doing good and make BIG note of it. try to be proactive about his behavior and not always reactive. Trust me this will make a world of a difference....Comment
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One thing I have done that the kids really respond to its a color chart. Everyone starts out on green. If they misbehave and have to sit in time out, they move to yellow. They absolutely DO NOT like being on yellow. Seeing their clip moved is usually enough to stop further incidents. The chart also goes to orange and red but I hardly ever have to use those. (with the exception of one particular child) I do a daily report and write at the bottom what color they were on and why. The parents seem to like this system as well.Comment
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This is an adorable way to visualize, may have to steal that!
If this dcb is used to getting what he wants from his behavior, in his eyes, he is only doing what he needs to do to get desired results. kwim?
I would do as pp said. Praise the HECK out of EVERY SINGLE TINY good thing he does. That alone may be enough to show him what positive attention feels like and make the connection to get you the desired behavior.
At almost 5, he may need more independence and choices to feel more in control of his environment. If you could give him special big kid options (being separated with Legos, or toys with smaller pieces that the little kids cannot have but "big boys like (dcb's name) will be able to play with this since he is bigger and knows how to use big boy toys, great job dcb!"
As far as reports, do you send home a daily sheet or log of the child's day? You may want to start, or add a place on EACH form for all children at the bottom that you could have parents sign and cut off to save in the child's file to keep track of behavior. I would also ask parents to sit down and discuss the difficulties you have been having and how you would like to help him by keeping the expectations of him consistent. Same/similar rules at home as at daycare, same/similar consequences. Ask for their support to help him learn to express his feelings without hurting others. That sort of thing.
I would give it a definite time frame. Say to parents "I think this was really productive, lets re-evaluate in say, 4 weeks?"
If they aren't on board, or refuse to support you, I would probably term. You CANNOT 'save' them all.Comment
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