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my youngest daughter is going thru a hitting phase. she's 20 months. I am addressing it as best as possible and feel that it is already getting better after just a few days of consistent "no's", redirection, modeling gentle touches, and watching her like a hawk. anyway, when she does get to a kid to start swatting at them, they just stand there and cry and get whacked. these are kids at least a year older than her, sometimes a couple years older. she is by far the smallest! I have talked to them about moving back so they dont get hurt and making sure Ms.X knows that something is going on. normally i can stop it right before it happens but with 8 kids, i cant watch every one for every moment. anyway, sometimes they cry for me to come but most of the time, they just stand there and get whacked at least twice before I can intervene. I am glad they dont get aggressive back but why dont they at least move out of the way???? the 20 month old is barely walking...she's a late bloomer. she doesnt climb or run yet. the bigger kids could easily move back and help themselves a little. is this behavior strange? I have two kids specifically that do not help themselves at all when it comes to something hurting....like if they get hit by a swing, they will stand there and get hit again if I dont physically move them or stop the swing. it is like this about other similar scenarios. they dont learn the easy way or the hard way. i dont want anyone to get hurt but if i let them figure it out on their own, they just get hurt over and over. another instance is them sliding down the slide. they dont get up and move out the way at the bottom. they just sit there and get pummeled by the next several kids coming down. they cry and obviously are getting hurt....but yet they do not get out of the way! whats up with that???
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I have has several kids who do this. One of which is 27 months, and will sit in front of the slide as the others go down and hit him on their way down - and he just sits there and cries. It drives me insane.. -
I have a little boy that hits all day long. I am working with him and so are his parents but nothing is working. Hopefully its just a stage that will end VERY VERY soon.Comment
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: I have a 3.5 yo like this. He will stand behind the swing, scream "OUCH Miss. ****** the swing is HITTTING ME. OUCH!" If I tell him to move, he looks confused. I have to physically move him.
Today a dcb was pushing a car around the carpet (it has roads on it) and dcb stood in the way. Other dcb was ASKING him to please move *ram car* please MOVE *ram car* and dcb started crying at the second ram, JOHN IS HURTING ME WITH THE CAR!
I just shake my head. He also never looks up when running. really, looks at his feet. ::
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I never understood this concept. Why don't they just move????Comment
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that's what i was thinking. I think the better question is, why doesn't she stop hitting? I'm really sorry and don't want to sound like a b****, but why are you blaming the victim? I had to laugh about your slide example though. My kids do that too. It's like dominos bwahahaComment
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yeah.....that does sound witchy, not going to lie.
I am not blaming the victim but I figured someone was going to be rude and imply that. I am addressing the behavior as best as possible but like my post said, the kids that dont move from the hitting are the same kids that dont move away from other similar situations. so even when the hitting is overcome, there will be something else going on where these kids still dont watch for themselves.Comment
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Well, guess I misinterpreted your comments then because all I was reading was why didn't the person that was being hit do this or that instead of why doesn't a child stop hitting. Guess I was wrong. I have had kids that hit and kids that just stand there and take it until they have enough and clock the hitter. That pretty much stops it right then and there.Comment
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You said that these kids are a year older than your dd, maybe they feel it's wrong to swat at someone younger than them? Maybe they're just surprised. who knows. do they hit at all?Comment
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I have the same issue here. My own 2.5 year old is in a "give me space" and "leave me alone" phase. For some unknown reason, this makes the two little girls I have, same age give or take a few months, stay around him, follow him around, touch him, etc. Often times, he ends up whacking them. I obviously give him consequiences for hitting...HOWEVER, there are times I seriously can't blame him for hitting them! They just push his buttons, then cry when he retaliates. Honestly, they have it coming a lot of the time. If they would just listen and leave him alone....but, no, that would make sense.Comment
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I think it has to be hard for kids that age to figure out why all of these other kids are in their house using up their space ya know? That has to be frustrating.
Cheerfuldom is this a behavior a new one for your dd? Have you been doing daycare since she was born?Comment
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We can't do it all... sometimes, we need the kids to help. I teach the kids to use an "Angry voice" and say "NO!" or "STOP!". I don't want them to use a whimpy voice while saying "Sto-op ittt... I don't liiike that.." Seriously, the perpetual victim is not going to get anything done...so, I want them to learn to assert themselves like they mean it.
The only kids who get hit over and over in my house are the ones who choose to use a whiny voice when they say it. They might as well be saying "Keep hitting me because I have no power to stop it".
Also, this child's arms are like 12 inches long...it doesn't hurt...there's no need to cry. Just say "NO".Comment
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Well that's classic because they are somewhat weaker than the kid hitting. The kid hitting is not going to pick someone that's more aggressive than them because they know they will get their diaper kicked. Kids are very smart.
Actually I shouldn't say they're weaker necessarily but they're just not a child that hits. Doesn't make them weaker I guess.Comment
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But, these kids have known each other their whole lives, so they know it's OK to use an assertive voice. (It's not OK to hit back, but they don't ever do that)
I have had the occasional biter, and I would never dream of asking the kids to handle that on their own....but, I will coach a child to use a big voice when the babies are hitting them.
Why do only toddlers hit like that? It's like they have a switch that clicks on at 14 months, where they just walk around reaching up to hit bigger kids for no reason.Comment
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I am very lucky, I've never had a biter (knock on wood). I don't know why they hit like that. I kinda get it when it's the child that actually lives in the home like cheerfuldom's. I think that they get threatened because these kids are infringing on their "space" ya know? Doesn't make it right, but like I said initially the question is why is she doing that not so much why are the kids putting up with it. Has anything changed in the environment like are the kids sleeping in a different area than before, are they playing in or with toys that they didn't before? Or is she just being a normal toddler and hitting. I have a 20 month old boy that is fine all day and as soon as mom walks in he slaps her in teh face. I don't get that either. You wonder what is going on in their little heads.Comment
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