Separation Anxiety - 15 month old

[DCMomOf3]

I have a 15 month old and he is a great kid for the most part. He comes to me in the morning with no fussing, plays great, etc. If I am in the same room he plays with the other kids and is very happy. My problem comes when I have to leave the room for a minute to go to the kitchen or bathroom, etc. The minute I start walking out of the room he starts screaming.

I have a gate on the entrance to my playroom and he will hang on it screaming until I come back. I have tried going and coming back right away showing him I'm not far but it hasn't worked. Now he starts crying even when I just walk toward the door, but don't leave the room.

Help?

[Michael]

Some earlier threads on the subject: https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.p...ration+anxiety

[nannyde]

I have a 15 month old and he is a great kid for the most part. He comes to me in the morning with no fussing, plays great, etc. If I am in the same room he plays with the other kids and is very happy. My problem comes when I have to leave the room for a minute to go to the kitchen or bathroom, etc. The minute I start walking out of the room he starts screaming.

I have a gate on the entrance to my playroom and he will hang on it screaming until I come back. I have tried going and coming back right away showing him I'm not far but it hasn't worked. Now he starts crying even when I just walk toward the door, but don't leave the room.

Help?

You don't need help. Every time he does it say a blessing to Jesus that he's a completely normal baby. He's supposed to do that and all it is to you is a confirmation that YOU are bonded with him... he to you... which is good.

Don't make a deal of it... just give him a wink and a nod when you get back jack. You can throw in a "oh quit it ya big baby" ;-) ;-) He'll get your energy and soon enough he won't cry for you anymore.

[DCMomOf3]

You don't need help. Every time he does it say a blessing to Jesus that he's a completely normal baby. He's supposed to do that and all it is to you is a confirmation that YOU are bonded with him... he to you... which is good.

Don't make a deal of it... just give him a wink and a nod when you get back jack. You can throw in a "oh quit it ya big baby" ;-) ;-) He'll get your energy and soon enough he won't cry for you anymore.

I do hope you are right. He is starting to make the other children anxious too and I would like it to not go any farther.

[nannyde]

I do hope you are right. He is starting to make the other children anxious too and I would like it to not go any farther.

One thing though. I would never leave a baby that age up and playing while I left the room. I have a staff assistant but on the few times I have to run the show by myself I make sure I confine ALL of the kids into their beds any time I leave the play room.

I know a lot of providers do it completely differently but this is what I feel comfortable with. I feel comfortable with them being in their play pens (I have Jmason playpens that are deep and long accomodating kids up to age four) or laying down while I go out of the play room. With the way my house is set up it is the best for ME.

I never allow the older kids physical access to the babies unless one of us is within a few feet of them. I have the playroom divided into half and train the kids to stay on the side I put them on. Even with strict rules and kids that obey... I still would NOT leave them up playing when I was out of the room. Not even to go to the bathroom.

If he were in my house and I was by myself he would go into his play pen and start fussing instead of hanging on the gate and fussing. His being upset wouldn't be about me leaving the room but more him being confined.

Even though there is an adult in the room when I come and go I still have the babies this age crying when I leave the room. They cry when my staff assistant leaves the room too. It's mostly common from about nine months to about 16 months. Some do it for a while but most of them only do it for a few weeks. After that they usually get that nothing happens when we come and go. In the meantime I just tell them in a teasing voice "oh quit it".