Toileting Accidents - WWYD?

[bunnyslippers]

I have a 2.5 dcg. Her parents insist she is potty trained, and is for peeing. On Friday, she had two poop accidents. She will not go on my potty. She is in underpants, so you can imagine the mess and the cleanup required.

Today, DCD drops her off and tells me she didn't poop all weekend. I kept reminding her to go to the bathroom, and she did with no problem. A few minutes ago - another poop accident.

When I asked her why she didn'y go in the bathroom, she said she was playing and didn't want to stop. I am frustrated beyond belief. I don't know how to proceed with this. I know accidents happen, but I just feel like she knows not to have them, and does anyway (she is a smart little cookie). She is not an attention-motivated child, as she is an only child and quite spoiled.

On Friday, her mother expressed concern that she won't go poop here, as though perhaps I was doing something wrong. She insists she has no problem going anywhere else but here, although she has told me of other accidents that have happened.

What would you do? To top is all off, I just went through an entire pack of wipes cleaning her, and her parnets haven't provided any in quite a while, because she is "trained." Argh!

[Blackcat31]

It is very common for children to be 100% completely toilet trained while at home and still not at 100% at child care or elsewhere. Parents have a hard time understanding that but in reality, being at home and being at daycare are two totally different environments with sometimes two completely different expectations. I would probably start trying to use that angle when talking with parents about this.

I give parents two options when this type of situation comes up. The child can either remain in pull ups at daycare until they are 100% toilet trained here. Any accidents mean going back to pull ups until they can go again for two weeks without an accident. or....

Any time the child has an accident, the parent must come and change them and clean them up.

As far as not providing wipes, ALL my parents are required (or bill $6 per month) to provide wet wipes since we use them for a variety of things and none of them are related to toileting.

I would require the parents to either bring wipes or you can charge them for the use of them.

[Unregistered]

I have a 2.5 dcg. Her parents insist she is potty trained, and is for peeing. On Friday, she had two poop accidents. She will not go on my potty. She is in underpants, so you can imagine the mess and the cleanup required.

Today, DCD drops her off and tells me she didn't poop all weekend. I kept reminding her to go to the bathroom, and she did with no problem. A few minutes ago - another poop accident.

When I asked her why she didn'y go in the bathroom, she said she was playing and didn't want to stop. I am frustrated beyond belief. I don't know how to proceed with this. I know accidents happen, but I just feel like she knows not to have them, and does anyway (she is a smart little cookie). She is not an attention-motivated child, as she is an only child and quite spoiled.

On Friday, her mother expressed concern that she won't go poop here, as though perhaps I was doing something wrong. She insists she has no problem going anywhere else but here, although she has told me of other accidents that have happened.

What would you do? To top is all off, I just went through an entire pack of wipes cleaning her, and her parnets haven't provided any in quite a while, because she is "trained." Argh!

Is she maybe afraid to poop in the potty? My DD was afraid to poop in the potty after pee trained it took a month before she would go poop she would wait til I put her nap pull up and go in it. I diffently would not go back to diapers since she is pee trained but maybe offer her a pull up to go poop in have her go in the bathroom and use the pull up.

[countrymom]

maybe you have to physically take her to the bathroom. I have had some kids (like my ds) who had to be physically taken because he was always too busy playing.

time to call parents to come and get her if she continues to have accidents, hmm could they be bribing her.

[SunshineMama]

I have run into this before, and put my foot down that all children must be in pull ups at leasst until I decide that they are ready.

I trained some children with intervals, taking them every 45 mins, then extending it to an hour, then an hour and a half, then two (always taking them when they ask in between). That took a few months but worked.

My own dd is trained at home, but I send her to her children's day out and sunday school in pull ups because she will get distracted and trickle in her underwear and then tell someone she has to go potty to finish.

What did help me at home, was when i put a really pretty dress on her on day, and she did the 1/2 distraction trickle. i told her that she would have to remove her pretty dress bc there was pee pee on it and she flipped out, and didnt have any more accidents at home afterwards. Perhaps you could do something similar with dcg? Then it is a natural consequence, and she will be more aware not to pee pee in her pretty dress.

Another thing I do is 1 raisin for pee pee, and 2 for poo poo. They like getting "more" of anything, and I have had maybe 4-5 poop accidents in the history of potty training at my house in 2 years, including my own kids.

We also applaud potty successes. When a trainee uses the bathroom successfully, i announce it to all of the kids, everyone says "yaaaaay!" and the chld feels really special.

[momma2girls]

This is exactly why I implemented my potty training paragraph into my contract.

[MamaG]

That is so unsanitary! And exactly why they stay in diapers till they can sleep all night without an accident. They have an accident, diapers go back on for rest of the week.

[MamaG]

It is very common for children to be 100% completely toilet trained while at home and still not at 100% at child care or elsewhere. Parents have a hard time understanding that but in reality, being at home and being at daycare are two totally different environments with sometimes two completely different expectations. I would probably start trying to use that angle when talking with parents about this.

I give parents two options when this type of situation comes up. The child can either remain in pull ups at daycare until they are 100% toilet trained here. Any accidents mean going back to pull ups until they can go again for two weeks without an accident. or....

Any time the child has an accident, the parent must come and change them and clean them up.

As far as not providing wipes, ALL my parents are required (or bill $6 per month) to provide wet wipes since we use them for a variety of things and none of them are related to toileting.

I would require the parents to either bring wipes or you can charge them for the use of them.

I love this! Totally going to give the next parents these exact two options!!

[MamaG]

I also make the dck clean the mess themselves. Of corse I still have to back and do it right and sanitize the area.

[Willow]

Only child to me says that at home things are probably very quiet, calm and controlled, while at daycare there are other kids, lots of noise and loads of toys!

Of course a kiddo would have an easier time in one environment over the other, that's not your fault or the parents, it just is what it is.

Does she have any "tells?"


I've had kiddos that start looking for a place to hide/duck behind, kiddos who get squirmy, kiddos who turn red in the face, kiddos who get really quiet etc. That was always my cue to tell them it was time to try.

I'm not one to push potty training at all, but I am all for helping a child learn to listen to their own body and respond appropriately despite distractions.

[itlw8]

That is so unsanitary! And exactly why they stay in diapers till they can sleep all night without an accident. They have an accident, diapers go back on for rest of the week.

all night ??? my ds would have been in diapers until he was 13 then. Night dryness is not related to toilet training.

[MamaG]

all night ??? my ds would have been in diapers until he was 13 then. Night dryness is not related to toilet training.

Duh I'm wasn't born yesterday. So I need to type a disclaimer now?

[Twinvillageiowa]

Duh I'm wasn't born yesterday. So I need to type a disclaimer now?

The way you worded did make it sound like you wanted night dryness..... At 6 1/2 my twins are both still wet at night.

[kitykids3]

I am JUST getting over this with one of mine. As of last week. For 2-3 weeks mom kept telling me he was fully trained, but here he kept having accidents.
Just because they are trained at home or out with family or whatever, does not mean the child is at daycare. It's a different environment. I had him wear pullups/diapers for a few days more until he got it.

I love it when parents tell us things like they know it all, and then somethings 'our fault', even tho it's normal, and not that we did something wrong.