Does Daycare Affect Your Marriage/Relationship?

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  • QualiTcare
    Advanced Daycare.com Member
    • Apr 2010
    • 1502

    #31
    Originally posted by MarinaVanessa
    Oh what a poophead. My solution would be to have him stay at home with you one day and have him take your place. You can help as an assistant but have him do all of the hard work i.e. activities, food prep, cleaning, watching the toddlers etc. You can make sure he doesn't kill any of the kids, remind him if he's running behind schedule, remind him of diaper changes (he can check if they need to be changed and you can change them), point out when someone is doing something they aren't supposed to be doing etc. Then we'll see if he still thinks the same .
    good idea. my husband would talk about how i "got to stay home all day" and i could talk til i was blue in the face. nothing worked better than scheduling an appointment at a time when he was off work - so he'd have to keep JUST OUR 2 KIDS (no daycare kids). by the time i'd get home, the house would be a wreck and he would be about nuts. i'd say, "oh, whatever. it's easy. all you had to do was sit on the couch." he got the point.

    Comment

    • MarinaVanessa
      Family Childcare Home
      • Jan 2010
      • 7211

      #32
      Originally posted by QualiTcare
      by the time i'd get home, the house would be a wreck and he would be about nuts. i'd say, "oh, whatever. it's easy. all you had to do was sit on the couch." he got the point.
      :::::: Tell me about it. Like I said, my hunny is supportive of me but I ask him to do one little thing for me and he cries bloody murder and whines. Just earlier I was working on the baby shower planning ... MY BABYSHOWER mind you ... and he has not helped one bit. I ask him to get me addresses of HIS family & friends for me and after 2 weeks I ended up just going over to his moms house and asked her instead. I know where HIS buddies live and so I just wrote their names on the envelopes and will drive them over and drop them off MYSELF. I only needed 2 addresses of his buddies (I had no idea where they live) and asked him to get them for me and he began to give birth to a baby cow. He said something about why I pressure him all of the time when I have the resources to get them myself yadda yadda blah blah ... it all started to sound like when the adults talk on "Peanuts". I ended up going on his Facebook and sending them messages giving them my cell number to ask them to text me their addresses.

      He was still going at it when they started texting me and I told them all about how he had been whining and was still going and they started texting him telling him to shut up already :: Ooohweeeh! He was mad!! I left him upstairs for a time out. He came down a while later and asked me where his shirt was and I told him I was busy with babyshower stuff and that he had "the resources" to find it himself. He didn't say anything and just went back upstairs and I can hear him looking for his shirt (it's in the laundry room downstairs hanging on a hanger since I ironed it for him earlier ). I think I'll let him keep looking.

      Comment

      • melskids
        Daycare.com Member
        • Feb 2010
        • 1776

        #33
        isnt it amazing how much men whine....i think they're worse then 2 year olds

        Comment

        • MarinaVanessa
          Family Childcare Home
          • Jan 2010
          • 7211

          #34
          Originally posted by melskids
          isnt it amazing how much men whine....i think they're worse then 2 year olds
          Amazing just amazing. And let's not get started when they are sick . When I'm sick I am still expected to keep the house clean, my child clean, do my "chores" and cook. When I'm sick I have to make my own chicken soup, go out while sick to buy my own medecine etc. When HE is sick, he lays his arse on the couch and you might as well give him a bell to ring when he needs something. I cook his chicken soup, I get him medicine, I rub his head, I bring him water when he's thirsty . Men are hilarious!

          Comment

          • Chickenhauler
            Senior Member
            • Jun 2009
            • 474

            #35
            Originally posted by professionalmom
            Seriously, where and when do you guys learn about this so-called "Man Cave"? I never heard of such a thing until I married DH. He was prepping our basement for one. It was the topic of friction for a while, but we agreed he could have a "man cave" as long as he built me a "woman cave". Mine was going to be sooooo much better - jacuzzi / hot tub, soft lighting, sound proofing, incense, candles. But most importantly - NO KIDS ALLOWED!! Husband allowed by invitation only
            In my case, before the wife and kids came along, my entire home was a "man cave"....it was decorated with a motorcycle parked in the living room, ******* clock in the bathroom, beer advertising pool table lamp over the kitchen counter, and my 'art' ranged from dead stuffed animals on the wall to autographed motorcycle race posters to prints of wildlife that had not been shot yet.

            In my case, I don't want a 'man cave' in the house, I want to be able to build my big shop late next summer. 48x36 with 16' sidewalls, in floor heat, auto hoist, room to park and work on two semi's at the same time, yada yada yada.

            As for soundproofing.....no worries, it'll be over 200' from the house!

            Originally posted by GretasLittleFriends
            Ooh!! I want one!!
            You just wait your turn.......me first!
            Spouse of a daycare provider....which I guess makes me one too!

            Comment

            • jen
              Advanced Daycare.com Member
              • Sep 2009
              • 1832

              #36
              Originally posted by Chickenhauler



              You just wait your turn.......me first!

              I believe the saying is "LADIES FIRST!"

              Comment

              • Chickenhauler
                Senior Member
                • Jun 2009
                • 474

                #37
                Originally posted by jen
                I believe the saying is "LADIES FIRST!"
                She got to 'chick up' the house....heck, I only have 1/3 of the closet, and one little corner of the bedroom for anything of mine. I even lost my lazyboy to her!


                To be honest, the shop is a necessity.....I get very cranky spending 6-8 hours in the winter dressed like the Michelin Man attempting to do maintenance and upkeep on the semi in the great outdoors. Gets really old laying out there in the snow, and most big rig shops are $100 an hour for sloppy workmanship.
                Spouse of a daycare provider....which I guess makes me one too!

                Comment

                • professionalmom
                  Daycare.com Member
                  • May 2010
                  • 429

                  #38
                  Originally posted by Chickenhauler
                  She got to 'chick up' the house....heck, I only have 1/3 of the closet, and one little corner of the bedroom for anything of mine. I even lost my lazyboy to her!


                  To be honest, the shop is a necessity.....I get very cranky spending 6-8 hours in the winter dressed like the Michelin Man attempting to do maintenance and upkeep on the semi in the great outdoors. Gets really old laying out there in the snow, and most big rig shops are $100 an hour for sloppy workmanship.
                  Well, my hubby already has an office all to himself. He considers the rest of the house "mine". Ha! It's not "chicked up" at my house. It's child proofed. I finally got rid of all my nice breakable decorative things. And I have no space to go and hide. Not even the bathroom, unless I lock the door and listen to my DD whine on the other side because she is SO positive that I'm doing something fun and just not letting her join me. Maybe that's what I need - a private restroom!

                  Now your "man cave" makes sense. it wouldn't just be a "man cave", it would also be a "work cave". But didn't they used to call that a garage. Granted yours would be fancier with the heated floors and such, but isn't it still a garage? If not, please let me know the difference, because I'm just a lady who can be clueless about these "man" definitions and I'm really curious.

                  Comment

                  • jen
                    Advanced Daycare.com Member
                    • Sep 2009
                    • 1832

                    #39
                    I actually do have a bit of a girl cave...

                    We redid the master bath and put in a shower with dual shower heads and an oversized jacuzzi tub. When I wasn't using the jacuzzi much, my husband ask why...well, truthfully, I got bored in there...

                    So he hooked up a flat screen for me.

                    He really isn't so bad afterall! LOL!

                    Comment

                    • professionalmom
                      Daycare.com Member
                      • May 2010
                      • 429

                      #40
                      Originally posted by jen
                      I actually do have a bit of a girl cave...

                      We redid the master bath and put in a shower with dual shower heads and an oversized jacuzzi tub. When I wasn't using the jacuzzi much, my husband ask why...well, truthfully, I got bored in there...

                      So he hooked up a flat screen for me.

                      He really isn't so bad afterall! LOL!
                      Could you send him to my house to do some construction work for me? I like the way he thinks. But if he even thinks about putting a phone in my bathroom, I'll have to fire him.

                      Comment

                      • jen
                        Advanced Daycare.com Member
                        • Sep 2009
                        • 1832

                        #41
                        Originally posted by professionalmom
                        Could you send him to my house to do some construction work for me? I like the way he thinks. But if he even thinks about putting a phone in my bathroom, I'll have to fire him.
                        LOL...his abilities stop at the TV hanging up...we hired a contractor for the rest!

                        Ya gotta make sure you got a lock, otherwise your girl cave sort of becomes a love shack!

                        hahahahah!!!

                        Comment

                        • laundryduchess@yahoo.com
                          Senior Member
                          • Jun 2009
                          • 616

                          #42
                          wow,.. I think I would keep the daycare and toss the man. and no Im not kidding. If he isnt supportive of you in everything thats important to you,... have him set up a tent in the neighbors yard for a week. I couldnt imagine my dh not being totally supportive. counting my blessings right now.

                          Comment

                          • Chickenhauler
                            Senior Member
                            • Jun 2009
                            • 474

                            #43
                            Originally posted by professionalmom
                            Well, my hubby already has an office all to himself. He considers the rest of the house "mine". Ha! It's not "chicked up" at my house. It's child proofed. I finally got rid of all my nice breakable decorative things. And I have no space to go and hide. Not even the bathroom, unless I lock the door and listen to my DD whine on the other side because she is SO positive that I'm doing something fun and just not letting her join me. Maybe that's what I need - a private restroom!

                            Now your "man cave" makes sense. it wouldn't just be a "man cave", it would also be a "work cave". But didn't they used to call that a garage. Granted yours would be fancier with the heated floors and such, but isn't it still a garage? If not, please let me know the difference, because I'm just a lady who can be clueless about these "man" definitions and I'm really curious.
                            A garage, by classification, is adequate to park cars and light trucks (normal, runaround pu truck), along with gather every piece of clutter that never gets actually put away where it belongs (but that's another rant for another day).

                            This would be more of a shop/man cave/hideaway. I do intend on having a wifi connection out there (online service manuals, technical service bulletins, specs and exploded diagrams), along with good tunes (no more 50 cent garage sale coat hanger antenna radio for me) enough lighting to make the power meter bearings sizzle, and other goodies.


                            Did I forget to mention the beer fridge, couch, pizza oven and nuker that are mandatory equipment?
                            Spouse of a daycare provider....which I guess makes me one too!

                            Comment

                            • professionalmom
                              Daycare.com Member
                              • May 2010
                              • 429

                              #44
                              Originally posted by jen
                              LOL...his abilities stop at the TV hanging up...we hired a contractor for the rest!

                              Ya gotta make sure you got a lock, otherwise your girl cave sort of becomes a love shack!

                              hahahahah!!!
                              HA!! After the twins are born, he is not going to touch me (if he values his life) until we are both fixed. I am so done with pregnancy! I love kids and wanted 4 singletons, but having twins the 2nd time around and at age 35 and with a 2 year old - NOT FUN. I am only 5 months and look and feel like 9 months. So, no love shack until we both get the snip snip! FYI 0 I;ve heard of too many stories of 1 getting fixed and it reverses itself or something gets overlooked, etc. Not happening here - if we're both fixed, it would take an act of God.

                              Comment

                              • professionalmom
                                Daycare.com Member
                                • May 2010
                                • 429

                                #45
                                Originally posted by Chickenhauler
                                A garage, by classification, is adequate to park cars and light trucks (normal, runaround pu truck), along with gather every piece of clutter that never gets actually put away where it belongs (but that's another rant for another day).

                                This would be more of a shop/man cave/hideaway. I do intend on having a wifi connection out there (online service manuals, technical service bulletins, specs and exploded diagrams), along with good tunes (no more 50 cent garage sale coat hanger antenna radio for me) enough lighting to make the power meter bearings sizzle, and other goodies.


                                Did I forget to mention the beer fridge, couch, pizza oven and nuker that are mandatory equipment?
                                Ok, your wife is going to strangle me for giving you ideas. I have a cousin who works in plumbing. He actually bought a urinal for his garage/man cave. He said that way he could drink his beer and not have to bother his wife in the house.

                                I always thought "man caves" were more like a bar / game room / theater room. I guess they come in many shapes and sizes. I respect your type a lot more than many others I've heard about. Good luck!

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