Tweet
Ok so my husband is just not very supportive of me running a daycare in our home. We have a 4 bedroom 2 bathroom house and it is just him and I. I use the front 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom for daycare and the dining room is where they eat and they watch tv in our living room. Our house is always clean and does NOT look like a daycare because I can close the doors on the daycare rooms. But he is always making comments about how he can't come home and play Call of Duty or how it's too loud or it smells like poopy diapers.... the list goes ON! I make pretty good money and contribute A LOT to our bills and he definitely doesn't have a problem with that. It's causing a lot of stress and strain on our relationship. He is always telling me to get a different job but I won't make what I do running the daycare and I have a lot of debt so I don't think that's a wise choice. And I enjoy what I do! Does anyone else's significant other give them grief at all? Or is my husband just a jerk? I'm just so tired of arguing!!
-
-
that sux. tell him to get another job so he isn't there when it's daycare hours.
just kidding. sort of. -
Ok really!! I don't knowhow to even respond.... It's not like you just opened your doors and said daycares open, he did know and agreed to it!!!
I think he's selfish; tell him to grow up!!Comment
-
Tell him to go outside and play!
Seriously....you said you have 4BR's, and two of them are used for daycare. Couldn't he set up a TV and his video game system and a lazy-boy in the 3rd BR? Give him free reign of that extra BR to make himself a "man cave" where he can hibernate away from the rugrats when he wants to. TV, video games, lazy boy, bar light, dogs playing poker on velvet, etc.
You've got half the house for your business and it's associated uses, I'd bet he's feeling like he's being pushed out a bit. Me, I got the shop to hide in when the tricycle motors get to much to handle.
Being guy who's wife does daycare, about the only thing I complain about is the toys, toys toys scattered all over. Part of the problem is our own kids are playing with the DC kids, and the DC kids get picked up, and it dawns on us that our living room looks like it was the victim of a tragic bombing of a toys for tots storage trailer.
That's about my only pet peeve, just getting the debris picked up. The rest of it is small stuff.Spouse of a daycare provider....which I guess makes me one too!
Comment
-
Is he home during daycare hours?Comment
-
No, he's in the military so he's not home during the day. Sometimes he gets off early and will be home for the last hour or two of kids. I just don't get it. He does say he just feels like this isn't even his house anymore but it really is 1/2 daycare and 1/2 ours. I just don't know what to do to make things better. If he had it his way it would be not doing daycare but I want to do this and I won't give it up for the way he is being.Comment
-
Sorry, I hate to say he is jerk because he should have support you no matter what since you love what you do.Comment
-
Yes and it ****s. We have a 6br/3 ba house with a full basement. The basement is for the daycare and on the 1st floor we use the kitchen for lunch and the bathroom, that's it... But when the parents pick up, they come in through the front door so we (me and all the kids) hang out on the 1st floor for about the last 30min of the day... And my husband drives me nuts!! We have a bedroom that we set up as a family room with the TV and sofa, so he will watch tv there. He insists on having the volume loud and watching things that like horror movies or playing loud video games. Or he comes out where the kids are and starts to comment on how messy the house is or how it's so loud... I had a bad day today, so this feels good to vent LOL! Honestly, it's easier when he is out at work or out running errands. When he is home he stresses me out and I swear the kids pick up on it because they just tend to act out more...
<<Hugs>> I feel your painComment
-
I second the "man cave" idea. That's what my husband does. He comes home and plays computer or playstation games in the cave, naps, or plays with our children in our bedroom until the daycare kids leave. We used to have problems when I kept kids late and when he worked jobs that he'd have some weekdays as his days off, but now that most kids are gone by 4 and both of our schedules are M-F it's a lot better. Minimal husband/daycare overlap = less irritated hubby who's worked a hard day too.Comment
-
My hubby supports it, but he works the weekend, so he's home 3 days during the week. I appreciate the help, but I told him today, stop coming in at the way wrong time needing something! I'm cooking lunch for 6 kids, and my 5 month old is crying. Well, he comes in asking me something about finances, I'm like get out! Then we had craft time, I'm trying to concentrate get crayons out of 1 yr old mouth, help draw, etc, and he comes in asking another q. I'm trying to work out the kinks in the daily schedule and exactly what he needs to do to help vs. make it worse!
Comment
-
Tell him to GROW UP! This isn't HIS house, it's "OUR" house (yours and his). He knew this going in. Plus, you are supporting HIS career choice, so he needs to MAN UP and support yours. Also, if the house was bought with this intended purpose, then tell him fine, you'll shut down the daycare and lose all your income, but you'll have to sell the house and get one 1/2 the size.
Ditto. And if mama isn't happy, NO BODY'S happy. (Which is rare). I am slow to get riled up, but once I'm there, watch out. Happy mommy = happy home!
Seriously, where and when do you guys learn about this so-called "Man Cave"? I never heard of such a thing until I married DH. He was prepping our basement for one. It was the topic of friction for a while, but we agreed he could have a "man cave" as long as he built me a "woman cave". Mine was going to be sooooo much better - jacuzzi / hot tub, soft lighting, sound proofing, incense, candles. But most importantly - NO KIDS ALLOWED!! Husband allowed by invitation only
Comment
-
I have to say that if my hunny didn't support me doing daycare 100% I would NOT have done it. I think the strain would be awful. Not only do you have the stress of daycare kids during the day and then have to deal with parent issues but now you also have to deal with your hunny's whining? Oh you poor thing
. And believe me, I've heard my hunny whine and I would rather hear 6 six whine all day that hear him and I'm sure you feels the same. He's supposed to be your rock, your outlet, the person you go to after a long day. <<<HUGS>>>
I think you need to give him two options, he either deals with it and appreciate the hard work you do OR he lets you quit and takes a second (or 3rd) job to cover what you make in daycare
.
Comment
-
I think he needs to be way more appreciative of you and the fact that you contribute so much. It doesn't seem fair for him to be unsupportive when I'm sure he had plenty of time to adjust to the idea of a daycare and all that entails. Why didn't he voice his opinion before you put all the time and money into your business? I'm sorry- that ****s for you. I can't really relate because my hubby grew up with his mom doing daycare, so he's very used to all this. Sometimes I think he handles all the chaos better than me! Tell him your concerns and if you need to, show him all the posts on here telling him to knock it off! Good Luck hon! Hope everyhing turns out okay!~Everything happens for a reason~
Comment
-
i just quit keeping kids a month or so ago, and before i started doing daycare, i had always worked outside the home.
my husband does manual labor in the scalding heat, so i would get the, "i don't get to stay home all day." i KNOW!! as if i was eating bon bons!
it pissed me off, but then again - the reason i'm not doing daycare anymore is because i DID feel like i was stuck at home all day and i didn't want to be. even though i was making money, i just don't feel productive and apparently he didn't think so either. i think him knowing how i felt about it kind of fueled his fire, but still.
you said your husband comes home during the last hour or so of daycare - probably when it's slow (a lot of kids have gone home) and he doesn't see how much you actually do. maybe he's jealous! i swear i sometimes thought my husband was jealous cus i made so much money without leaving the house.
either way, i'd tell him to get over it! i personally stopped doing daycare because i have a NEED to work outside the home. if it was my calling to do daycare, i'd expect my husband to support that 100% or i'd tell him where to shove his video games.Comment
Comment