Update on lunch situation

[daycarediva]

So my normally great group, that goes berserk during lunch are now getting a re-vamped menu of pre cooked(by me), prepackaged (by me), meals. Takes 5 minutes, best idea ever. 5 out of my 6 have adjusted fine. Whining gone, wonky behavior gone, back to zero aggression, etc.

EXCEPT the 1 that now screams bloody murder from the time we come inside, and all the way through our pre-lunch routine. (Put winter gear off/away, potty, diaper changes, wash faces and hands and sit at the table. I then take lunch out of the oven, (that my dh usually puts in, too!) , toss it on plates, add anything cold (pre cut/ready) and the second the first tray hits the table-he just stops.


WHAT THE ?!? WHY?!?! He was one of the better behaved children during the previous routine!

I swear, I can't win!

He's almost 2 1/2, and the entire rest of the day is a dream with him, and I really feel terrible that he is SO upset.

I have already tried giving him (and everyone, of course ) the cold part of their meal first. He cried until the trays were set.

Grandma watches him every other Saturday and he does the same thing there BUT not at home with Mom or Dad. I tried eating outside, same thing.

I would say that I think he is having a hard time with the transition from FUN outdoor time, to not wanting to eat lunch, BUT he also happens to be the kid begging to come in and asking for food, too.

The only other time he has EVER cried during my care is when he was hurt, or when Mom dropped off the first few weeks.

Any advice to make his day (and mine!) smoother would be great!

[Lucy]

Could he be your "helper"? Put silverware on the table, or napkins maybe? Maybe let him decide where each kid sits (unless you have regular assigned seats). I'm sure you don't want him in the kitchen with you, but is there a way he could put the cold items on the trays?

What I'm getting at is to keep him busy "helping" so that the transition time goes faster for him and he isn't just sitting around thinking about waiting. It would also make him feel important. And hopefully he'll get bored of it after 2 or 3 weeks.

The downside is that once you start, the other kids might be jealous and want their turn, and you could be opening up a whole new problem! So I don't know.... that was just the thought off the top of my head!

[Heidi]

If Lucy's idea doesn't work or isn't feasible, I'd go to tough love:

"DCB, that whining hurts our ears. If you are going to whine, you need to go sit here___________ (furthest point away from everyone, soft spot if possible). When you are done, we would love to have you join us at the table".

I have a 14 month old that sometimes does this as I am serving up lunch, and I do that with him. I put him in the playroom (gated). He really doesn't do it very often anymore (vs every day before) because he knows now that it won't get him anywhere. He typically "forgets" after he's been gone for a few days and slips back into the "FEED ME SEYMOUR" routine.

Honestly, it's one of those thing were even if your little dcb doesn't "get" it right away, he will not be traumatized because he had to cry for 5 minutes. The other children (and you!) have a right not to listen to that, too, IMO.

[daycarediva]

Could he be your "helper"? Put silverware on the table, or napkins maybe? Maybe let him decide where each kid sits (unless you have regular assigned seats). I'm sure you don't want him in the kitchen with you, but is there a way he could put the cold items on the trays?

What I'm getting at is to keep him busy "helping" so that the transition time goes faster for him and he isn't just sitting around thinking about waiting. It would also make him feel important. And hopefully he'll get bored of it after 2 or 3 weeks.

The downside is that once you start, the other kids might be jealous and want their turn, and you could be opening up a whole new problem! So I don't know.... that was just the thought off the top of my head!

We already do this, with all the kids. We take turns washing hands and I hand the first couple done washcloths to start washing the table, the next two paper towels to dry it, then they set napkins, cups, forks (and it's all color coordinated so the 2yo's have colors down PAT.) But this little guy sobs uncontrollably from the second we hit the back deck until the second ALL of the food is in the plate.

Today the crying started in the backyard after my countdown ended.

[daycarediva]

If Lucy's idea doesn't work or isn't feasible, I'd go to tough love:

"DCB, that whining hurts our ears. If you are going to whine, you need to go sit here___________ (furthest point away from everyone, soft spot if possible). When you are done, we would love to have you join us at the table".

I have a 14 month old that sometimes does this as I am serving up lunch, and I do that with him. I put him in the playroom (gated). He really doesn't do it very often anymore (vs every day before) because he knows now that it won't get him anywhere. He typically "forgets" after he's been gone for a few days and slips back into the "FEED ME SEYMOUR" routine.

Honestly, it's one of those thing were even if your little dcb doesn't "get" it right away, he will not be traumatized because he had to cry for 5 minutes. The other children (and you!) have a right not to listen to that, too, IMO.

Hmm, I have been gently reassuring him and offering the above options, which only makes him scream louder. I can't imagine how upset he must be to be causing himself to gag. Our whole routine takes about 30 minutes and I rush it as much as possible. I will try giving him a quiet spot where I can see him and giving him his pillow and blanket.

Oh, and he now avoids the dining room area and we use that because it's a large room for indoor 'recess' when needed so I am DREADING the next bad weather day.