Had About Enough

[dave4him]

Im getting tired of bashing around when i share my thoughts or feelings here. Seems like there is always someone out to get me or judge or bash. I love my family more than anything, even my inlaws, otherwise i wouldt care so much about the issues when they come up. NOt sure i want to keep coming around here when people just want to sling mud

[seebachers]

Yeah....why can't we come here to get support without taking a beating? It should be a place of comfort and a place to vent without having to take cover from all the mudslinging. I don't always agree with what others do or have to say. I've had to bit my tongue a few times because I am not sure how to respond without hurting someone's feelings. I don't always do a good job but I don't go all out and try to slam someone's opinion on here.

I think it would behoove all of us to take a moment and think before we post on here. Differing opinnions can be expressed without taking someone down.

I am sorry that you have been hurt and I hope that you continue to come here for support, but I can totally see why it would be difficult now.

[HappyHearts]

I'm so sorry you feel this way Dave.

The internet and social media is a crazy thing sometimes. We can't see the expressions of ones face when they are communicating to us, we can't see their emotions. All we have is the written word to interpret what they mean. Although it is pretty clear (to me) in a few threads here that some not so nice things have been said.

With that said, you have to realize it is the nature of the internet. When you put yourself out there on a public forum, for all to see, unfortunately you have to be able to take the good with the bad. Just ignore any 'not so nice' comments.

I am a member of several forums (not childcare related) and admin 2 of them. So I have seen quite alot of crazy things being said and done on the internet. You just need to try not to let these people and their comments bother you.

Hang in there Dave. I haven't been here all that long, and I read more then I comment, and you seem like a pretty good stand up guy. I hope you stick around.

[Blackcat31]

I am sorry Dave.

I can't and won't make excuses for anyone but I do want you to know you do have options.

You can place members that you may not always agree with or members you don't want feedback from on your ignore list. You can do that using the User CP area in the top left side of the screen and then under Settings and Options.

That way you won't see any of their responses to you or any posts they make to others. It is a nice way to filter the posts on this site to your personal preferances.

You can also just ignore them and still be able to read their posts and replies to you and to others. The words and feedback may not always be what you want to hear or may even be aimed at you but you can still choose to simply not respond to them.

That option takes a bit more backbone and a bit of a thicker skin but it is still an option.

If you feel that a specific poster is really going out of their way to flame you or be outright rude for no apparent reason, you can always PM a moderator or Michael and I am sure the matter will be addressed.

I can't choose which, if any option is right for you but that is the only advice I can give since this is a public forum and as an adult we know that not everyone is ever going to always agree with you and offer support.

Sometimes people feel better if they pick on others or if they are always negative. I don't know why they do it and I won't even guess....I just know it takes all kinds to make the world go round.

I have no idea what in particular made you start this thread as I haven't read any other threads or posts this evening so I am NOT aiming this at anyone's behavior at all. I just wanted to respond to Dave that there ARE options.

I think when members get frustrated and leave the forum, it doesn't really help anyone. The only thing it does is stop you (frustrated member) from continuing to learn, stops them from seeing other perspectives, and gives them no place to sound off and get feedback for ideas, frustrations and vents.

When you get frustrated by another member, leaving is NOT a productive solution at all. It robs the members who do appreciate your input to hear your feedback and opinions and that isn't really fair...kwim?

So before you decide to log out for good, why not count the number of members here who are always supportive of you and your opinion and see how many of those make it worth staying?

Seems kinda sad to let a few ruin it for you. Especially when there are twice as many rooting for you. :confused:

[Sugar Magnolia]

Dave, in your thread "sigh", someone said some harsh things about your wife, I can see why you would be upset. But a couple of us jumped in to defend her. I also read through your "tips for romance" thread and saw nothing but well meaning and thoughtful replies. Many of us here do admire you, respect you and support you as best we can. We all get bashed every now and then. I hope you stay, I life your opinions, I like your posts, I like you.happyface

[SquirrellyMama]

You can also just let people know you are venting and aren't looking for solutions. That sometimes helps people not make extra comments.

IRL, if I have a friend that keeps complaining about the same thing over and over I'm usually going to start offering up suggestions.

You also have to remember that the internet doesn't do a good job of conveying emotions, either way. Things can be taken wrong because we can't see the other person saying it. There is no body language or change in tone of voice to help others along.

I'm terrible about writing super short posts that often get me in trouble. I know what I'm thinking but it doesn't transfer to the internet well.

K

[Bookworm]

Hang in there Dave. There aren't many men in career and I really enjoy reading things from a male perspective.

[Sunchimes]

Dave, I didn't see the thread that upset you, and I'm sorry. I hope I would have jumped in to help.

Personally, I think you offer an interesting perspective here. The only view we get is that of our husbands, and it isn't usually the same thing as someone who is in the trenches the way we are-no matter how helpful the husbands might be. (I do realize that some have husbands who work beside them, which I think is wonderful!)

You've got a tough row to hoe right now-I know that day care was not a career choice or a life dream. But, lots of people are having it tough right now-even more than you and your wife. It's impressive that you found work that is filling a need right now, figured out how to do it, and even though it isn't perfect, you are hanging in there.

I gather that much of your problem comes from worrying about your wife more than yourself. I've been married a long, long time, and I know that that is more stressful than worrying about yourself. You guys just keep talking to each other and keep propping each other up. I know it seems difficult, but make each other a priority at some point every single day. You can get through this! Do as Blackcat said and filter out the problems here, and keep coming to us for back up when you wobble.

[Meeko]

I'm a fan! Chin up Dave and don't let the naysayers get you down

[mom2many]

I always enjoy reading your posts and hearing your perspective and must have missed what was said to cause you to start this thread. Don't let them get to you! You have a lot to offer to this forum and I enjoy your wit & humor too!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I'm not sure what post(s) you are referring to, but I really enjoy reading your perspective on things! happyface I hope you choose to stick around.

The only other male opinion I get is my husband's since he works with me. I need male opinions. They keep me centered. Maybe I need to have him sign up here so that you have another amigo. ::

[Country Kids]

Dave, I can only recall maybe one post that upset you out of all you have posted.

We are here for support and sometimes what someones says is in their mind what they think you need to hear. You also can't see their emotion behind it.

It sounds like you have alot of things going on with your life and need someone to really talk to. Is there someone in your church that you could very honestly talk to and get this out. Maybe in all honesty, this isn't the bes road for you and with the help of a church family maybe they could help you find the right road. Believe me, most people want to be home with their kids but aren't always cut out to be home with other peoples children.

Have a good rest of the weekend even though you are at your second job.

[dave4him]

I appreciate you ladies helps to have a support system that doesn't know me in real life. We all have off days, but I'm feeling good now