Opinions On My Current Situation

[cheerfuldom]

I currently have three children (a 4 year old in part time kinder and a 3 year old and a 17 month old). I am due in Nov with my fourth child.

I have five daycare children:

A full time 7 month old
A full time 2 year old
A part time 2 year old
A part time 3 year old
A part time 3 year old

*the part timers are not all here at the same time!

I had interviewed with someone in my neighborhood in the past and while we meshed fairly well, the mom was concerned about the number of children I have of my own plus the daycare kids. A legitimate concern. I interviewed her several months ago so the kids I have now where not the kids I had then. Anyway, she said she was going to look into hiring a nanny. I personally felt her expectations too high and her budget too low to hire a nanny but I wished her well and that was that. I have seen her several times since then and she has always been very nice in every way.

Fast forward and now she has gone thru her nanny search and has not found any nannies or daycare centers that can meet her budget, let alone any of her other "must haves" which were mainly low ratio and willing to cloth diaper. Now she has come back to see if I still have openings or if I know of anyone who does. IF I was to accept them into care, I would let go of all my part timers because I am only allowed four kids here at a time (it would be my two current full timers plus her two kids....a 3 year old and an infant). The 3 year old would start immediately, then she would have a maternity leave, and the infant would start sometime after the new year. I havent asked for all the details on that because I dont want to get her hopes up. But she has said she is willing to pay to hold a spot for her infant if need be so obviously she has gotten a huge dose of reality from her past daycare search.

So here are my concerns...

I would have to let go of three part timers in order to take her two full timers...scary prospect for me to do such a huge change! Plus I would dread that discussion with each of the part time families. I feel ill just thinking of that....one of the 3 year olds has been with me since she was a newborn!

My fourth child and her infant would be very close in age.....about a month apart. I have taken two infants before but as you all know, its a lot of infant care and I am concerned about not having the time to spend with the older kids.

What if I term the three families and then this other new family still doesnt work out? It is very challenging to find daycare families, which is why I started taking part timers. Additionally, most people are looking for spots for infants....again, not my first choice. I am very worried about terming families I do know for a family I havent worked with yet....even though the new family hours are better, with less kids and my full time families pay for my vacation and whatnot....the part timers do not pay for holidays or vacation time.

[Sunchimes]

If you are happy with your part time kids, they all mesh together well and get along, if the families are a good fit, and if your finances are working, I'd tell her I wasn't interested. Sort of a "don't fix what ain't broke" think.

On the other hand, if my part time kids were difficult, I needed more money, or I didn't like my pt families, I'd, well, I'd probably still turn her down. She sounds too high maintenance for me.

[daycare]

I currently have three children (a 4 year old in part time kinder and a 3 year old and a 17 month old). I am due in Nov with my fourth child.

I have five daycare children:

A full time 7 month old
A full time 2 year old
A part time 2 year old
A part time 3 year old
A part time 3 year old

*the part timers are not all here at the same time!

I had interviewed with someone in my neighborhood in the past and while we meshed fairly well, the mom was concerned about the number of children I have of my own plus the daycare kids. A legitimate concern. I interviewed her several months ago so the kids I have now where not the kids I had then. Anyway, she said she was going to look into hiring a nanny. I personally felt her expectations too high and her budget too low to hire a nanny but I wished her well and that was that. I have seen her several times since then and she has always been very nice in every way.

Fast forward and now she has gone thru her nanny search and has not found any nannies or daycare centers that can meet her budget, let alone any of her other "must haves" which were mainly low ratio and willing to cloth diaper. Now she has come back to see if I still have openings or if I know of anyone who does. IF I was to accept them into care, I would let go of all my part timers because I am only allowed four kids here at a time (it would be my two current full timers plus her two kids....a 3 year old and an infant). The 3 year old would start immediately, then she would have a maternity leave, and the infant would start sometime after the new year. I havent asked for all the details on that because I dont want to get her hopes up. But she has said she is willing to pay to hold a spot for her infant if need be so obviously she has gotten a huge dose of reality from her past daycare search.

So here are my concerns...

I would have to let go of three part timers in order to take her two full timers...scary prospect for me to do such a huge change! Plus I would dread that discussion with each of the part time families. I feel ill just thinking of that....one of the 3 year olds has been with me since she was a newborn!

My fourth child and her infant would be very close in age.....about a month apart. I have taken two infants before but as you all know, its a lot of infant care and I am concerned about not having the time to spend with the older kids.

What if I term the three families and then this other new family still doesnt work out? It is very challenging to find daycare families, which is why I started taking part timers. Additionally, most people are looking for spots for infants....again, not my first choice. I am very worried about terming families I do know for a family I havent worked with yet....even though the new family hours are better, with less kids and my full time families pay for my vacation and whatnot....the part timers do not pay for holidays or vacation time.

if this were my situation, I do not think that I would take on a family who has already made it clear that they were not a fit for you, looked all over and realized that well I guess now I have to settle for this, because it is the closet to what I want.

One thing that you also have to look at, is that if this HIGH MAINTENANCE family does not work out, then you are out two full time incomes.

Is there anyway that you could get your part timers to change days so that they don't leave openings in your weekly schedule?

For example, have one PT family attend Tue-Thur and the other be the opposite of those days, therefore filling one full time spot. I think that I would try that first before asking them to leave and take another family.

[seebachers]

i'm just afraid that just as soon as she found the "right" person, she'd show you the door faster than lightning. I agree....too high maintenance

[cheerfuldom]

two of the part timers already have a good schedule...one comes M-W, the other comes Th-F so that is like a full timer.

BUT I dont charge my part timers for holidays or vacation....that is just the way it is done in my area so I would be making more by taking an official full time child

as for her daycare search, I really think that she did not realize what she was needing and her budget. I was the first person she talked to way back when so at the time, yes, my contract was overwhelming to her as was my rate and ratio. Now reality has set in that she needs two spots within her budget and it must be an in home daycare.....I dont know if it is settling so much as her seeing the reality of the situation. I guess I wouldnt really call that high maintenance because she never had a problem with any of my other policies. Like many parents, she thought she could get a nanny at teen babysitter wages.

[daycare]

i'm just afraid that just as soon as she found the "right" person, she'd show you the door faster than lightning. I agree....too high maintenance

Ditto this!!!!

And I agree, if it's not broke don't fix it......Unless you really need to money..

[cheerfuldom]

thanks for the input so far

as for "if it ain't broke, don't fix it"....the part timers are not an ideal situation. I am dealing with three families on various schedules and right now, various rates (all close but not the same). I was going to do my best to streamline all this come new year because I just dont have the energy right now to redo contracts and deal with possible parent whining.

The parents overall are okay although one of the moms does not communicate well and is always complaining (not about the daycare...just her life in general). The kids are overall okay but one of them is special needs (about a year delayed so yes, it is more work for me) and another is really undersocialized and needing a lot of TLC right now.

Its all doable for right now, I have certainly had worse families, but its not so ideal that I wouldnt mind rocking the boat for more money BUT my big worry is that this new family wont work out and I will be left high and dry!!

[daycare]

thanks for the input so far

as for "if it ain't broke, don't fix it"....the part timers are not an ideal situation. I am dealing with three families on various schedules and right now, various rates (all close but not the same). I was going to do my best to streamline all this come new year because I just dont have the energy right now to redo contracts and deal with possible parent whining.

The parents overall are okay although one of the moms does not communicate well and is always complaining (not about the daycare...just her life in general). The kids are overall okay but one of them is special needs (about a year delayed so yes, it is more work for me) and another is really undersocialized and needing a lot of TLC right now.

Its all doable for right now, I have certainly had worse families, but its not so ideal that I wouldnt mind rocking the boat for more money BUT my big worry is that this new family wont work out and I will be left high and dry!!

if this is what you think would work, then I say do it... We all have to take chances, as we never know what the future holds with daycare families.

I think that if you are not happy in your current situation and want to have change, then this sounds like it would work well for you. I always have the outlook that we always have to be prepared for any family to leave at any time. This would be no different.

[Scout]

I think if you get upset just thinking of terming these fsmilies, there is your answer. If there were problems worth terming over you probably would have done so, right? Keep it as is & have peace of mind that you didn't put anyone out to risk a dcf that has already expressed disinterest.

[Soccermom]

I currently have three children (a 4 year old in part time kinder and a 3 year old and a 17 month old). I am due in Nov with my fourth child.

I have five daycare children:

A full time 7 month old
A full time 2 year old
A part time 2 year old
A part time 3 year old
A part time 3 year old

*the part timers are not all here at the same time!

I had interviewed with someone in my neighborhood in the past and while we meshed fairly well, the mom was concerned about the number of children I have of my own plus the daycare kids. A legitimate concern. I interviewed her several months ago so the kids I have now where not the kids I had then. Anyway, she said she was going to look into hiring a nanny. I personally felt her expectations too high and her budget too low to hire a nanny but I wished her well and that was that. I have seen her several times since then and she has always been very nice in every way.

Fast forward and now she has gone thru her nanny search and has not found any nannies or daycare centers that can meet her budget, let alone any of her other "must haves" which were mainly low ratio and willing to cloth diaper. Now she has come back to see if I still have openings or if I know of anyone who does. IF I was to accept them into care, I would let go of all my part timers because I am only allowed four kids here at a time (it would be my two current full timers plus her two kids....a 3 year old and an infant). The 3 year old would start immediately, then she would have a maternity leave, and the infant would start sometime after the new year. I havent asked for all the details on that because I dont want to get her hopes up. But she has said she is willing to pay to hold a spot for her infant if need be so obviously she has gotten a huge dose of reality from her past daycare search.

So here are my concerns...

I would have to let go of three part timers in order to take her two full timers...scary prospect for me to do such a huge change! Plus I would dread that discussion with each of the part time families. I feel ill just thinking of that....one of the 3 year olds has been with me since she was a newborn!

My fourth child and her infant would be very close in age.....about a month apart. I have taken two infants before but as you all know, its a lot of infant care and I am concerned about not having the time to spend with the older kids.

What if I term the three families and then this other new family still doesnt work out? It is very challenging to find daycare families, which is why I started taking part timers. Additionally, most people are looking for spots for infants....again, not my first choice. I am very worried about terming families I do know for a family I havent worked with yet....even though the new family hours are better, with less kids and my full time families pay for my vacation and whatnot....the part timers do not pay for holidays or vacation time.

I think since you are expecting a little bundle of joy soon you should keep things the way you have them now.
These little ones are used to you and you are used to taking care of them. With a new baby, it may be hard to juggle new DCKS and taking care of your own brand new little angel.
If you are happy and the DCKS are good, I wouldn't change a thing.
If things don't work out with the new DCF you are losing all that income and would have to search for new DCFS in the midst of caring for a new baby and like you mentionned it is rare to get a call for a spot for a 2-4 year old. Most are already settled into care by age 1 and unless there are major issues, they stay there until they age out. Chances are if things don't work out with the 1 DCF you will have a hard time replacing them with preschoolers.
Just my opinion but I am big on the whole, if it ain't broke don't fix it motto

[Lilbutterflie]

I think the 3 part timers is still the way to go. She seems like the type of person who WILL leave if she thinks she has found a better fit. She'll drop you in a heart beat- even after paying the holding fee for the infant. I would not feel secure at all letting go of 3 part timers for one full time family of 2.

Besides that- you would have 2 newborns in addition to your toddler/preschool group. That is a LOT more work than your current group IMO! Mix that up with getting a lot less sleep because one of the infants is your own- that is a recipe for permanent BURN OUT!

[countrymom]

don't do it. My 4th child was a needy one. She wanted to be held all the time (which was fine because I'm at home and can do it) I think that she's going to leave as soon as she finds someone cheaper. I also wouldn't do cloth diapers. I like my pt kids, it changes the pace here and the kids don't get bored with the same playmates everyday.

[littlemissmuffet]

I would never risk taking this parent on. Especially while expecting in a month! I say keep things as they are, the kids and schedule you are used to - at least until you and your own new little one are into a routine.

I am a risk taker by nature - but in this case, I feel the mother would just end up screwing you over!

[cheerfuldom]

an update.....

(and BTW, I dont have a problem taking a child to be cloth diapered...I cloth diaper my own kids)

I have discussed a number of options with the prospective DCM. She is flexible to start BOTH her children in late Jan AFTER her maternity leave. That would mean that my own infant would be two/three months old and I would have had time to adjust to his needs and there would be no further transition of kids until months from now. Additionally, I wouldnt be starting any kids right before or right after my maternity leave, which of course I wasnt wanting to do anyway. This will also give me time to give my part time families plenty of notice (but not too much where there is a mass exodus at an inconvenient time for me). I have sent her an updated contract and we will possibly be interviewing again soon. Of the things we have already discussed, she has not tried to negotiate or get any special treatment....a good sign so far. My main change to the contract was that she must provide a four weeks paid notice if they were to leave instead of my usual two weeks and this would allow extra time to fill two spots instead of one.

I appreciate all the feedback but the more I think about it, the more this would work out better for me

*we are having a lot of traffic to our house with the five kids total and one of the kids coming on a preschool bus. no one has complained about it so far but it is a annoying, even just for my own husband. I would go down to three cars coming and going, versus five and the bus.

*one of the part timers was someone I will not be sorry to see go. kiddo is having a really tough transition and while things are better, I dont see them every being smooth or easy.

*another part timer is special needs and while I literally love this child, she is demanding in her own way and it would be a relief of sorts to not have to cater so much to her. For instance, she is 3 but not able to spoon feed unless the food item was very thick. So I am still spoon feeding her at times because of her physical delays. All these small things towards her care really do add up!

*all of the part timer parents have repeatedly asked for "special" treatments and extras lately. No one had been too dramatic about receiving a no from me but the constant barrage of requests and excuses does wear on me. It would be easier for me to say no to three parents instead of five.

*the full time schedules are so predictable. I would rather have kids here more but on a consistent basis then less. really none of my part timers are consistent about drop off and pickup times but they do stay within the times allowed. still, it would be easier for me to not have so much random coming and going

*the new family of two full timers would be contracted to pickup earlier than any of my part timers. I would only have one child here after 5pm!

*i would make more money after this transition. I was planning on trying to get some full time kids in here anyway, come spring....so this will move things up faster but in a good way.

as you can see, the part time situation was working for now but its not so ideal that I would be willing to keep them no matter what. No, none of the current issues are "term worthy" but that doesnt mean they are ideal either. I am definitely open to talking with this mom and possibly taking a chance on her.

thanks to everyone for helping me think this thru and see some things that have helped me decide what to do so far.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

If you are happy with your part time kids, they all mesh together well and get along, if the families are a good fit, and if your finances are working, I'd tell her I wasn't interested. Sort of a "don't fix what ain't broke" think.

On the other hand, if my part time kids were difficult, I needed more money, or I didn't like my pt families, I'd, well, I'd probably still turn her down. She sounds too high maintenance for me.

This is exactly what I thought about while reading your post.