Has Anyone Had To Term A Nice Family Because They Wouldn't Take No For An Answer?

[MaritimeMummy]

...because the parents kept broaching the subject of doing "extra hours" outside of daycare hours and you were tired of going around in circles?

This is about the third time since she started with me in March that she's asked me if I could keep her daughter outside of my 7am to 6pm window, consistently, to accommodate her struggling business. She's even asked me for overnight care at one point. Not just to do it one time, but frequently. I am sure that had nothing to do with her business but she just wants to go out and party...

I do NOT do overnight care, evening care, or weekend care. I say in my contract that I can do emergency care or a "date night" once a month outside of my normal business hours for $10 an hour. But nothing on a regular basis, and only if I am available. Since I am not available most evenings and weekends due to being with my family, and she knows this, I don't know why it keeps becoming an issue. I am getting extremely uncomfortable with her asking me to do this. It was discussed during the interview that if they want to go see a movie maybe once a month I could accommodate that ONLY ON MY SCHEDULE. I mean really, asking once should be enough. I'm beginning to get extremely fed up with her asking. Sure, I say no each time, and I am diplomatic about it, but I have stressed to her many times that my husband is gone 15 hours a day, he appreciates having alone time with his kids during supper and their bed time, and then down time after they go to bed.

Honestly, I should not have to continually remind her that I don't provide that kind of care. Just getting frustrated with constantly hearing the same sob story during drop off time, with her trying to talk to me for half an hour about it while I keep trying to end the conversation and leave to attend to the kids.

Problem is that other than constantly pestering me about evening and weekend care, they are a perfectly lovely family and her daughter has adjusted so well here.

For the record, the last time DCM asked me to do this, I specifically said, "No, I don't provide that kind of care. If you need that kind of care, I could refer you to a very nice teenager for babysitting". I think she thinks that if she asks me enough, she will wear me down and I'll eventually say yes.

Is this a term-able issue? I'm just so fed up with going around in circles.

[lovemykidstoo]

You did what I would have suggested and offered to give her a babysitters number. I guess if she is so rude to keep asking, then don't be worried about being blunt with her and just tell her. Look DCM, I feel really bad telling you everytime you ask that I cannot do it. I'm sorry, but it makes me feel bad when you keep asking because it's not something I do. Seriously, I can give you the name of a babysitter that would be more than happy to help you. End of story! Sometimes you have to write it out with a crayon. I think you're generous for doing 1 night a month for $10 an hour. I would not even do that. Sometimes when you try to be nice and do something like the 1 night a month it opens it up for additional offer. Maybe get rid of that 1 night a month and say because your family life is so busy, you just can't offer any special night care.

[Cat Herder]

You can term an adult for any reason, or no reason at all.

Maybe approach it as " Mary, We have had this discussion many times and frankly, I need you to stop. Today. I will not be doing after hours care. Period. Your continual requests are frustrating me and I am tired of the guilt trips. If you need that kind of care, please feel free to look elsewhere. If not, please stop asking. "

I like to get straight to the point, I hold no punches with adults.

You can follow it with "Have a great day! Love your new shoes!" if you'd like .

[MaritimeMummy]

For the record, no one has ever actually taken me up on my "date night" offer. Thsi DCM did have something set up once, and cancelled 2 days beforehand saying she couldn't afford it.

[lovemykidstoo]

For the record, no one has ever actually taken me up on my "date night" offer. Thsi DCM did have something set up once, and cancelled 2 days beforehand saying she couldn't afford it.

That's funny that the one that's bugging you for extra care is one that said she can't afford the $10 for the date night. UGH! I would tell her then that you do the 1 night a month date night for $10 an hour and anything beyond that will be $20 an hour. That should shut her up!

[Cat Herder]

For the record, no one has ever actually taken me up on my "date night" offer. This DCM did have something set up once, and cancelled 2 days beforehand saying she couldn't afford it.

IMHO, You may want to skip the date night offers from this point on. This will keep the after hours care issue black and white.

Offering it "sometimes" makes it grey. "If she can do it Wednesday, maybe she will do it for me Friday. I'll ask. It never hurts to ask, right?"

[sharlan]

I don't really find 3 times in 6 mnths that excessive, but I understand where you are coming from.

I would give her a nice letter saying that you do not provide any care outside of your regular daycare hours and she will receive a formal 2 week notice if she asks again.

[MaritimeMummy]

Well, it's excessive if you've made it clear in the interview, contract, and each time she asked that that kind of care is NOT provided. Once is fine, twice is too much.


Honestly, if she can't afford the once-a-month babysitting, I am struggling understand how she thinks she can afford after-hours care on a regular basis. And i'm not talking about a Tuesday night here, a Saturday there. I'm talking that she wants pretty much every Saturday, and to drop her off here in the mornings from 9am to probably about 8 or 9pm, every night. At $10 an hour after 6pm, that will get pricey. She's already subsidized and subsidy pays for most of her care, but they don't pay for after-hours care, that comes out of pocket.

[lovemykidstoo]

I have an idea since you said that noone really uses the $10 after hours care. Why don't you type up a letter for everyone and say that due to spending time with your own family and the things you have going on that you will no longer be providing any type of after hour care including the date night. Then if she is so goofy to ask after that, you can easily say, oh remember the letter I sent out, I dont' do that anymore.

[rhymia1]

IMHO, You may want to skip the date night offers from this point on. This will keep the after hours care issue black and white.

Offering it "sometimes" makes it grey. "If she can do it Wednesday, maybe she will do it for me Friday. I'll ask. It never hurts to ask, right?"

I agree. I do not do "date nights" or "PNO's" because I am not a babysitter. I am a business that offers service between the hours of 7:30-4:45 Monday-Friday. If they want care outside those hours, then they need to hire a babysitter. If you mention that you "might" offer it, then you will find people asking for it.

[countrymom]

I agree. I do not do "date nights" or "PNO's" because I am not a babysitter. I am a business that offers service between the hours of 7:30-4:45 Monday-Friday. If they want care outside those hours, then they need to hire a babysitter. If you mention that you "might" offer it, then you will find people asking for it.

I was going to say that if you don't do it then why offer it. To me, your contract sounds to wishy washy, everything is done on your terms ex. you say that only if it doesn't interefer with your family time. Well, you can't do it like this, it needs to be yes or no not "when I feel like it" this will ween out alot of craziness. This goes the same as your sick policy, you either close or you don't, parents need it to be simple basic and to the point. The more you skirt around the ideas then the more they will ask for more.

[cheerfuldom]

IMHO, You may want to skip the date night offers from this point on. This will keep the after hours care issue black and white.

Offering it "sometimes" makes it grey. "If she can do it Wednesday, maybe she will do it for me Friday. I'll ask. It never hurts to ask, right?"

I think this is what she is doing....you are open to weekend, evening care if it works for you and you said so at the interview. Now she is asking over and over, "does this night work for you, does this night work for you" I would redo the contract to no longer offer any evening/weekend/overnight care ever. Make it black and white. Highlight that portion and make her sign it. Then tell her "As my contract states, I never offer care outside of business hours. Please do not ask me again. The answer will always be no from here on out"

[MaritimeMummy]

I was going to say that if you don't do it then why offer it. To me, your contract sounds to wishy washy, everything is done on your terms ex. you say that only if it doesn't interefer with your family time. Well, you can't do it like this, it needs to be yes or no not "when I feel like it" this will ween out alot of craziness. This goes the same as your sick policy, you either close or you don't, parents need it to be simple basic and to the point. The more you skirt around the ideas then the more they will ask for more.

I'd refrain from commenting until you stop putting words into my mouth. Thanks.

I don't see how it's "wishy washy" when I am very clear that I do not do after hours care unless it's emergency or specifically for a date ONE time a month, no more? This woman is trying to get every weeknight and most weekends out of me for work purposes. You tell me how I sound wishy-washy, please.

And with the sick policy the ONLY reason I stayed open yesterday was because this same mother guilted me into it after I told her I was closing. So, yes, I am SORRY that I am a bit of a pushover but this is why I am coming here, to get help with. k, thanks.

[MaritimeMummy]

I'm sorry for sounding rude but honestly, I am sick to death of coming on here looking for advice from other providers and being constantly told (by the same few users here, mind you) that I am doing things wrong, my contract isn't specific enough, can't blame the parents for the confusion, it's my fault, blah blah blah. No freaking wonder I want out of this job. I have to constantly keep the parents in check and then get no support from fellow providers. Good gravy.

[Meyou]

I would try a letter changing your policy to no extra care outside of business hours. If she still persists then I would term if it was me.

The alternative is to start telling her YES, that you will do the extra care for $150/day flat fee (in cash, in advance) for anything outside of business hours. Regular charges still apply during business hours of course. Sometimes a YES on your terms gets the same result as a no over and over.