What Do You Make of This?

[MrsCoffee]

Illnesses and allergic reactions - Should they be able to come back with restriction?

Sorry ladies Forgot to switch to main page

[professionalmom]

I could be way off, but maybe it is really not about daycare at all. Maybe they are having marital difficulties and she is moving, maybe in with a family member or something. If she is leaving her husband, maybe it isn't close by?

I understand that if there really is an issue that has nothing to do with daycare, many of us sympathize with the situation. If they were having marital problems, my heart would go out for them. HOWEVER, this is business and THEY'RE problems are NOT MY problems. Name at least 3 businesses out there that will give you a break on their fees just because you are having "personal" issues like marital problems, issues that don't have anything to do with the business. I can't think of even one.
I know I sound cruel. But, hey, I have had clients that have put MY family in very tough financial situations due to their lack of payment, not submitting their hours to DHS (resulting in my pay being over 6 weeks late!), quitting on me with no notice, etc all because they wanted to save a buck. Bottom line: the ONLY financial problems I have to worry about is the ones that involve MY family and myself. Period. If I can't claim you on my taxes, your finances are not my problem.

[judytrickett]

I know I sound cruel. .

Nope, doesn't sound cruel to me AT ALL.

Daycare is BUSINESS first and foremost. We do this job to make MONEY. And there is NOTHING wrong with that sentiment and/or fact. It's a business.

More daycare providers need to wake up to that fact and they would have FAR fewer problems.

When it's business EVERYTHING is cut and dry.

[Janet]

Why do some parents leave?

I think that the number one reason that a parent leaves that way is because they have found cheaper care. It ****s because some parents don't even consider what they are giving up, but they learn soon enough that saving a little bit of money on daycare expenses doesn't always work out the best (unless the parents truly don't care about the quality of care that their child recieves). Try not to think too much of it. I know it's easier said than done. The boys sound like they are out of control anyway, so I can't imagine that it was an enjoyable experience having them in your daycare. A 7yo and a 9yo are perfectly capable of understanding rules and what is expected of them. The mom needs to get her butt in gear and stop making excuses for her kids behavior. There is NO EXCUSE for kids their ages to completely disregard even the most basic of rules. Also, don't give this woman a penny back. You cut her a deal which is more than most people would do and she's putting you in a tough situation. Make sure that she pays you what she owes you, too. You deserve it. I'm sure that this will sound mean but I don't care about the financial tough times of my daycare families. I care about getting paid because this is a business. It's not a charity. I'm not trying to be harsh, I'm just trying to run my business. I never ask about money situations with my daycare families and they don't ask about mine. This hasn't always been the case, and that cost me about $3000. I can't think of any businesses out there that will reduce their costs because you are having financial problems. Can you imagine going into any business and expecting them to give you something for nothing? Don't feel like you did anything wrong, because you didn't and don't feel like you have to refund any money to the mom because you don't. Sorry this happened to you!

[fctjc1979]

Ok, so I rec'd this email today from one of my parents. What do you make of it?

As I am sure you assumed none of the children will be going to this fieldtrip. I also need to speak to you about our summer daycare. It is with regret that Ahmet and I will be changing daycares for personal reasons unrelated to you or your childcare, which at this point am not able to explain in greater detail. The boys will be done as of Friday of this week. And Kay will be done as of the 9th of July. I know this is not much time for the boys, and just over two weeks for the boys so I know we need to discuss payment for the time. I will see you in the morning.

Why would she change daycare but it has nothing to do with me and she can't explain? Any thoughts?

I honestly don't think that the reason for them leaving is you. If it was you, why would they be leaving their daughter with you longer than the boys? She does say that it is personal reasons and that she can't discuss it. This could be issues that are legal in nature where their legal council or a judge has ordered them not to speak about it. Since it says that she knows she needs to have a discussion about money, I would put this out of your mind until she comes and talks to you. In the mean-time, I would perhaps speak to a lawyer about the fees already paid and due to find out what the laws are on prepaid fees, etc. There are some lawyers that do free consultations but you'll probably have to do a bit of searching to find one.

[professionalmom]

I'm sure that this will sound mean but I don't care about the financial tough times of my daycare families. I care about getting paid because this is a business. It's not a charity. I'm not trying to be harsh, I'm just trying to run my business. I never ask about money situations with my daycare families and they don't ask about mine. This hasn't always been the case, and that cost me about $3000. I can't think of any businesses out there that will reduce their costs because you are having financial problems. Can you imagine going into any business and expecting them to give you something for nothing? Don't feel like you did anything wrong, because you didn't and don't feel like you have to refund any money to the mom because you don't. Sorry this happened to you!

As soon as I saw, "It's not a charity", I thought "she must be near me". Yep! A fellow Michigander, or whatever we are called (I've only been here 5 years). I say this SO much. "This is daycare. It's not a charity"

Ditto on the "expecting them to give you something for nothing". Another common phrase used in my home! Is it just a Michigan thing?

[gbcc]

I'm calculating an extra 75 a week X 5 months January thru May assuming the school agers started in June. (5 months X 4.3 weeks per month = 21.5 weeks) That would be 75 X 21.5= $1612 How are you getting 900? Even if they were there two weeks at 75 extra per week in June that would mean they only used up 125 dollars per week of the "credit" they have. This would take her balance down to 1362.

The reason I'm asking is because if she is after the balance she will have it figured to the penny.

When in January did she start this? Is she required to give you two weeks notice on all the kids?

Don't refund a dime. The monies were given to pay for ths summer care and you are available to provide the care. You have HER she doesn't have you.

I took into consideration half days, days off, and school vacations. They started the end of June. We do have a contract for 2 weeks notice.

She actually just told me it is that they are divorcing unfortunately and moving apart. The 2 boys don't even know the last day is tomorrow. I guess they are splitting the children up. I know that mom is from another state and dad is from about an hour or so away from here. Such a terrible thing to happen for them all.

[judytrickett]

I took into consideration half days, days off, and school vacations. They started the end of June. We do have a contract for 2 weeks notice.

She actually just told me it is that they are divorcing unfortunately and moving apart. The 2 boys don't even know the last day is tomorrow. I guess they are splitting the children up. I know that mom is from another state and dad is from about an hour or so away from here. Such a terrible thing to happen for them all.

Still, I wouldn't refund if asked. NOT your problem. YOU did not change the arrangement - they did.

Do not let them guilt you. Their problem is not your problem.

[boysx5]

Still, I wouldn't refund if asked. NOT your problem. YOU did not change the arrangement - they did.

Do not let them guilt you. Their problem is not your problem.

so true and sometimes they make you feel quilty I also always love your advice

[Janet]

"This is a daycare, not a charity"...

should be copyrighted here in the wondrous (not) state of Michigan. Yep, for the record, we are "Michiganders"!

I have found myself feeling like this quite a bit in the past. Luckily, I haven't had to deal with it too much anymore, but there for a while I had quite a few families that expected a whole lot of service for not much money (or in DHS cases, no money at all!). I listened to the sob stories and I gave people breaks and I kept their kids for extra hours and I went above and beyond what I was contractually obligated to do. I finally reached a point where I realized that not a single one of the families that I was breaking my back for and compromising my needs for gave a crap about me and I was like "Oh, Hell no. I'm done with this!". I tore into one of the daycare moms because she picked up an hour late one morning (she worked 3rd shift) and I specifically told her that she needed to pick her kids up no later than 7:30am because I was chaperoning my daughter's 5th grade field trip and she showed up at 8:30am and we had to be at the school at 8:35am. Granted, I live close to the school and we made it on time but that wasn't the point. I had her kids ready to go, standing on the porch and as soon as she pulled up, I started yelling at her. I told her that it was completely unnacceptable for her to be late and I didn't care what her reason was. I then told her to take her kids and leave my house! I was fully expecting her to pull her kids after that but they arrived that night as usual and she came in the house like nothing happened. After she put her kids to bed, I walked her out to her car and told her that if she wanted her kids to continue to come to daycare at my house, then she would need to be a responsible adult. I didn't want to yell at her that morning but she forced my hand. She started to talk and started trying to give me an excuse and I just said "let me stop you right there. I really don't care what your excuse is. All I care about right now is making sure you understand how angry I am and how close I came to telling you to not bother with bringing the boys back here again. This kind of thing is not going to happen again or you will be looking for a new provider." That's the kind of thing that I was dealing with. This parent felt like I should have sympathy for her because she's a single mom and she's doing it all on her own. Really??? Is that so??? I didn't realize that she was doing it all on her own when she was not paying a dime for daycare (DHS paid), she was getting about $700/month in food stamps and she has section 8 rent payment and only paid $160 a month for rent! Her parents paid for her vehicle payment and her auto insurance. Her utilities were included with her rent except for her cell phone bill. She also unloaded her kids with the grandparents each and every weekend. Her sob stories may have lured me in, but I got to the point where I didn't even listen to her anymore.

I'm not a heartless person. It's heartbreaking to see people struggle when they are trying to provide for their families. I am more than willing to show compassion for people who are in need, but I have a huge problem with having a compassionate nature with people who feel like I should want to help them. I don't like having people feel like they are entitled to special treatment. I don't like for people to try to take advantage of me by playing on my empathy. It's low. This may come across badly, but it's true. In Michigan, this can often be par for the course. I have 2 sisters who do the same thing, so I'm not trying to say that I'm "greater than" anyone else. I know that people fall on hard times and that's what the social service systems are here for, but when I feel like someone is trying to take advantage of me, I get a bit upset. I think that anyone who is a provider in MI will understand where I'm coming from. I used to get food stamps and medicaid after I had my daughter, so I'm not trying to be a snob or anything like that. I used the services that I was eligible for while my husband was finishing college and I was in college and working part time, too (and everyone knows that college students are totally broke!).

Hope no one finds my post offensive. I'm not trying to say that everyone getting help from the state has the same attitude. I just think that I've been unfortunate enough to have had 5 out of 6 DHS families have the attitude of "you should help me. I've had a rough life and you should do all that you can do to make my life easier".

[nannyde]

I took into consideration half days, days off, and school vacations. They started the end of June. We do have a contract for 2 weeks notice.

She actually just told me it is that they are divorcing unfortunately and moving apart. The 2 boys don't even know the last day is tomorrow. I guess they are splitting the children up. I know that mom is from another state and dad is from about an hour or so away from here. Such a terrible thing to happen for them all.

That doesn't have anything to do with you so don't allow it to.

The bottom line is they paid in advance for a service that they are choosing not to use. If it was important to them they would make their lives work so that they could utilize the services they planned on.

You have NO way of knowing if what she is saying is true. They could get back together next weekend and just go to cheaper provider. It's not something that happened "to" them. They did this. They planned on and scheduled a provider for the summer for three kids and paid for that service in payments. They need to live up to the agreement or they need to forfeit the money. Not only should they not get a refund but they should be liable for the two weeks notice. Let them know that they owe you two weeks at 205 a week.

All they have to do is give you WORDS and they get their money back? NO. Rely on the "words" they gave you before. The words were "we can't afford 330 a week for three kids during the summer so we are going to start paying a part of it from now until June". That the words. Stay with that.

[gbcc]

Thanks for the advice everyone! I do feel bad for people and get guilted into helping them out! It's good to know I'm not being selfish or cruel in my thoughts!

[nannyde]

Thanks for the advice everyone! I do feel bad for people and get guilted into helping them out!

That's exactly what they are after. You'll see really quickly how "guilty" they are when you say NO that you need to have this income for your family or your family will fall apart. They will not care about your family. They won't feel bad even if Jesus himself came down and told them that you giving the money back would make it so you can't feed your kids. They would still take the refund.

This isn't about you so don't make it about you. Tell them you need their two week notice and the fees for that notice. They should have thought about this before they scheduled and reserved day care in January. They should have considered that there was a possiblity that they would not need care and made provisions for that.

There's a REALLY good chance that they are not telling you the truth or the whole truth. They could very well be telling you what they THINK is going to give them the highest possible chance of the most amount of money. Don't fall for it.
You are not "lay a way" day care. You have a family to feed and your family needs to stay together and prosper.

[jen]

I understand that if there really is an issue that has nothing to do with daycare, many of us sympathize with the situation. If they were having marital problems, my heart would go out for them. HOWEVER, this is business and THEY'RE problems are NOT MY problems. Name at least 3 businesses out there that will give you a break on their fees just because you are having "personal" issues like marital problems, issues that don't have anything to do with the business. I can't think of even one.
I know I sound cruel. But, hey, I have had clients that have put MY family in very tough financial situations due to their lack of payment, not submitting their hours to DHS (resulting in my pay being over 6 weeks late!), quitting on me with no notice, etc all because they wanted to save a buck. Bottom line: the ONLY financial problems I have to worry about is the ones that involve MY family and myself. Period. If I can't claim you on my taxes, your finances are not my problem.

Absolultely! My point was that she may not be looking to get a refund at all--I don't think that she had asked for one as of yet. I thought perhaps she was pulling the kids for reasons other than money and may have no intention of asking for anything.

[nannyde]

Absolultely! My point was that she may not be looking to get a refund at all--I don't think that she had asked for one as of yet. I thought perhaps she was pulling the kids for reasons other than money and may have no intention of asking for anything.

Hope springs eternal.

I "hope" you are right. I hope this parent not only doesn't ask for a refund but lives up to her contractual obligation and give notice at the rate they have agreed to for the summer. That would be the right thing to do.