What Do You Make of This?

[gbcc]

Ok, so I rec'd this email today from one of my parents. What do you make of it?

As I am sure you assumed none of the children will be going to this fieldtrip. I also need to speak to you about our summer daycare. It is with regret that Ahmet and I will be changing daycares for personal reasons unrelated to you or your childcare, which at this point am not able to explain in greater detail. The boys will be done as of Friday of this week. And Kay will be done as of the 9th of July. I know this is not much time for the boys, and just over two weeks for the boys so I know we need to discuss payment for the time. I will see you in the morning.

Why would she change daycare but it has nothing to do with me and she can't explain? Any thoughts?

[momofboys]

Ok, so I rec'd this email today from one of my parents. What do you make of it?

As I am sure you assumed none of the children will be going to this fieldtrip. I also need to speak to you about our summer daycare. It is with regret that Ahmet and I will be changing daycares for personal reasons unrelated to you or your childcare, which at this point am not able to explain in greater detail. The boys will be done as of Friday of this week. And Kay will be done as of the 9th of July. I know this is not much time for the boys, and just over two weeks for the boys so I know we need to discuss payment for the time. I will see you in the morning.

Why would she change daycare but it has nothing to do with me and she can't explain? Any thoughts?

When's the field trip? Is it tomorrow or Fri? I'd hate getting an e-mail like that. The suspense would kill me! Not much notice for the boys. It sounds like she will pay you what she owes you though. Have you had problems with this family? I would think it had everything to do with me. Could it be a cost issue? Someone cheaper?

[QualiTcare]

hmm...maybe she found someone cheaper? i had a mom last week who took her child to someone else because they were cheaper - FORGET the fact that she KNOWS they do absolutely nothing with the kids and she knows this because her child went there before. she told me, "PLEASE don't think it has anything to do with you!" and i know it didn't. what it had to do with is that i was watching her child for 45 hours in 3 days while she worked, and she wanted someone to keep him EVEN MORE...even when she wasn't at work and it didn't matter how well he was taken care of. all that mattered is that she could get rid of him for appx 70 hours for the same price as my 45 hours.

i got to thinking...there are appx 160 hours in a week. if daycare has this child 70 hours and he sleeps ten hours a night......that leaves all of TWENTY hours a week this mom has with her kid (and he also takes 2 hour nap every day)....which leaves......6 waking hours? UGH. some parents are just scum.

maybe your mom found a summer program/camp type place that does a lot of field trips/activities.

i dunno, but i'm sure it REALLY doesnt have to do with YOU or she wouldn't have said it didn't and wouldn't be worried about paying you.

[gbcc]

The field trip is on the second. I sent out reminder emails to have all permission slips turned into me last monday so she was responding to that email.

I really haven't had problems with this family. I did have a bounced check and made her do automated payments through minute menu which was a hassel but thats it so maybe it is money.

Here is my other concern.... I offered this mom a deal. I charge $130 per week for the summer per child. Instead of this mom paying me $330 (sibling discount) during the summer I offered this mom a deal. She pays me $205 per week. So it's an average between school and summer break. I can't afford to pay her back all that extra money. Do you think she is expecting me to? I think it's her own fault, as I told her to make sure they would be here over the summer. I'm not a bank, she can't give me money to hold and then ask for it back right??

[QualiTcare]

she probably IS expecting you to, but don't do it. tell her you will keep her kids for however long she paid you, but no refunds. the rest is up to her.

i had a parent that quit last week which is OK cus i'm getting out of DC anyway, but she paid me $1,000 a month for her son and wanted to give me a check for the whole amount at the beginning of each month. i told her NO for the reason you're having right now. if I or she changed plans, i didn't want to have money that was already spent which she expected to get back.

don't give her money back, but consider it a lesson learned.

[nannyde]

The field trip is on the second. I sent out reminder emails to have all permission slips turned into me last monday so she was responding to that email.

I really haven't had problems with this family. I did have a bounced check and made her do automated payments through minute menu which was a hassel but thats it so maybe it is money.

Here is my other concern.... I offered this mom a deal. I charge $130 per week for the summer per child. Instead of this mom paying me $330 (sibling discount) during the summer I offered this mom a deal. She pays me $205 per week. So it's an average between school and summer break. I can't afford to pay her back all that extra money. Do you think she is expecting me to? I think it's her own fault, as I told her to make sure they would be here over the summer. I'm not a bank, she can't give me money to hold and then ask for it back right??

She may be doing this for the sole reason of trying to cash back out the money she has paid upfront for the summer care. Tell her that your agreement is 205 a week thru the summer for all three kids. If she chooses to break that then she needs to give proper notice and there will not be any refunding of any portion of the 205 she has paid previously. Once she knows that she can't cash this out she may just stay thru the summer.

How long has she been paying the extra 75 a week? If this is many months this could get into a chunk of money really quickly. That's a little over 300 a month for however many months she's bee doing this.

Tell her it's a "use it or loose" it arrangement and you are still willing to finish the summer out as you guys had planned.

Her telling you it didn't have anything to do with your day care makes me think it has everything to do with your day care. Specifically the money she thinks she has in a "savings" account with your day care.

[gbcc]

Yes, it would be a lot of money. We have been doing this arrangement since January. At first she didn't want to because she thought she was loosing her job but then I guess everything worked out and she decided they couldn't afford the huge bill in the summer. We are talking about $900. I did tell her up front that this was a benefit to help her and if she wasn't going to stay the entire year then it would not be beneficial to her, as she would have been paying a lot of school age care.

The only other thing I can think of is that her boys are in time out a lot. No, sorry A LOT! She makes exuses for behavior (they are tired, they are bored, they need to burn off energy, boys will be boys, the one is slower to learn...)but I hold them accountable since they are 7 and 9. They will not be allowed to run in my house, throw things, jump on my furniture, or hit. They hit and play fight a lot. They have been here since January so I don't give warnings anymore, I just put them in time out.

I've never been terminated so I guess the fact that for the first time in 4 years someone is leaving and I don't have a real answer why is bothering me. I have had parents leave because they lost a job, but thats not by thier choice really ya know.

[judytrickett]

The field trip is on the second. I sent out reminder emails to have all permission slips turned into me last monday so she was responding to that email.

I really haven't had problems with this family. I did have a bounced check and made her do automated payments through minute menu which was a hassel but thats it so maybe it is money.

Here is my other concern.... I offered this mom a deal. I charge $130 per week for the summer per child. Instead of this mom paying me $330 (sibling discount) during the summer I offered this mom a deal. She pays me $205 per week. So it's an average between school and summer break. I can't afford to pay her back all that extra money. Do you think she is expecting me to? I think it's her own fault, as I told her to make sure they would be here over the summer. I'm not a bank, she can't give me money to hold and then ask for it back right??

Oh, she'll ask for it back! You SHOULD have something in your contract that states once fees are paid they are NON refundable for ANY reason. That always stops issues like this one.

But, a big KUDOS to you for getting your money up front and making it THEIR problem instead of yours. I wish MORE providers would think like this and get hosed less often.

[nannyde]

Yes, it would be a lot of money. We have been doing this arrangement since January. At first she didn't want to because she thought she was loosing her job but then I guess everything worked out and she decided they couldn't afford the huge bill in the summer. We are talking about $900. I did tell her up front that this was a benefit to help her and if she wasn't going to stay the entire year then it would not be beneficial to her, as she would have been paying a lot of school age care.

The only other thing I can think of is that her boys are in time out a lot. No, sorry A LOT! She makes exuses for behavior (they are tired, they are bored, they need to burn off energy, boys will be boys, the one is slower to learn...)but I hold them accountable since they are 7 and 9. They will not be allowed to run in my house, throw things, jump on my furniture, or hit. They hit and play fight a lot. They have been here since January so I don't give warnings anymore, I just put them in time out.

I've never been terminated so I guess the fact that for the first time in 4 years someone is leaving and I don't have a real answer why is bothering me. I have had parents leave because they lost a job, but thats not by thier choice really ya know.

I'm calculating an extra 75 a week X 5 months January thru May assuming the school agers started in June. (5 months X 4.3 weeks per month = 21.5 weeks) That would be 75 X 21.5= $1612 How are you getting 900? Even if they were there two weeks at 75 extra per week in June that would mean they only used up 125 dollars per week of the "credit" they have. This would take her balance down to 1362.

The reason I'm asking is because if she is after the balance she will have it figured to the penny.

When in January did she start this? Is she required to give you two weeks notice on all the kids?

Don't refund a dime. The monies were given to pay for ths summer care and you are available to provide the care. You have HER she doesn't have you.

[jen]

I could be way off, but maybe it is really not about daycare at all. Maybe they are having marital difficulties and she is moving, maybe in with a family member or something. If she is leaving her husband, maybe it isn't close by?

[jen]

PS: No way would I return the check!

[nannyde]

Oh, she'll ask for it back! But, a big KUDOS to you for getting your money up front and making it THEIR problem instead of yours. I wish MORE providers would think like this and get hosed less often.

Yes good for her.

My advice is don't DISCUSS anything other than her remaining thru the summer at the 205 per week for all three kids. That's the best money deal she can give. What she agreed to.

Now that the cats out of the bag for the kids to leave it's HAMMER TIME. Now is the time to lay the law down on the kids and not let a single thing go by. She has nothing to loose now. She's got the money upfront. If they don't like it they can leave.

I have a feeling this whole thing is about getting a crap ton of money back and her finding a cheaper day care deal for all the kids that doesn't require a crap ton of money up front.

So sad. She should have done that in the first place. The Mom doesn't have anything stating the money will be "banked" and returned if not used. The provider may not have a no refunds in her policies but she also doesn't have a "refunds given" either. Works both ways. There's no implication that she can pay in advance for care and then get the money back if and when she decides not to use care. The money is for the slots.

Not only would I not refund but I would be enforcing the notice time on all three kids. When the parent asks for money back say.. NO actually you owe me two weeks notice on all three kids. You owe ME money.

[nannyde]

I could be way off, but maybe it is really not about daycare at all. Maybe they are having marital difficulties and she is moving, maybe in with a family member or something. If she is leaving her husband, maybe it isn't close by?

Nah my guess is they are low on money... think they have a big bank of money with this provider... know that is their only shot to get a chunk of money at one time... and want it now.

If she was leaving for bad life stuff it would be so easy to just SAY bad life stuff. She purposely didn't discuss why when she gave notice. When people have bad things happen they share that. If it's about money then it's private.

[judytrickett]

I'm calculating an extra 75 a week X 5 months January thru May assuming the school agers started in June. (5 months X 4.3 weeks per month = 21.5 weeks) That would be 75 X 21.5= $1612 How are you getting 900? Even if they were there two weeks at 75 extra per week in June that would mean they only used up 125 dollars per week of the "credit" they have. This would take her balance down to 1362.

The reason I'm asking is because if she is after the balance she will have it figured to the penny.

When in January did she start this? Is she required to give you two weeks notice on all the kids?

Don't refund a dime. The monies were given to pay for ths summer care and you are available to provide the care. You have HER she doesn't have you.

Yeah, I was kind of working the numbers too. But, if she does not have a deposit for the last two weeks then for three kids at $130 a week that uses up another $780 or so. And that is figuring all the kids (even the non-school ager) at $130 a week.

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

Is she upset about the field trip? I would feel a bit hurt too but if it's because of the discipline, you'll be better off without them....I was a little hesitant about how to discipline other's kids in fear that they would hate it here or go back and tell mom a twisted story....but I have grown a backbone over the past year and will not have children disrespect my rules of my home or destroy my belongings. I do the same thing, if the child decides not to listen or is being destructive, simply a time out they go. If this bothers the parents, my door is not far away...if the parents feel negative behavior is ok or "just being kids", they can deal with it.

I wouldn't give the refund...if you have nothing in writing neither her or you are obligated I would think (she's not entitled to it back as it's not in writing). I honestly don't know how that would work...that's just my guess.