When I Worked Outside the Home I Missed My Kids!

[daycarediva]

I had a new kid start (3 months ago, so new-ish) who was contracted from 7:45-3:45. I do care for UP TO 10 hours a day at a flat rate, longer is at a higher rate(I really discourage kids being left in care from open-close). Mom asked about this last week. Today she asked to change her contracted hours to change their pickup time to 5:45. She also asked what the fee would be if she could drop off at 6:45 instead of 7:45 and then go home and shower/get ready for work. She gets out of work at 3:30. So she wants dcb here for 3 hours a day when he really doesn't need to be. poor dcb.

[Country Kids]

This weekend I'm updating all my paperwork and this is where I'm stuck. I right now charge an hourly rate and I think it stops people from doing this as they see how quickly the hours add up and what it cost them.

I want to go to a daily rate but don't want this to be happening as I do have some parents that do work 10 hour days.

If you charged her hourly do you think it would stop her from wanting to drop him off so much?

[daycarediva]

with this family, I'm not sure it would matter. Money isn't really an issue. If I charged hourly I would be afraid of my other families taking kids out early and losing money. I have other dcb every Monday bright and early even though Mom doesn't work, but if she paid by the hour (instead of the flat weekly rate) I'm sure she would double think that!

[Country Kids]

with this family, I'm not sure it would matter. Money isn't really an issue. If I charged hourly I would be afraid of my other families taking kids out early and losing money. I have other dcb every Monday bright and early even though Mom doesn't work, but if she paid by the hour (instead of the flat weekly rate) I'm sure she would double think that!

Thats the beauty of charging hourly though-you get the parents who want to be with their kids! They won't want to pay all the extra money so they drop them off right before work and then pick them up on the way home from work. Not after they run all their errands and such.

[lindysmiles]

sad Perhaps she is overwhelmed with life right now?? Honest confession: I know when my first born was in daycare, I felt very disconnected as my job was really stressful at the time, and I was so overwhelmed with work + motherhood + home responsibilities + being in college as well. It wasn't until we had a family vacation where we just stayed home together as a family for a week without outside distractions that I realized how much I was missing with him, and realized the changes I needed to make for our family to be cohesive (and for my sanity!). I only wish I could have that time back! My only thought is that we never know what another person is going through, and I hope you can find a solution that works for both of you. {{{{hugs}}}} lovethis

[NiNi.R.]

I used to do a flat weekly rate but ran into this alot! Now my weekly rates are based on their departure time. The later they stay the more they pay. Has worked out amazing for me!

My aunt who used to run a daycare charged by the hour but had a min. weekly rate to hold the spot. For example $2.00/hr per child with a min weekly fee of $60.00 week. So the $60.00 covered up 30 hours a week but anything over was an extra $2.00/hr.

[Nickel]

I kind of like that. $60 week up to 30 hrs then extra each hour. That's a good idea. I might consider that. Although my very first question is what hours do you need. I don't even tell parents what hours I'm available. I ask what they need and then tell them if I can accomodate that schedule or not.

But I must say that I was a parent whose child was in care open to close, but it wasn't my choice. I dropped her off as late as possible (most days 6am)and picked up as early as possible (anywhere from 5-6pm) But she was at a daycare center and I was active duty military. So there wasn't much I could do about my schedule. But I never stopped anywhere, never went home and showered or anything. I was single parent whose child was still waking up at night well over 1 year old and I still couldn't fathom leaving my child in care when I wasn't working.

The ONLY tiime I left her in care when I got off was when I had a 24 hour duty the night before. I would drop her off at daycare and work from 6:15am to 4pm, then stand duty at the barracks from 4pm-8am. (A friend would pick up my daughter from daycare. Would take care of her over night and would sometimes even bring her by to see me for a few minutes eventhough it meant driving back and forth onto and off the base. Then she would drop my daughter off at daycare in the morning) I would then go directly to work at 8am and get off at 1 or 2pm. Go home, sleep until 5 and then go pick her up to take care of her because I'd had maybe an hour or two of sleep the night before. I don't get parents that can leave their kids in daycare all the time and not feel guilty. I hated missing so much of my daughters life.

Sorry, I know I started ranting there, but I really truly don't undertand this behavior.

[daycarediva]

I kind of like that. $60 week up to 30 hrs then extra each hour. That's a good idea. I might consider that. Although my very first question is what hours do you need. I don't even tell parents what hours I'm available. I ask what they need and then tell them if I can accomodate that schedule or not.

But I must say that I was a parent whose child was in care open to close, but it wasn't my choice. I dropped her off as late as possible (most days 6am)and picked up as early as possible (anywhere from 5-6pm) But she was at a daycare center and I was active duty military. So there wasn't much I could do about my schedule. But I never stopped anywhere, never went home and showered or anything. I was single parent whose child was still waking up at night well over 1 year old and I still couldn't fathom leaving my child in care when I wasn't working.

The ONLY tiime I left her in care when I got off was when I had a 24 hour duty the night before. I would drop her off at daycare and work from 6:15am to 4pm, then stand duty at the barracks from 4pm-8am. (A friend would pick up my daughter from daycare. Would take care of her over night and would sometimes even bring her by to see me for a few minutes eventhough it meant driving back and forth onto and off the base. Then she would drop my daughter off at daycare in the morning) I would then go directly to work at 8am and get off at 1 or 2pm. Go home, sleep until 5 and then go pick her up to take care of her because I'd had maybe an hour or two of sleep the night before. I don't get parents that can leave their kids in daycare all the time and not feel guilty. I hated missing so much of my daughters life.

Sorry, I know I started ranting there, but I really truly don't undertand this behavior.

I can't "like this" enough!

This family doesn't need the income, it is disposable, so the hours are just crazy, imo. She has said how she couldn't be home with dcb all day, how she would go stir crazy 'just sitting around' etc. I guess what irritates me the most is instead of being paid, I'd like her to listen when I say the adorable things dcb does, how much his speech is progressing (new word almost everyday) how he SINGS now, instead of rushing dcb out the door, folding his artwork and stuffing it in his bag while he looks dejected and cries. I do try very very hard to be sympathetic, but my kids always have and always will come first.

[DaisyMamma]

I can't "like this" enough!

This family doesn't need the income, it is disposable, so the hours are just crazy, imo. She has said how she couldn't be home with dcb all day, how she would go stir crazy 'just sitting around' etc. I guess what irritates me the most is instead of being paid, I'd like her to listen when I say the adorable things dcb does, how much his speech is progressing (new word almost everyday) how he SINGS now, instead of rushing dcb out the door, folding his artwork and stuffing it in his bag while he looks dejected and cries. I do try very very hard to be sympathetic, but my kids always have and always will come first.

So sad. Poor dcb.
I can't stand even the idea of dropping my kid off at daycare. I realize its how we make our living, but I don't know how others do it. If I had to do it I wouldn't be adding any extra time on to the day. I HAVE a family that comes even when parents aren't at work. I feel bad for the kids. They know mom or dad is home.

[cheerfuldom]

I do a daily rate and have not run into a huge issue of parents leaving kids in daycare for every second possible. I only have one that is here open to close but I only allow 10 hours max anyway, so the daily/weekly rate works well for me. Its less for me to keep track of!

[justgettingstarted]

I can't "like this" enough!

This family doesn't need the income, it is disposable, so the hours are just crazy, imo. She has said how she couldn't be home with dcb all day, how she would go stir crazy 'just sitting around' etc. I guess what irritates me the most is instead of being paid, I'd like her to listen when I say the adorable things dcb does, how much his speech is progressing (new word almost everyday) how he SINGS now, instead of rushing dcb out the door, folding his artwork and stuffing it in his bag while he looks dejected and cries. I do try very very hard to be sympathetic, but my kids always have and always will come first.

Careful ladies! or Crystal will start a thread flaming you for being judgmental and hateful

[Snapdragon]

sad Perhaps she is overwhelmed with life right now?? Honest confession: I know when my first born was in daycare, I felt very disconnected as my job was really stressful at the time, and I was so overwhelmed with work + motherhood + home responsibilities + being in college as well. It wasn't until we had a family vacation where we just stayed home together as a family for a week without outside distractions that I realized how much I was missing with him, and realized the changes I needed to make for our family to be cohesive (and for my sanity!). I only wish I could have that time back! My only thought is that we never know what another person is going through, and I hope you can find a solution that works for both of you. {{{{hugs}}}} lovethis

It's not easy for me to admit, but I felt overwhelmed and stressed when I had my second child and was working full time in a challenging job with a long commute (and pumping breast milk in a supply closet at work!!). I was one of those parents who left my children in daycare sometimes just to be able to have some down time (though I will say that OH did pick her up early when he could). After 7 months of this, we moved and I was in a position to be able to stay home with my children. It took me a while to adapt, but made me realize what I had missed. I think the fact that we didn't have any support network (no family or friends in the area as we had only just moved a short time before my younger daughter was born) made it more difficult. I felt very isolated and depressed at the time.

[countrymom]

I have in my contract that my hours are just for "work" I've had parents go home cook dinner, play on the computer, read their mail oh and forget their kids. I'm not here to raise other peoples children, I'm here to watch them and take care of them while parents are working. I would tell mom no, that you can't do it.

[Blackcat31]

Careful ladies! or Crystal will start a thread flaming you for being judgmental and hateful

This comment is uncalled for. :confused:

[saved4always]

I always asked parents who were looking for a daycare provider what hours they needed. Then, if the hours worked for me, those were the hours I put in thier contract for a set amount per day. Most of my parents through the year dropped off on the way to work and picked up on the way home. I did contracted hours because I personally did not want kids from 6 a.m. until 6 p.m. everyday which is what I think may have happened if I had done open and close times instead of contracted hours...it had nothing to do with my thoughts on how much time they should spend with thier kids, I just wanted more time for my family and things we needed to do.

I have been on the other side though and being a mom who works full time outside the home is not easy. Everything that I did later as a SAHM still had to be done when I worked. When I was working full time years ago and had 2 small boys (they were in childcare from 6 weeks old until 1st and 3rd grade), they went to a daycare center that was open from 6:30 a.m. until 6 p.m., or something similar. My kids were not there every hour it was open, but I did not always pick them up directly after work. My bus would get to the park and ride around 4:30 or so and, sometimes, I would go do my grocery shopping before I picked them up. Sometimes I would do other errands, too, like Christmas shopping at Toys R Us, before I picked them up. I do not think they suffered because I sometimes picked them up at 5:30 instead of 4:30. Doing it this way saved me from having to take 2 small children to the store or me having to leave later in the evening to do the errands.

So, I can understand why some parents may want to use available time in daycare to get things done at home, do errands, or even showering after work before picking up or dropping off in the morning and going back home to shower and get ready. Honestly, the time taken to shower and get ready for work or go grocery shoppping is not what I call quality time with a child. If anything, it could make for a more stressful morning or trip for the parent and child if that child is one who makes it difficult to do these things. Based on my own experience, I really find it hard to begrudge a parent time to shower or shop in peace. That being said, I can't see sending a child to daycare every day when mom is a sahm or parents picking a child up hours after leaving work every day.