Would you Be Mad? Or Am I Being Over the Top?

[Blackcat31]

I think you should count your lucky stars your hubby is willing to get up with your son. I also wonder why in the world a 18 month old is still waking up in the middle of the night? Does he have insomina also? All my kids where sleeping threw the night at 4 months old with proper sleeping training and sleeping 12 hours a night. Also as far as the diaper leaking maybe go up a size or try overnight diapers even thou they are costly. I use luvs and did with my other 3 and sleeping for 12 hours they never had a leak.

I think OP is asking for advice about the situation with her DH not asking whether or not her child should or shouldn't be waking up in the middle of the night. She isn't asking for parenting tips.

Doesn't matter if the child is 1 month or 20 months, if the diaper needs changing then the person getting up with the child should change it.

OP's child doesn't have sleep issues that need fixing.....her DH has parenting issues that need addressing.

[Crazy8]

I am going to go against the grain here (as usual) and say you are NOT over-reacting. What is with all the "lucky" comments??? A dad who gets up with his child in the night doesn't deserve applause or a Father of the Year Award. That's a responsibility that comes with parenting. That's a responsibility that a woman/mother should expect and demand of her partner when needed. Who cares if he works all day the next day? So does mom!

I get really tired of the whole "boys will be boys", "it's a man thing" excuses that the world gives out to dudes. They are perfectly capable of everything that we as women are. These excuses are what create deadbeat dads, loser husbands and terrible role models for our sons. Please, stop.

In the first post the OP said she's told her hubs over "10,000 times" that if DS wakes in the night that DH needs to change him... the whole "Oh, it was a mistake", "Oh, he probably just forgot" is BS... he was being lazy. I guarantee it. I see men/dad's that "forget" all the time - just to later quietly admit that it's easier not to do it.

I agree with you that getting up with a child is not Father of the Year worthy but I really disagree with the bolded statement. You guarantee it??? We are hearing one side of the story. Yes, it sounds like there are issues besides changing a diaper at night but that does not mean the dad was just too lazy to change the diaper. MAYBE the diaper wasn't even wet when he went in to check on the kid. It does happen. MAYBE the child didn't even wake up the middle of the night but mom who has insomnia and can't fall back to sleep once awake was awake enough to hear the child. We are hearing one side so while I'd give advice and opinions on that one side (and giving opinions on how to alleviate a soaked thru diaper problem to me doesn't seem to be going off track from the OP) it doesn't mean that is the only side so to GUARANTEE that dad was being lazy just doesn't sit well with me.

[littlemissmuffet]

I agree with you that getting up with a child is not Father of the Year worthy but I really disagree with the bolded statement. You guarantee it??? We are hearing one side of the story. Yes, it sounds like there are issues besides changing a diaper at night but that does not mean the dad was just too lazy to change the diaper. MAYBE the diaper wasn't even wet when he went in to check on the kid. It does happen. MAYBE the child didn't even wake up the middle of the night but mom who has insomnia and can't fall back to sleep once awake was awake enough to hear the child. We are hearing one side so while I'd give advice and opinions on that one side (and giving opinions on how to alleviate a soaked thru diaper problem to me doesn't seem to be going off track from the OP) it doesn't mean that is the only side so to GUARANTEE that dad was being lazy just doesn't sit well with me.

Mom heard baby and dad get up. She also said this is a regular occurance. This wasn't a one-time thing, it happens all the time according to the OP. So, yes - I GUARANTEE, it's due to laziness.

[LittleD]

You're not over the top. Not much to ask for, he's up with the baby anyways might as well take the extra 10 seconds to change his diaper.

Oh and playing video games is not exactly watching the baby. Especially if he is like most men who play video games. They zone out, and the outside world has little meaning for them

As for punching holes in the wall, not acceptable. You both should go to counselling to address your issues. (IMO) It usually only gets worse as the hurt feelings progress to rage and resentment and the he won't do this, and she expects me to do that.

[WImom]

I am going to go against the grain here (as usual) and say you are NOT over-reacting. What is with all the "lucky" comments??? A dad who gets up with his child in the night doesn't deserve applause or a Father of the Year Award. That's a responsibility that comes with parenting. That's a responsibility that a woman/mother should expect and demand of her partner when needed. Who cares if he works all day the next day? So does mom!

I get really tired of the whole "boys will be boys", "it's a man thing" excuses that the world gives out to dudes. They are perfectly capable of everything that we as women are. These excuses are what create deadbeat dads, loser husbands and terrible role models for our sons. Please, stop.

In the first post the OP said she's told her hubs over "10,000 times" that if DS wakes in the night that DH needs to change him... the whole "Oh, it was a mistake", "Oh, he probably just forgot" is BS... he was being lazy. I guarantee it. I see men/dad's that "forget" all the time - just to later quietly admit that it's easier not to do it.

I also agree with this. I think DH needs to help out more too and bedtime would be a good bonding time and a break for you. My DH has always put my kids to bed for this very reason.

[itlw8]

You are tired today but yes a bit over the top. It could be he was still dry so a diaper change would not have helped.


aftr you calm down have a talk to find some solutions

1 how can you diaper so he will be dry if and when he sleeps through the night.

2 hou can both you and dh find some ME time.

3 what chores can he take over as his no fair redoing them if not good enough. And no nagging he is your dh not child.

maybe he would take charge of dinner on Tuesdays and give you time to just play with your ds.

[christinaskids]

I totally agree with littlemissmuffet. I think your issue isnt REALLY the diaper. I think your issue is that you are stressed out which is causing insomnia for you which leads to less sleep and therefore less coping ability with stress. I know I get crazy when I dont get enough sleep. Your marital issues def need to be worked on through mutual agreements or counseling. Go somewhere in the evenings by yourself, go for a walk, to a movie or the mall. If i didnt do that stuff, id be a wreck. If hubs throws a big fit then just sneak out. You NEED it