Learned something sad about DCB today

[justgettingstarted]

I just don't understand these parents. They rub me the wrong way which is one of the reasons I've termed (only two weeks left!). DCD told me this morning that DCB (6 months old) goes down for the night around 6:45. He picks him up between 5:45 and 6. He wakes up around 6 a.m., mom feeds him and then puts him down for a nap right after. DCD says he rolls around in his crib fussing but eventually goes back to sleep so that mom can get ready for work in peace and DCD can sleep in. Then DCD gets him up around 8:30 and brings him to me.

So, all week long mom and dad see this poor baby for less than an hour a day!! No wonder he won't sleep for me and has so completely disrupted my schedule and sanity that I will never take another young infant.

Why on earth would you have a baby and then purposefully spend as little time as possible with him?

[jojosmommy]

This is exactly why I could never work out of my home while my kids are little. My ds went to bed at 7 and woke up at 7 everyday when he was little- with the exception of night wakings of course.

If I wasnt home I would never have seen him.

I have heard that the 7 to 7 sleep sched is really good for little kids though. Just means you have to work less while they are little I guess!

[cheerfuldom]

This is very sad! I ask a lot of questions about the parents routine and expectations before accepting an infant. I have a wonderful infant right now who is so sweet and happy....but her parents have her on a great routine, spend a lot of awake time with her and are not eager to foist her off on the daycare provider. I cant imagine why someone would even have a baby if they are seeing them for an hour or less a day, yikes!

[justgettingstarted]

I completely understand that he needs to sleep 12 hours per night. My DS slept 6:30 to 6:30 like clock work and I would never disrupt that. But why put him down for a nap at 6 a.m. if you know you won't get to see him at all that day? Why not put him in a bouncy seat in the bathroom so you can talk to him while you're putting on your makeup? Why not put him in the highchair while you're packing your lunch and eating breakfast? Why not let him sleep straight through in the morning so he can stay up later in the evening and have some time with both parents?

[justgettingstarted]

This is very sad! I ask a lot of questions about the parents routine and expectations before accepting an infant. I have a wonderful infant right now who is so sweet and happy....but her parents have her on a great routine, spend a lot of awake time with her and are not eager to foist her off on the daycare provider. I cant imagine why someone would even have a baby if they are seeing them for an hour or less a day, yikes!

I agree I definitely didn't screen this family very well but they were my first family to sign up and when they came to interview he hadn't even been born yet so we didn't discuss routines, etc. Also, they are first generation citizens and there is definitely a language barrier and some cultural differences to deal with.

[MommieNana4]

I think they find out how much work goes into caring for a child, working a job and taking care of a household. Unfortunately, the child gets the short end of the stick!!! Sad!!!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

And then there are families like us who struggle to have a little one. Sad.

[Country Kids]

I guess I'm a little confused? Please don't flame me for this. I totally understand being upset that the parents only are doing about 1 hour a day with the child but if child is suppose to get about 12 hours of sleep a night and then in child care 8-9 hours then with travel time it sounds like the time they spend with the child would only leave about an hour.

I guess I see so many posts on here about children not getting enough sleep then when you have one who is getting the sleep people still aren't happy.

Remember there are only 24 hours in a day! If your work takes 9.5/sleep is 8 hours that only leaves 6.5 hours in an adults life to do things.

For a child-12 hours sleep, 9.5 hours chilcare, that only leaves 2.5 hours with parents for the day.

[justgettingstarted]

And then there are families like us who struggle to have a little one. Sad.

This is exactly my thought. My best friends has one child and has been trying ever since to have another (6 years!) and she is the most wonderful mother. But I mostly feel sad for DCB.

[justgettingstarted]

I guess I'm a little confused? Please don't flame me for this. I totally understand being upset that the parents only are doing about 1 hour a day with the child but if child is suppose to get about 12 hours of sleep a night and then in child care 8-9 hours then with travel time it sounds like the time they spend with the child would only leave about an hour.

I guess I see so many posts on here about children not getting enough sleep then when you have one who is getting the sleep people still aren't happy.

Remember there are only 24 hours in a day! If your work takes 9.5/sleep is 8 hours that only leaves 6.5 hours in an adults life to do things.

For a child-12 hours sleep, 9.5 hours chilcare, that only leaves 2.5 hours with parents for the day.

I only ever asked about their morning routine. I thought it was odd that they would put DCB down for a nap right after he wakes up and not want to spend that time with him but I assumed that he would stay up later in the evenings for family time. But just in passing conversation he told me they put him down for the night shortly after they get home. I know their time is limited because DCB needs so much sleep at this age but all the more reason to take advantage of that morning time rather than force him to nap. And if he's going right back down until 8:30 a.m. they could keep him up later in the evenings and he'd still get 12 or so hours. I just think it's sad that instead of trying to get as much time as possible with their child they want him to sleep as much as possible at home and stay awake all day here.

[cheerfuldom]

I guess I'm a little confused? Please don't flame me for this. I totally understand being upset that the parents only are doing about 1 hour a day with the child but if child is suppose to get about 12 hours of sleep a night and then in child care 8-9 hours then with travel time it sounds like the time they spend with the child would only leave about an hour.

I guess I see so many posts on here about children not getting enough sleep then when you have one who is getting the sleep people still aren't happy.

Remember there are only 24 hours in a day! If your work takes 9.5/sleep is 8 hours that only leaves 6.5 hours in an adults life to do things.

For a child-12 hours sleep, 9.5 hours chilcare, that only leaves 2.5 hours with parents for the day.

Not all kids need a full 12 hours of sleep but even so, clearly these parents leave this child awake and alone in his room, thats what makes it sad. My little infant wakes around 7 or earlier and mom has an hour with her in the morning, they pickup by 5 each day but usually earlier and they have at least a couple hours in the evening. I dont take kids that have to be in care more than 10 hours a day but usually it is more like 8 or 9 hours so they have some awake time each day with parents plus the weekends.

[Daycarelady1979]

Wait a sec... 6 month olds are supposed to sleep for 12 hours?!?!
I knew my baby was out to get me!! :: ::

He still wakes up every 3-4 hours to eat like a newborn & he is almost 6 months old. Not a good sleeper at all!

[SilverSabre25]

Wait a sec... 6 month olds are supposed to sleep for 12 hours?!?!
I knew my baby was out to get me!! :: ::

He still wakes up every 3-4 hours to eat like a newborn & he is almost 6 months old. Not a good sleeper at all!

Mine wakes up every 2...and he's 14 months...

[Crystal]

I agree with Country Kids. I often see posts about how children need the sleep, yet here is a post contradicting that.

Personally, I wouldn't judge the parents. Perhaps this is what they recognize that their child needs, on an individual level? My own daughter (19 years ago) NEEDED the sleep.....even at almost 2 years old. Before I became a child care provider, and I worked outside of the home, my daughter got up around 6, had a light snack, and then, based on her own INDIVIDUAL needs, she laid down and went to sleep while I got ready for work. Evry night, like clockwork, she was out after dinner, sleeping soundly in her bed....by 7:00. Now, a 19 year old University student, she STILL sleeps very similiarly. ::

Perhaps that is the case with dck? Perhaps the parents KNOW their child and this is what he needs?

Now, if the child is laying there crying and fussing because he doesn't want to sleep....that's a different story. But, if he is falling asleep when he is laid down then the sleep is what he needs.

[Crystal]

Wait a sec... 6 month olds are supposed to sleep for 12 hours?!?!
I knew my baby was out to get me!! :: ::

He still wakes up every 3-4 hours to eat like a newborn & he is almost 6 months old. Not a good sleeper at all!

12 hours yes. In a row, No! ::::::