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    Need Advice

    I'm logged out for privacy.

    I have a friend that is unlicensed. She has been watching two children for the last year, both are friends of the family. I haven't talked to her in awhile, until this week. She invites me over today and I was shocked

    Her house has always been spotless and neat and perfect. Always. Today it was a disaster. Complete disaster. Stuff everywhere. Not dirty, just a mess. Dishes, laundry, mail, junk. Wow. I have never ever seen her house like that. Worse, she didn't even seem to notice.

    I find out she now has five children. One child at the table eating alone. When he's done,she sits another child at the table alone. She can't see him because of the stack of clothes on the table. There were three children of about one, her children 2, 8, and 11 and an older child maybe 6 sleeping in another room.

    To top it off, most of the children were playing in the play room and were basically unsupervised while she sat on the couch. She then proceeded to tell me that she had to go on an antidepressent and she can't wait until her daughter goes to school and she is done with all of this. She has two of the children only for another week until they start school. but she is miserable. I have never seen her this way.

    If I report her she will know it is me. She's not necessarily neglecting the children, but I am concerned. It honestly was the longest hour of my life. I couldn't wait to get out of there.
  • littlemissmuffet
    Advanced Daycare.com Member
    • Jan 2011
    • 2194

    #2
    !

    I think the best thing you can do for your friend is help her... talk to her, listen to her. Give some advice/tips on how to avoid/cope with depression and burnout in this field of work. Provide some tips on juggling housework with daycare, dealing with other people's kids while trying to raise your home, tips on successfully being a work at home mom, etc.
    Even send her here for advice.

    She's not alone. And maybe having a support system of people who knows what she's going through is just what she needs before ending up in a downward spiral.

    Comment

    • countrymom
      Daycare.com Member
      • Aug 2010
      • 4874

      #3
      you can only support people who want to be supported. If everything is falling apart around her then why is she taking on more kids. Does she have a husband and kids, if so then why are they not helping.

      Comment

      • SunshineMama
        Advanced Daycare.com Member
        • Jan 2012
        • 1575

        #4
        As her friend, your first instinct should be to talk to her, not report her. Tell her how you feel, and if you are feeling generous, offer to help. Clearly she needs it. Watching 5 kids makes it impossible to keep the house spotless.

        Maybe you caught her on a bad day? Maybe she works so hard that she has no energy to do anything else? Maybe her husband is lazy and wont help? Maybe they need the money and this is the only means to get it?

        If you really are her friend, help her first. If, after offering your help, or at least talking to her, she is making no effort and there is a dangerous situation for the children, then you have to intervene, but give her a chance first.

        Comment

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