Help Please!!!

[mbullette]

I have been providing in home childcare for 3 years now. This is the first year that I took school age kids for the summer and it will also be the last year I take school age kids. They are more work than my babies and toddlers put together. They dont want to do anything and when I tell them to do something they laugh at me. I have talked to the parents several times and honestly nothing has changed.

There is a community pool where I live and the older kids asked if they could go there on Friday. Since they do not live in the community there is a fee to swim. One mom gives me money and the other moms do not. To get them out of my hair for an hour I gave them money and asked the oldest boy to bring me back the change. He has done it before with no problems. When he got back I asked for my change. The total cost for them to go swimming was $4.00 and I had given him a $20.00 because that is all the cash I had on hand. He told me he spent all the money at the snack bar. I told him I gave him the money to swim and not to buy snacks. He used a total of $16.00 for snacks and the highest priced item is $1.00. Candy is no more than 25 cents a piece and most are 5 cents. I told him to empty his pockets and he had nothing left.

I spoke to the mom and she is one that does not give me money. She didnt even seem to care and told him next time to just swim. I later found out that he paid $2.00 to swim but never actually went in the pool. He just sat at the snack bar. I care for babies and toddlers also and it was their nap time. The parents gave permission for the kids to go to the pool without me and its right across the street from my house so I can see them. This boy also has no respect for me, my home or the other kids I watch.

He is 9 years old and hits, swears and does what he wants. I have talked to the mom so many times and nothing seems to get better. I honestly loved my job before the school aged kids started and now I am just the crabby sitter. I hate being that way but when I talk to the wall the entire day it gets old. I also watch his 8 month old sister who is such a good baby. I want to keep her but I do not want to continue watching her brother.

There is only a month left of summer vacation. I am not sure if I should terminate care or just continue to be the crabby sitter for another month. The problem is the mom wants me to watch him on days he does not have school and also next summer. I have decided that I will not be taking school aged kids EVER again. I learned my lesson the hard way and would take 500 2 year olds any day!!!

I want to know what you would all do. Should I terminate his care or should I just stick it out another month??

[Heidi]

Mom needs to pay you the $20, and then work out with him how to repay her.
Give her a bill on Monday morning. She should have offered it.

As for 9yo, I would just tell her that once school begins, you will no longer be providing care for SA's.

[saved4always]

Mom needs to pay you the $20, and then work out with him how to repay her.
Give her a bill on Monday morning. She should have offered it.

As for 9yo, I would just tell her that once school begins, you will no longer be providing care for SA's.

I agree with this. Give mom the bill tomorrow and also give all the SA parents written notice that you will no longer be offering care to SA's as of xx/xx/12 (whenever school starts for your district).

I would try to make it for the next month with the 9 yo only so that you can possibly keep the baby after summer, but don't offer the pool up anymore. If they have to sit and watch tv all day, so be it. I would not allow them the privilege of swimming again.

[MizzCheryl]

First thing is to stay very calm. Stand tall and mean what you say. Decide that you are setting rules and use disciple. School ages are great because there are so many forms of disciple you can make use of. My favorite is long writing assignments.
Keep your stern face and mean business.
If it were me DCB9 would repay me by doing chores. If mom does not back you and does not wish for you to discipline and him to do chores then you have an easy out. "sorry mom but If I can not use discipline then I can't help you by watching your sweet son.
He would do small chores and write an essay of your choice for spending your money. Then NO more swimming. You all lay down and read at nap time. Thanks to DCB9 spending my money I no longer can afford for you all to go.
Each infraction need to be met with calm consequences.

If he swears he will write an essay. If he refuses to write it will be his assignment untill he does.

You are a stong woman that runs a daycare. Pump yourself up and Take charge.
You can do this. School kids need strict limits and they can be tough.
My school boys parents made them finish essays at home if they didn't do it for me. They caught on fast.
They just take a different approach and you must demand respect.
If i have an unruly school kid I can not be fun and silly till I get them under controll, they take advantage.
But they are alot more work.

[sharlan]

I am so done with SA's.

Your first mistake was to allow them to go to the pool by themselves. (There is no way that I would have done that.) Second mistake was to give him the money and expect change. This child has already proven to you that he is disrepectful. My suggestion is T E R M I N A T E, give Mom a 1 week notice and a bill for the $20. (This child stole from you, grounds for immediate termination.) I would not keep him for the rest of the summer. I will take 10 infants and toddlers over one 9 yo boy anyday.

[Blackcat31]

Welcome to the forum! Your status has been upgraded so you can post freely now

I am sorry but I would NOT even consider providing care for this child for the remainder of the summer. Even if it was only one day more!

Not all because of the boy's bad behavior but because of the mom's. NO way would I continue to provide services to someone who doesn't care about what just went down.

Term! It is NOT worth any amount of money to put up with that kind of behavior. The boy is not going to get any better if his mom just blows it off and doesn't do anything about it.

[juliebug]

Yes i would term too i mean wow that is alot of disrespect from all angles!

[providerandmomof4]

Wow...this sounds so familiar. I had written a similar post about a month into the summer. I had decided to take 6 SAC's and was miserable. I was used to being the fun and silly daycare lady that would run and play games and plan fun art projects....that all ended. These children were making me miserable. Constantly fighting, tearing up the toys and house and wouldn't listen to a thing I said. I spoke with one dcm, who had three boys that seemed to be causing the most problems of the group. She advised that their misbehavior must be my fault because I wasn't keeping them busy enough and they must be bored. This was not the case because I planned tons of activites that they refused to do. Well, needless to say, I had to get tough and this is what I decided to do instead of terminate as the summer had begun and I was afraid I may not be able to fill their spots. Unfortunately, I am no longer the silly goofball I used to be because these kids take this as a cue to get unruly and disrespectful. It hasn't been the summer I hoped for and was excited about with SAC, but at least I'm no longer miserable. I will not take SAC ever again!

[cheerfuldom]

I would terminate. Who knows what sort of trouble this one kid can get to over the rest of the summer. I would just term and forget about trying to get the money back from the mom. Offer to keep the baby but let her know that her son's behavior is not acceptable and you are not the right fit for the level of supervision he needs

[momma2girls]

I used to take school aged children, til it way out of hand. They were so picky with snacks, dinner, wouldn't eat!! Then didn't want to do anything, go outside, play games, etc.. wouldn't be quiet during naptimes.if they did go outside, they came in and out!!! GRR!! It was very annoying and upsetting to everyone!!! NEVER AGAIN!!!

[MizzCheryl]

What did you decide to do, and how did it go?

[My3cents]

I have been providing in home childcare for 3 years now. This is the first year that I took school age kids for the summer and it will also be the last year I take school age kids. They are more work than my babies and toddlers put together. They dont want to do anything and when I tell them to do something they laugh at me. I have talked to the parents several times and honestly nothing has changed.

There is a community pool where I live and the older kids asked if they could go there on Friday. Since they do not live in the community there is a fee to swim. One mom gives me money and the other moms do not. To get them out of my hair for an hour I gave them money and asked the oldest boy to bring me back the change. He has done it before with no problems. When he got back I asked for my change. The total cost for them to go swimming was $4.00 and I had given him a $20.00 because that is all the cash I had on hand. He told me he spent all the money at the snack bar. I told him I gave him the money to swim and not to buy snacks. He used a total of $16.00 for snacks and the highest priced item is $1.00. Candy is no more than 25 cents a piece and most are 5 cents. I told him to empty his pockets and he had nothing left.

I spoke to the mom and she is one that does not give me money. She didnt even seem to care and told him next time to just swim. I later found out that he paid $2.00 to swim but never actually went in the pool. He just sat at the snack bar. I care for babies and toddlers also and it was their nap time. The parents gave permission for the kids to go to the pool without me and its right across the street from my house so I can see them. This boy also has no respect for me, my home or the other kids I watch.

He is 9 years old and hits, swears and does what he wants. I have talked to the mom so many times and nothing seems to get better. I honestly loved my job before the school aged kids started and now I am just the crabby sitter. I hate being that way but when I talk to the wall the entire day it gets old. I also watch his 8 month old sister who is such a good baby. I want to keep her but I do not want to continue watching her brother.

There is only a month left of summer vacation. I am not sure if I should terminate care or just continue to be the crabby sitter for another month. The problem is the mom wants me to watch him on days he does not have school and also next summer. I have decided that I will not be taking school aged kids EVER again. I learned my lesson the hard way and would take 500 2 year olds any day!!!

I want to know what you would all do. Should I terminate his care or should I just stick it out another month??

wow Where to begin.....

First I would say that I would never let any kids go to a pool alone- Safety issue!!! I don't care if it is just across the street or in your back yard. Not your child. I wouldn't even let my own kids swim with out someone being present that is an adult. Freak accidents happen. Unless you were going to the pool too, to supervise and most places you have to have a ton of requirements to even be able to do a pool. I don't do pool. I do sprinkler and water table for hot days. Liability.

No money, no field trip. If everyone couldn't come up with the money then no one would go or I would have back up provider or assistant to stay with the kids that were not able to go. Unless this kid bought all his friends snacks then I would want to know what he spent that money on and I think maybe the parent should jump in and do something, if not I would simply not allow him to go to the pool again. Yes I would listen to his complaining and what not.

next- Are you a babysitter or a daycare provider? If your a provider, then you would have a rule,hand,policy book and contract, with clear expectations from the parents. If you let parents walk all over you that is just what they are going to do.

SA kids can be fun, you just have to keep them very busy and routine and not allow them to say they are bored. If they tell you that they are bored, you need to really demonstrate what being bored is all about. Have them write out their name a 100 times or do a task that is boring. Books, games, arts and crafts, outside time. It might just be that the child needs a summer camp to occupy his time.

A serious sit down with the parent about respect, your rules, and this childs behavior is what you need to do ASAP. This might clear the air, have the child and parent realize that your not going to tolerate certain behaviors and if it continues you will not be able to offer care. You would hate to se that happen.

You have an opportunity to make a difference in this child's life but you have to be up for the challenge of that and if not then it is time to let this one go.

Best-

[My3cents]

First thing is to stay very calm. Stand tall and mean what you say. Decide that you are setting rules and use disciple. School ages are great because there are so many forms of disciple you can make use of. My favorite is long writing assignments.
Keep your stern face and mean business.
If it were me DCB9 would repay me by doing chores. If mom does not back you and does not wish for you to discipline and him to do chores then you have an easy out. "sorry mom but If I can not use discipline then I can't help you by watching your sweet son.
He would do small chores and write an essay of your choice for spending your money. Then NO more swimming. You all lay down and read at nap time. Thanks to DCB9 spending my money I no longer can afford for you all to go.
Each infraction need to be met with calm consequences.

If he swears he will write an essay. If he refuses to write it will be his assignment untill he does.

You are a stong woman that runs a daycare. Pump yourself up and Take charge.
You can do this. School kids need strict limits and they can be tough.
My school boys parents made them finish essays at home if they didn't do it for me. They caught on fast.
They just take a different approach and you must demand respect.
If i have an unruly school kid I can not be fun and silly till I get them under controll, they take advantage.
But they are alot more work.

bingo!!! Nine years old, he was able to return the change to you. Lesson learned- don't do what the parent won't as far as extras like this. I still wouldn't let the child go to the pool unless you or an assistant went. What if this boy hurt another child while there, or something happened while he was swimming?

[Michelle]

it could be that he is doing all this to get kicked out of daycare!
be careful because if you don't term him now, his next move might be making up lies about you!
I don't know why this kid is doing this, but sa kids need a lot to do, get him school math papers, or have him read, play video games, make him the "teacher" of the younger kids, have him and the other kids do a lemonade stand, (take the first $20 he makes)