Capable of Playing Independently?

[Logged out for privacy]

At what age can you expect a child to be capable of playing indepently- while supervised of course?

I have a 4 yr old boy who has been in my program since infancy. He can not be trusted to play anything indepently- ever. He always ends up throwing things (like sensory items) or breaking things intentionally, or will turn everything into a chase then wrestle game.

Am I wrong to think that since the expectations are clear, rules are consistent- and he has been here long enough to know every rule, and my house is safe, a 4 yr old should be able to play (within eyesight and earshot of me) without my continuous feedback/interjection about how and what to do?

[Michael]

Earlier post that may apply: https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=30441

[SilverSabre25]

It's more personality than age, IMO.

Some kids play independently from infancy and never cause trouble.

Some kids grow into adults who should never be left unsupervised.

And sometimes you have both in the same family. So, I chalk it up to personality.

It's pretty darn frustrating though.

[justgettingstarted]

I have one these - 2.5 year old DCB throws toys no matter why I do. As soon as I go into the kitchen even after several warnings I immediately hear toys being flung. I agree with PP, I think it's just in his DNA. He doesn't care for art time, story time, etc he just wants to run, throw and bash! LOL! He has been a real test of my nerves as DS is the complete opposite. I just remind him over and over again and use timeouts when necessary.

[cheerfuldom]

I think playing independently but still supervised....I would expect really any kid to be able to do this for a certain amount of time. Even my 14 month old can zoom around the playroom with only the occasional redirection if she starts doing something dangerous or inappropriate. Some other kids are challenging but breaking things on a regular basis is not okay, nor is throwing or other aggressive behavior.

[Unregistered]

So what do I do then? Not allow him to participate unless I can be right there? Only allow him to play things I know he can do- like books, legos, a few cars (all if no one else is there with him-any other kids and he goes crazy)? Seems like he is already behind developmentally and now he cant experience new things unless I 1 on 1 with him which isnt working in group daycare.

[Meyou]

I would give him a nice soft basket of baby toys to play with for the rest of the day when he throws. If he's an average 4 year old boy he'll figure it out quickly enough and stop. I wouldn't let him get away with throwing anymore so soft toys, shadowing or sitting out depending on what you have to do until he gets it. Just my opinion.

[Blackcat31]

So what do I do then? Not allow him to participate unless I can be right there? Only allow him to play things I know he can do- like books, legos, a few cars (all if no one else is there with him-any other kids and he goes crazy)? Seems like he is already behind developmentally and now he cant experience new things unless I 1 on 1 with him which isnt working in group daycare.

Yes, you need to do what needs to be done to protect the child, the other children and your toys/equipment.

If you aren't in a position to do so then this is where the "I can no longer provide the care this child needs" comes into play.

If a child doesn't fit into your day, your ability to properly care for him and/or with the other kids in your daycare, then you need to term.

Sorry to sound so blunt but just because he needs something you can't give him doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you or your program and good for you for recognizing that.