Term over Potty Training?

[Pammie]

Ok...I've been doing daycare for 23 years now...have helped to potty train dozens of kids successfully and have had to terminate families for many various reasons....but I'm ready to terminate a dc family over "potty training"!

Almost 3yo dcg (will be 3 at the end of the month) has been working on potty training since Spring Break. At the time mom said they were going to start, I told her that I didn't believe dcg was ready -as she never showed any interest in using the potty - didn't care if she was wet/soiled, etc. But mom insisted, so for the week that she was home over spring break, she started, and for the last 8 weeks or so has had only the occasional wet accident...but has never poopied in the potty yet. And has never told me that she "has to go"....although she will hold it and pee on demand when I tell her it's time to go.

Yes, I know some kids take longer to "get" the whole pooping in the potty thing..but this girl just won't...and doesn't care if she would stay the whole day in poop filled pants. She doesn't care. But as the poop won't stay in her pants, I have to clean her up.

I've tried rewards, stickers, extra big girl privileges...you name it...After yesterday of having to put her in the tub yet again to get her clean, I told mom that she could only come back if she was wearing pull-ups - it's not fair to me to have to take so much time away from the other kids to clean her up after she soils her pants...nor is it fair to me to have to scrub my tub every evening after washing her poop off in it. This has gone on for 8 weeks.

Mom reluctantly came in today saying that she was "in pull-ups" and how she hoped that dcg didn't regress because of it. But so far today she's pooped in both pair of pullups that mom sent for the day.

Now, mom's a teacher and has the summer off...but had reserved time for dcg and little brother to come to dc twice a week through the summer.

I'm debating between telling her to take the summer and work one on one with dcg and her potty issues (since obviously I can't give her the one on one attention she needs to be successful with the potty), and once those are resolved and she's using the potty consistently, she's welcome to come back.....or just outright terminating.

Help!! I'll take any and all suggestions!! I'm at my wits end.

[momma2girls]

Ok...I've been doing daycare for 23 years now...have helped to potty train dozens of kids successfully and have had to terminate families for many various reasons....but I'm ready to terminate a dc family over "potty training"!

Almost 3yo dcg (will be 3 at the end of the month) has been working on potty training since Spring Break. At the time mom said they were going to start, I told her that I didn't believe dcg was ready -as she never showed any interest in using the potty - didn't care if she was wet/soiled, etc. But mom insisted, so for the week that she was home over spring break, she started, and for the last 8 weeks or so has had only the occasional wet accident...but has never poopied in the potty yet. And has never told me that she "has to go"....although she will hold it and pee on demand when I tell her it's time to go.

Yes, I know some kids take longer to "get" the whole pooping in the potty thing..but this girl just won't...and doesn't care if she would stay the whole day in poop filled pants. She doesn't care. But as the poop won't stay in her pants, I have to clean her up.

I've tried rewards, stickers, extra big girl privileges...you name it...After yesterday of having to put her in the tub yet again to get her clean, I told mom that she could only come back if she was wearing pull-ups - it's not fair to me to have to take so much time away from the other kids to clean her up after she soils her pants...nor is it fair to me to have to scrub my tub every evening after washing her poop off in it. This has gone on for 8 weeks.

Mom reluctantly came in today saying that she was "in pull-ups" and how she hoped that dcg didn't regress because of it. But so far today she's pooped in both pair of pullups that mom sent for the day.

Now, mom's a teacher and has the summer off...but had reserved time for dcg and little brother to come to dc twice a week through the summer.

I'm debating between telling her to take the summer and work one on one with dcg and her potty issues (since obviously I can't give her the one on one attention she needs to be successful with the potty), and once those are resolved and she's using the potty consistently, she's welcome to come back.....or just outright terminating.

Help!! I'll take any and all suggestions!! I'm at my wits end.

This is what I have placed in my contract over parents like the one your describing- I will assist in potty training, this needs to be started at home, and child making good progress and totally understand the concept of it, before I will assist with it here. Pullups are required til totally potty trained(this means goes on their own without assistance and reminders from myself)

[momofboys]

I would explain to DCM exactly what you have told us. You can't be expected to totally be in charge of the PT, especially if DCD does not exhibit readiness or tell youwhen she needs to go. I would term or ask her to take several weeks off.

[Unregistered]

Ok...I've been doing daycare for 23 years now...have helped to potty train dozens of kids successfully and have had to terminate families for many various reasons....but I'm ready to terminate a dc family over "potty training"!

Almost 3yo dcg (will be 3 at the end of the month) has been working on potty training since Spring Break. At the time mom said they were going to start, I told her that I didn't believe dcg was ready -as she never showed any interest in using the potty - didn't care if she was wet/soiled, etc. But mom insisted, so for the week that she was home over spring break, she started, and for the last 8 weeks or so has had only the occasional wet accident...but has never poopied in the potty yet. And has never told me that she "has to go"....although she will hold it and pee on demand when I tell her it's time to go.

Yes, I know some kids take longer to "get" the whole pooping in the potty thing..but this girl just won't...and doesn't care if she would stay the whole day in poop filled pants. She doesn't care. But as the poop won't stay in her pants, I have to clean her up.

I've tried rewards, stickers, extra big girl privileges...you name it...After yesterday of having to put her in the tub yet again to get her clean, I told mom that she could only come back if she was wearing pull-ups - it's not fair to me to have to take so much time away from the other kids to clean her up after she soils her pants...nor is it fair to me to have to scrub my tub every evening after washing her poop off in it. This has gone on for 8 weeks.

Mom reluctantly came in today saying that she was "in pull-ups" and how she hoped that dcg didn't regress because of it. But so far today she's pooped in both pair of pullups that mom sent for the day.

Now, mom's a teacher and has the summer off...but had reserved time for dcg and little brother to come to dc twice a week through the summer.

I'm debating between telling her to take the summer and work one on one with dcg and her potty issues (since obviously I can't give her the one on one attention she needs to be successful with the potty), and once those are resolved and she's using the potty consistently, she's welcome to come back.....or just outright terminating.

Help!! I'll take any and all suggestions!! I'm at my wits end.

Please dont take offense to this but I agree with Mom she will regress in pull ups as they are just like diapers. A 3 year old is more then capable of using the potty and since she has showed she can pee in the potty she is READY she may be afraid to poop in the potty let her bring a comfort item from home to hold when she sits on the potty such as a doll, blankie, etc. it will help her not be afraid. When I potty train in daycare I tell my parent NO pull ups only for nap time and have them bring me a bag of 5 undies and 5 shorts for the day and I use to just change the accident pants and put fresh ones on them it was never a bother for me.

[Daycare Mommy]

I think you're right Pammie. It should be pull-ups only until she poops in the potty. It's not even like it's an accident...she just doesn't poop in the potty AT ALL right? That's not a potty trained child. The job's only halfway done. I wouldn't term over it. Just insist on the pull ups until she is fully potty trained. That's what I do. Haven't had a kid yet that didn't potty train fully in pull ups during daycare hours including my own.

And I think that'd be great if the mom took the summer to get her daughter the rest of the way there. Don't hold your breath on that though.

[mac60]

Please dont take offense to this but I agree with Mom she will regress in pull ups as they are just like diapers. A 3 year old is more then capable of using the potty and since she has showed she can pee in the potty she is READY she may be afraid to poop in the potty let her bring a comfort item from home to hold when she sits on the potty such as a doll, blankie, etc. it will help her not be afraid. When I potty train in daycare I tell my parent NO pull ups only for nap time and have them bring me a bag of 5 undies and 5 shorts for the day and I use to just change the accident pants and put fresh ones on them it was never a bother for me.

Personally, I think it is gross to allow child after child to "potty train" in a providers home with cloth panties. I can't imagine having accident after accident in my home, on my carpet, furniture, etc. It is one thing potty training your own child in your own home with cloth panties, no way would I ever allow a daycare child to potty train with out a pull up on.

[Pammie]

Please dont take offense to this but I agree with Mom she will regress in pull ups as they are just like diapers. A 3 year old is more then capable of using the potty and since she has showed she can pee in the potty she is READY she may be afraid to poop in the potty let her bring a comfort item from home to hold when she sits on the potty such as a doll, blankie, etc. it will help her not be afraid. When I potty train in daycare I tell my parent NO pull ups only for nap time and have them bring me a bag of 5 undies and 5 shorts for the day and I use to just change the accident pants and put fresh ones on them it was never a bother for me.

Oh I take no offense I was asking for all suggestions!

It's not an issue of being "afraid" to poopie in the potty - she simply doesn't care/doesn't want to. I've dealt with the fear issue many times...and honestly I wish it was that - that I can deal with. But I can't make this little girl care.

My concern IS the general cleanliness of my home for the well-being of everyone else that shares the space here. Which is why I told mom to go to pull-ups - so we're not having leaks all over the place!

As an update....dcg did come in pull-ups yesterday...still did a nice job of peeing on demand into the potty...but poopied in both pairs of pull-ups that I had for her yesterday. Dad did morning drop-offs today (which he's never done in 2.5 years of daycare) , and apologized for his wife. He tells me that since I'm the one that has to deal with this/his daughter every day...they'll do whatever I ask. I was encouraged about that - - although I know that mom is still put-out about the whole switch to pull-ups..but at this point, I don't much care. I've resigned myself to terminating if they don't.

Thanks so much for everyone's opinions!!!!!!!!!!

[momma2girls]

Oh I take no offense I was asking for all suggestions!

It's not an issue of being "afraid" to poopie in the potty - she simply doesn't care/doesn't want to. I've dealt with the fear issue many times...and honestly I wish it was that - that I can deal with. But I can't make this little girl care.

My concern IS the general cleanliness of my home for the well-being of everyone else that shares the space here. Which is why I told mom to go to pull-ups - so we're not having leaks all over the place!

As an update....dcg did come in pull-ups yesterday...still did a nice job of peeing on demand into the potty...but poopied in both pairs of pull-ups that I had for her yesterday. Dad did morning drop-offs today (which he's never done in 2.5 years of daycare) , and apologized for his wife. He tells me that since I'm the one that has to deal with this/his daughter every day...they'll do whatever I ask. I was encouraged about that - - although I know that mom is still put-out about the whole switch to pull-ups..but at this point, I don't much care. I've resigned myself to terminating if they don't.

Thanks so much for everyone's opinions!!!!!!!!!!

If they are still pooping and peeing in pullups, I would ask parents to provide diapers, they hold so much more, and alot easier to change if poopy!!!!