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I've had a back and forth with a parent over my rate increase for next year, and I decided NOT to lower my rate for one family, as I didn't think it'd be fair to everyone else. We've got two weeks left, and I'm sure that there will be hard feelings. I'm wondering, how do you all deal with angry parents?
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I'm usually overly sweet but unbending when it comes to things like this. Parents realize that they aren't getting anywhere but can't complain about me being rude or anything. They kind of know that I'm being overly sweet on purpose but I've never had anyone call me out on it.
Judytrickett mentioned that she learned a method from someone else (I'm thinking her name is Pam but might be remembering wrong). She just stares at the parents in order to allow for an awkward silence. Then the parent usually backs down. She could explain it to you better I'm sure.Proverbs 12:1
A reminder to myself when I resist learning something new. -
kindness,... sickningly sweet fake heavily sugarcoated kindness. Like the orange soda drink for the gestational diabetes test while pergnant. OVERLY SWEET. Just keep thinking of how it will be when they are gone. =-)Comment
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I don't. I don't care if they are angry. It's my business and I run it the way I see fit. Rate increases are a normal event in life. How do they advise you pay for the additional fees for groceries, electricity and water that you provide FOR the use of their child if you do not raise your fees to reflect the fees of everything else?
I don't deal with them. I terminate them and make them someone else's problem. There are not enough hours in the day to consume my time with parents like this.
There are too many daycare fish in the sea to settle for "angry parents".
They just don't like the fact that they didn't get their way. Oh well, too bad so sad. That's life.Comment
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I don't deal with angry parents either, not that I have had many. I think maybe twice in 13 years I have had to use it, but I just say " If my policies and rates do not meet the needs of your family, you are welcome to find care that offers what you need. Be sure to provide me with the required notice if you choose to do so."
That simple. No one is MAKING them stay with you. If they value you as their provider, they will walk away with their tail between their legs and never mention it again.Comment
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Same here. Anyone is acting untrusting or angry at me long-term they get termed. I try to act like I have thick skin, but I really don't and I won't be made to feel like crap in my own home because they are unhappy over something I can't or won't change.Comment
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Yup I do this too sometimes and it works great. I mean what are you supposed to do? Go broke? But seriously this method works great. I had a mom that knew that I was going to be closed last Monday for the holiday but didn't find alternate care or request the day off or anything and she came by and was all gun-ho that I would be willing to watch her kid and only her kid that day. She told me while I was telling her about vacation days that I'll be taking next month.
This is how she approached it "So Monday you're closed but since your'e not doing anything except hanging out at your house I didn't see a problem with you watchin "kids name here". I mean you'll be here anyway." I turned back to look at her .... long pause with a straight face (I think an eyebrow may have involuntarily raised) ..... still looking at her ..... and then you can see her get physically uncomfortable and shift her weight to her other foot ... "Or not" she said slowly. I then smiled ... "Great. So vacations. I was telling you that I have the dates of my vacation ..." And that was that. Total awsomeness.Comment
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::::: I love it! One of my parents saw the reminder note today about me being closed tomorrow for my conference. She "didnt know about it". It has been ...
1. On the yearly calendar handed out in January
2. On the monthly newsletter for the last 2 months
3. On a reminder note sent home last week.
If you cant figure it out with all that... all I can say is WOW!
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If they're all bent out of shape about it, they'll find a new daycare.
But, I'm betting that the rate increase is petty in the overall budget.....they may have to skip a Starbucks once a week to even everything out. Or maybe download one less ringtone.
Or just be a wise elbow, and say "Well, I can keep your rate the same, but your kids will spend the summer in the spare bedroom which isn't air conditioned, and you'll have to dress them extra warm this winter, as I'll be setting the thermostat at 55 to make up for the lost revenue"::
If they're angry over a small rate increase, I'd bet they got some anger related blood pressure concerns due to life in general.Spouse of a daycare provider....which I guess makes me one too!
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Could I get you to donate some of your backbone to me? I really, really want to be as firm and confident as you. I keep getting stuck on the "sweet as apple pie" thing and then it backfires and they act like I'm not nice enough. I want to stop being a doormat. Do you have an intervention program or something?Comment
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In general, it's best not to apologize, EVER, about giving hard facts about the business end of your job. Keep it short and sweet, and if they have questions, just keep in mind that they more than likely already know the answer- they will test you and push it if they 'sense weakness'...kinda reminds you of our shorter clients at times, no?
Just like with kids, try to stay one step ahead, and have those questions answered in your head before they get asked.
Here is my formula for a backbone-
Example:
Parent: "What do you mean my rate is going up?!? I can't afford that. We have blahblahblahblah to pay for... You didn't say it would go up blahblahblah"
You: "Yes, that's right. The rate increase is due to a rising cost to provide the same level of quality for 'Jenny'. It would be nice if it weren't so expensive to heat the house, or even buy a gallon of milk these days, heh heh, but after a close look at the financials, I just don't see how we can continue to stay open at this rate."
Parent: "Well what if (insert self-serving suggestion here) instead?"
You: (Give one of my 2 favorite answers- "Aw, That wouldbe nice, wouldn't it!" or "That's good to know, thank you.") And dismiss it with the awkward silence routine.Comment
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I had a hard parent to deal with early this spring, when I went from unlicensed to licensed. I raised my rates on the half day only children from $10.00 to $20.00.
This parent was so mad!! Came straight to me and said that it would be a 20% percent raise (for his family) I told him that given my expenses and considering all the other families I will do business with in the future I simply can't accept $10.00 for a half day. If I can't do it in the future I can't do it now. This family pushed so hard for me to get licensed so they could claim me on their taxes.... Then parent asked was it "Nogoshable" I told them "No" It's my business, I will be paying taxes and insurances on it so this is the way it is. This person in the next breath said well I think you should have given more vacation time... Oy!
I give 2 weeks vacation-UNPAID. I myself take 3 weeks. That gives each family 5 weeks of not paying their daycare! I have a backup encase my families can't find alternative care for their children but my off days were set in January when I gave my families their contracts! Way enough time.
Some people will never be happy! But such is life
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