I Need Help With How To Proceed. Too Mad To Think Clearly-HELP!

[MarinaVanessa]

Sounds to me like you need to update you sickness policy to add that the symptoms for exclusion apply even for infants that are teething. I also like the idea of adding that the WHY doesn't matter, it's the WHAT that does. You may want to add that also ... I know I will.

As far as talking to them ... that's another thing altogether. I don't like confrontation as much as the next person but at this point it seems like it has to be done so good for you for making this decision and sticking to it.

I would just reiderate what CheekyChick said in her sample letter. Pretty much just verbally tell them what's in the letter word for word and don't veer off what it says. If they ask why (and they will) just repeat yourself and give short general answers with a compassionate smile. It'll be akward for you but you'll get through it.

YOU: Susan, you have a minute?
DCM: Sure, what's up?
YOU: You know that I have loved working with you and having Johnny here has been a blast (no pun indended). He's so sweet and adorable and I love having him here. I have realized with my pregnancy and new baby on the way that I must cut down on enrollment. I am giving you two weeks to find new arrangements which means that I will no longer be able to care for Johnny after June 1, 2012.
DCM: Oh, what do you mean? You can't watch Johnny anymore?
YOU: (shake your head) No, unfortunately.
DCM: Why?
YOU: I have realized with my pregnancy and new baby on the way that I must cut down on enrollment.
DCM: Well, can't you watch him a little longer? What if I can't find DC in that time?
YOU: I am giving you two weeks to find new arrangements which means that I will no longer be able to care for Johnny after June 1, 2012.
Rinse and repeat.
She'll get the point.

[SunshineMama]

LOL "A Blast"

Glad I can get a few laughs out of this situation. It has been quite the "blast"!

Sounds to me like you need to update you sickness policy to add that the symptoms for exclusion apply even for infants that are teething. I also like the idea of adding that the WHY doesn't matter, it's the WHAT that does. You may want to add that also ... I know I will.

As far as talking to them ... that's another thing altogether. I don't like confrontation as much as the next person but at this point it seems like it has to be done so good for you for making this decision and sticking to it.

I would just reiderate what CheekyChick said in her sample letter. Pretty much just verbally tell them what's in the letter word for word and don't veer off what it says. If they ask why (and they will) just repeat yourself and give short general answers with a compassionate smile. It'll be akward for you but you'll get through it.

YOU: Susan, you have a minute?
DCM: Sure, what's up?
YOU: You know that I have loved working with you and having Johnny here has been a blast (no pun indended). He's so sweet and adorable and I love having him here. I have realized with my pregnancy and new baby on the way that I must cut down on enrollment. I am giving you two weeks to find new arrangements which means that I will no longer be able to care for Johnny after June 1, 2012.
DCM: Oh, what do you mean? You can't watch Johnny anymore?
YOU: (shake your head) No, unfortunately.
DCM: Why?
YOU: I have realized with my pregnancy and new baby on the way that I must cut down on enrollment.
DCM: Well, can't you watch him a little longer? What if I can't find DC in that time?
YOU: I am giving you two weeks to find new arrangements which means that I will no longer be able to care for Johnny after June 1, 2012.
Rinse and repeat.
She'll get the point.

[daycare]

I feel very strongly that it is definitely some sort of a virus, and it had a VERY specific smell to it.

I have suggested the doctor to them and they still maintain it is teething and/or food. Every excuse in the book. I can't even get them to call the doctor.

Really, I'm terming the parents, because it's not the child's fault

YOu need to put your foot down...I know you want to get them out the door, but this is your house and your business. If the child came in the door today and had one episode, I would be demanding that they come pick him up. If they don't then call emergency contacts.



I would be telling them WHY, as others posted.....Then, in the future, I would be telling them that the DCK CANNOT come back until they give you a doctors note stating what the child has. NOT a note saying DCK can return to care or a note saying NOT contagious.

Tell them that you need to do this to keep all children safe, including theirs.

[Ariana]

I would come at this from a pregnancy angle personally. I would tell her that you need to term because you are pregnant and are not willing to take the chance of getting a bacterial infection from changing "loose stools" all the time. Make it all about you. Parents tend to take this type of termination a little better.

[Sugar Magnolia]

If you want to stay on good terms, I would write a note like this:

Dear DCM,

It has been a pleasure working with your adorable son over the past (BLANK) months. He is truly a special little boy. Unfortunately, I have realized with my pregnancy and new baby on the way that I must cut down on enrollment. I am giving you two weeks to find new arrangements which means that I will no longer be able to care for "poopy boy" after June 1, 2012.

Warm regards,
Sick of sickies

Love this! Perfect! "poopy pants" cracks me up!

[MizzCheryl]

I had one of these a few years ago. Once He no longer came we all stopped getting sick. He brought in the stomach bug 4 times in less than 6 months!!!!!!!!

Same awful offensive smell each time. I got to the point I could smell the virus on him when he came in the door. She always claimed he was fine. But then Bam a blow out.
It is so nice. I haven't had a stomah flu since he has been gone. KNOCK on wood!
Tell her the truth so she can learn something! Don't bring your kid sick.

[SunshineMama]

I just called them to pick him up. He got more diaharrea all over the PNP and himself again and I had to even bathe him. Im giving their 2 weeks when they come. And no, he can't come tomorrow. Im so done.

I wrote them a note in their book that said even if it is teething or food related, stools that cant be contained in a diaper are not allowed per licensing. I'm not licensed but I still abide by their guidelines. I also suggested they have him tested for food allergies if they think its food, and take a stool sample in to the doctors. And I am handing them the separate term letter.

PHEW! Thank you all for the strength to do this!

YOu need to put your foot down...I know you want to get them out the door, but this is your house and your business. If the child came in the door today and had one episode, I would be demanding that they come pick him up. If they don't then call emergency contacts.



I would be telling them WHY, as others posted.....Then, in the future, I would be telling them that the DCK CANNOT come back until they give you a doctors note stating what the child has. NOT a note saying DCK can return to care or a note saying NOT contagious.

Tell them that you need to do this to keep all children safe, including theirs.

[Unregistered]

Before terming, I would demand a doctors note- explain your policies clear to the parents once again and offer up that being pregnant you will not deviate from your clear rules. If you truly just want to down size then by all means do it. If you want care for this child figure out what is wrong with them and EXPECT the parents to help you do this, having them take him do the doctor, allergy testing, picking him up when you are not able to take him because of his illness.

If it is not a virus- I feel it sounds like lactose intolerant, or food allergy. Teething will cause lose stools- I don't care what the doctors say on this. I know from experience that kids that are teething often have lose bowels. Regardless, you need to speak up and enforce your rules. You have one half hour to pick up little pooper or I will calling your back up care and I will term from that point on. That will let her know that you mean business. Respecting you is something that needs to be talked about in the interview phase. Working together for the good of the child not seeing each other as enemies. I mean we all know our parents have to work and that is why the child is with us, so to send a child home for no reason in counterproductive on our part. I know there are times we would love too!!! Professionally we don't do that, if I call you to come get your child it is for a reason and for the whole of the group. Don't ever let a parent walk on you. You are the boss of your business! Best-

I personally put up with mild lose stools--- fever to go with it- no way- marked illness- no way. I myself am also mildly lactose intolerant.

[CheekyChick]

Lol I needed that laugh (poopy boy)! Good letter! What do I say to the parents? I don't want to just stick a letter in his bag. I'm a non confrontational chicken but I am going to stand my ground on this one.

What do you say to the parents... Ugh. I am a non-confrontational chicken as well. That is definitely an area I need to work on.

If you really, really, really can't find the strength to do it in person, I would e-mail this to her NOW.

Dear DCM,

It has been a pleasure working with your adorable son over the past (BLANK) months. He is truly a special little boy. Unfortunately, I have realized with my pregnancy and new baby on the way that I must cut down on enrollment. I am giving you two weeks to find new arrangements which means that I will no longer be able to care for "poopy boy" after June 1, 2012.

I am sending you this letter by e-mail which will be followed by a paper copy upon pick up. After making my decision today, I felt it was only fair to alert you immediately as to give you the optimal amount of time to begin your search.


Warm regards,
Sick of sickies

PS: By the time she picks up tonight, she will have had time to digest the letter and won't be as upset as if you were to tell her in person. I hope. LOL!!!

[SunshineMama]

I had one of these a few years ago. Once He no longer came we all stopped getting sick. He brought in the stomach bug 4 times in less than 6 months!!!!!!!!

Same awful offensive smell each time. I got to the point I could smell the virus on him when he came in the door. She always claimed he was fine. But then Bam a blow out.
It is so nice. I haven't had a stomah flu since he has been gone. KNOCK on wood!
Tell her the truth so she can learn something! Don't bring your kid sick.

I can smell it too! I was an almost 100% never sick daycare ever, and since he has come everyone has been sick with so many different things. Hes a great kid but I am not exposing myself, my unborn child, or the several other children that I care for. I have addressed sending to the doctor in the past and they always brush it off.

Unregistered: I have heard of teething causing mildly loose stools- this child's stools are liquid yellow water, have that virusy smell, and have been ongoing all week. This is the 5th or 6th time in 6 months this has ocurred, and everytime at least one other child gets ill as well. This particular child has a very low immune system and catches everything, which, coupled with his parents always taking him everywhere, just is a recipe for illness all around. What they want to do eith their child is fine, but I just can't have that in my home.

[MizzCheryl]

I can smell it too! I was an almost 100% never sick daycare ever, and since he has come everyone has been sick with so many different things. Hes a great kid but I am not exposing myself, my unborn child, or the several other children that I care for. I have addressed sending to the doctor in the past and they always brush it off.

Unregistered: I have heard of teething causing mildly loose stools- this child's stools are liquid yellow water, have that virusy smell, and have been ongoing all week. This is the 5th or 6th time in 6 months this has ocurred, and everytime at least one other child gets ill as well. This particular child has a very low immune system and catches everything, which, coupled with his parents always taking him everywhere, just is a recipe for illness all around. What they want to do eith their child is fine, but I just can't have that in my home.

If it has an offensive odor it is a bug!! always.
I mean it all stinks but there is a difference.
Some people are more prone to stomach bugs that ARE contagious for varios reasons.. ie low immune system, nastiness, poor hygene, poor food prep habits and also hanging out with these sorts of people on top of the regular just catchin a bug.


If it is okay with your doc you might take some Vitamin D to keep your self from catching it. Seeing as you were covered in it.
I term this child also.

[SunshineMama]

If it has an offensive odor it is a bug!! always.
I mean it all stinks but there is a difference.
Some people are more prone to stomach bugs that ARE contagious for varios reasons.. ie low immune system, nastiness, poor hygene, poor food prep habits and also hanging out with these sorts of people on top of the regular just catchin a bug.


If it is okay with your doc you might take some Vitamin D to keep your self from catching it. Seeing as you were covered in it.
I term this child also.

Agreed- there is a particular sick stench that you just know when it is a bug when you have been doing childcare for so long.

Now I am waiting, going on an hour for them to get him, during my break time again

Im glad I made the decision to term. I am so done.

[WImom]

I don't know if I'd give 2 weeks especially since they are now taking a long time to pick him up. I'd just be done with him today!!

Sorry your going through this.

[SunshineMama]

I don't know if I'd give 2 weeks especially since they are now taking a long time to pick him up. I'd just be done with him today!!

Sorry your going through this.

If I didn't have 2 weeks in my contract I would be done today

[daycare]

do you have a time limit in our PHB about sick pick up??