Flaky DCM

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  • Kristina
    New Daycare.com Member
    • Mar 2012
    • 10

    Flaky DCM

    Hi everyone! I'm new to the forum

    I've been caring for this family since November, and they've been giving me grief lately. DCM is really playing up the " poor single mom in school" card, and wants me to try to make special deals for her. IE- not paying if dcg isn't here, cutting her slack on late payments. I don't cut my current families any slack and with all of that, it's hard to even feel like I ought to cut her any slack.

    DCG is here MWF 8-12 and TTH 10-1. She is 20 mos. She started hitting my dd and ds about a month ago. I wrote mom a note and told her what was going on. 3 Strikes / out. On Friday, she pushed a little boy, tried to bite him, and as I told her "no," she slapped me. She's continually gotten more aggressive. I sent home a probation notice that night saying that dcg has 2 weeks to shape up or she's gone.

    But the thing is, is that all the evidence doesn't point to her being a "poor single mom in school." Kid wears new Gymboree and Children's Place clothing. Mom has Victoria's Secret make up and Mary Kay in the diaper bag. Claims she doesn't have a job, and according to her background check, she lives at the same house as DCG dad. And she told me that he was no longer around. Drives a new Camry.

    And then at pick up today, she says that she thought about it some more, and she wants me to watch DCG more.

    I'm SO tempted to term at the end of the probation period. All the crazy issues with the policies and then the aggressive DCG. WWYD?
  • Blackcat31
    • Oct 2010
    • 36124

    #2
    Welcome to the forum!

    Comment

    • Kristina
      New Daycare.com Member
      • Mar 2012
      • 10

      #3
      Thanks, Blackcat

      Comment

      • daycare
        Advanced Daycare.com *********
        • Feb 2011
        • 16259

        #4
        Stand by your policies... I am going through the same thing right now. I don't care what your problem is, it's not going to become mine.

        DOn't let their problems become yours. If she can't follow the rules, then term. I would not keep a child like this around, too risky.

        I would let them go and find a better family that follows the rules and has a nice child.

        I am never quick to term and always want to try to resolve issues, but there are just way to many issues here....

        Hope this was helpful

        Comment

        • Christian Mother
          Advanced Daycare.com Member
          • Feb 2011
          • 875

          #5
          Welcome!!

          I think it's really hard when kids are part time and on odd schedules. When their young they need a set schedule. Behavior can be the age as I experience that a lot with my littles at that age and it's just about keeping on them and expressing "we don't do that here"..over and over and I know it seems repetitive but some children are just more determined or strong willed. I think doing daycare give us a "Patience Card"!!

          You already established a good back bone so keep on with your rules. Being firm but courteous hopefully will send her the right message and be respectful to your rules. Good luck!!

          Comment

          • Bella99
            Just Starting Out!
            • Mar 2012
            • 108

            #6
            She seems like a huge hassle, and I bet her daughters actions wouldn't seem as bad if she wasn't so..irritating. I'd term her, you don't need to put up with her BS, and I don't know where she thinks the rules don't apply to her? :confused:

            Comment

            • Kristina
              New Daycare.com Member
              • Mar 2012
              • 10

              #7
              Originally posted by Christian Mother
              Welcome!!

              I think it's really hard when kids are part time and on odd schedules. When their young they need a set schedule. Behavior can be the age as I experience that a lot with my littles at that age and it's just about keeping on them and expressing "we don't do that here"..over and over and I know it seems repetitive but some children are just more determined or strong willed. I think doing daycare give us a "Patience Card"!!

              You already established a good back bone so keep on with your rules. Being firm but courteous hopefully will send her the right message and be respectful to your rules. Good luck!!
              I talked to dcm about this on Friday, and how being at daycare more might help her learn the discipline and rules better. Maybe that's where mom thought it might be a good idea to keep her more.

              I'm not trying to judge her, and I apologize if that's what it sounded like in my first post. I've been a single mom before and knew how hard it was. Consignment shop clothes, couponing for food, and an old car that we would have to pray to get it to go.

              Comment

              • sharlan
                Daycare.com Member
                • May 2011
                • 6067

                #8
                Grandma can be buying the clothes. I know that I sure go broke buying clothes for the grandkids.

                I have a single mom going to school. Dad is in the pic, but they don't live together. I lost the kids last week because Mom just couldn't pay me anymore. I got a call from her tonight asking if I would take the kids back for one day a week and could she pay me once a month when she gets paid. I fell so in love with the kids, that I would ALMOST be willing to take them for free.

                I told her as long as I didn't have someone to fill those slots, I'd take them back.

                Comment

                • Christian Mother
                  Advanced Daycare.com Member
                  • Feb 2011
                  • 875

                  #9
                  I have a little lady that comes a few times a wk and she is such a job mom and dad are young but respectful. They have fallen on tough times and dad just left to look for work out of state. She is staying with her mom. She pays me for at diff. odd times. Sometimes it's hard but she has always asked permission and I am willing to work with her. She has never skipped out on payment and you know what makes it all worth it is that she tells me how much she appreciates me and loves her daughter in my care. Not that she has to say or but that I feel like she generally means it. Those are the reason why I put up with the rules being broken. Not to mention she throws in a late fee charge which I just give back to you bc she was thoughtful in doing it in the first place.

                  I know sometimes it feel awful to be taken advantaged off and never hear that your making a diff. in their life's and their childs. I wouldn't want to except these things if I didn't have these parents appreciating me kwim?

                  Comment

                  • SunshineMama
                    Advanced Daycare.com Member
                    • Jan 2012
                    • 1575

                    #10
                    The best advice I continually read on this forum is to not let their problem become yours. You have to do what you need for your family and business first.

                    Comment

                    • Kristina
                      New Daycare.com Member
                      • Mar 2012
                      • 10

                      #11
                      Originally posted by SunshineMama
                      The best advice I continually read on this forum is to not let their problem become yours. You have to do what you need for your family and business first.
                      I have I absolutely love this forum. This family is just a conundrum, and I wanted advice.

                      Christian Mother, I'd love to work with her and the little girl. But I don't being lied to and disrespected. I've bent the rules before. But I never got a "thank you" or anything. She's flat out told me that she thinks I'm "just a SAHM" that looks after kids. If I had her more than just a few hours a day, I think I could seriously see improvement with the aggressiveness.

                      Thank you all for your advice! We will see how this probation period goes.

                      Comment

                      • MrsB
                        Daycare.com Member
                        • Jan 2012
                        • 589

                        #12
                        Oh geez, I think we have all had one of these families, at one time or another.

                        She probably doesnt say thank you, because she doesnt realize you are doing anything special. It is just expected at this point. I know it is hard, but a backbone is the solution to this problem.

                        Good for you on putting them on probation!

                        Comment

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