Throwing Out Pacis And Lovies, Blankets, Etc..

[momma2girls]

Ok, I have been providing childcare for many, many yrs. and this is about the only 4th time, I have ever dealt with this!! UGH!! I have a little 2 yr. old that is constantly throwing out his lovie and his paci now. It was 8 times in total yesterday!!! I told his Mom I think it is time to get rid of the paci and lovie. They will never do it, he has it in 24/7 for them. He only receives it at nap time here!! What is really bad, he screams bloody murder til I give it back to him!!! I let him scream, to see if he would stop and go back to sleep, and he didn't each time!! He was just doing it about once a week before this and that was it!! We will see if he has started a new trend, because he will not be getting it at all, if this is the case!!! He shouldn't even have it, beings he is close to 2 in the first place!!
He is in a bedroom, right next to two other toddler and another preschooler!! So Fri. no one got much sleep!! If it continues to do this, I am just going to take it away from him, and not give it back- UGHH!!! I hope it goes better than Fri. went!!! His Mom said he doesn't do this very much at all at home. Just once in awhile. I know I told her that is what he started with here, and now it is a game!!! Anyone else dealt with this? ANy suggestions???

[Blackcat31]

I am assumming he is sleeping in a PNP and that is why he is able to "throw it out"?

Can you try to transistion him to a mat or cot? It sounds to me like he is throwing them out to get attention and he is succeeding too!

A 2 yr old, IMO, is plenty old enough to be told that if he throws it out, you will NOT be getting it for him.

Then again, a 2 year old should have been weaned from the paci a long time ago too.

I also have my kiddos on mats/cots long before age 2, but that is just me.

I guess, I don't have much advice besides telling him that you will NOT be retrieving his tossed items. Maybe his tossing them is his way of telling you he is ready to not be in a PNP.

I personally would tell mom that since this is an issue at care now, that she should really consider weaning him.

Interested in hearing what others will suggest.....

[momma2girls]

I am assumming he is sleeping in a PNP and that is why he is able to "throw it out"?

Can you try to transistion him to a mat or cot? It sounds to me like he is throwing them out to get attention and he is succeeding too!

A 2 yr old, IMO, is plenty old enough to be told that if he throws it out, you will NOT be getting it for him.

Then again, a 2 year old should have been weaned from the paci a long time ago too.

I also have my kiddos on mats/cots long before age 2, but that is just me.

I guess, I don't have much advice besides telling him that you will NOT be retrieving his tossed items. Maybe his tossing them is his way of telling you he is ready to not be in a PNP.

I personally would tell mom that since this is an issue at care now, that she should really consider weaning him.

Interested in hearing what others will suggest.....

No, I wish I could- he is developmentally behind. He never sat up like a normal baby at all. He crawed at about 11 months, and walked at about 21 months. He will be 2 in April- he will definately not be ready for the mat for quite awhile. He is about at a 14 month old level right now. He says about 10 words, and that is it. I blame it on the pacifier being in his mouth 24/7 at his parents house. I only have it here at naptime only. This was very hard for the Mom to even take that away here!! UGHHH!!!

[momma2girls]

I am assumming he is sleeping in a PNP and that is why he is able to "throw it out"?

Can you try to transistion him to a mat or cot? It sounds to me like he is throwing them out to get attention and he is succeeding too!

A 2 yr old, IMO, is plenty old enough to be told that if he throws it out, you will NOT be getting it for him.

Then again, a 2 year old should have been weaned from the paci a long time ago too.

I also have my kiddos on mats/cots long before age 2, but that is just me.

I guess, I don't have much advice besides telling him that you will NOT be retrieving his tossed items. Maybe his tossing them is his way of telling you he is ready to not be in a PNP.

I personally would tell mom that since this is an issue at care now, that she should really consider weaning him.

Interested in hearing what others will suggest.....

I told her - "well I think it is time to get rid of the pacifier and lovie now" She won't do it at all. He has it at her house 24/7- he screams there and they have always gave into it there. He is so develpmentally behind as well. He acts like about a 14 month old!! He could never be put on a mat, that would be a nightmare!!

[nannyde]

You know the answer.

No paci or lovey in your house. You will have a week or so of crying but it will be worth it.

Doesn't matter what they do at home. I wouldn't even bring it up.

I don't use binkies or loveys so I don't have to deal with removing them. I have a lot of kids that are addicted to them at home and have them from the moment they get in the car until they get out of the car here the next day.

They all do very well here without them. The attachment and ****y stuff are for the adults. It's not for the child.

[DCMom]

Here, they would get one warning, if they toss either out a second time they don't get it back. If it happens more than a few days it would be gone for good because they obviously don't want it or need it.

I agree with Blackcat, at two they could be on a cot or mat. On their second birthday they officially move to a mat here. It's a big deal and we make a big deal about it!

[momma2girls]

Here, they would get one warning, if they toss either out a second time they don't get it back. If it happens more than a few days it would be gone for good because they obviously don't want it or need it.

I agree with Blackcat, at two they could be on a cot or mat. On their second birthday they officially move to a mat here. It's a big deal and we make a big deal about it!

yeah, I agree, they should be, but that is not always the case. This little boy is behind by quite a bit, so he won't be able to be on a mat for quite sometime!! I usually have them out for sure by the age of 2 1/2-3 yrs. for sure. Some children are just not developmentally ready for a mat or blanket. Plus where I lay my older ones, is in the main room, full of toys, etc...

[momma2girls]

We'll see what happens this week with him.. He definately will not be doing what he did Fri. I can guarantee that!!!

[Blackcat31]

We'll see what happens this week with him.. He definately will not be doing what he did Fri. I can guarantee that!!!

Does he sleep in a separate room away from the other kids? Could you "tough it out" with him and just put him in the PNP and maybe not even give the paci/lovie to him and then just let him CIO until he sleeps? Or even just give him the paci/lovie at first and when he throws it out, just ignore it and let him CIO so he learns you are NOT going to keep playing fetch with him.
Maybe play some white noise or music (a little louder than normal) so the other kids can't hear him and let him disturb them.

I do think that mom is going to do what mom is going to do and the poor kid will probably have the paci until he heads off to kindy, but what can you really do right? I guess, Nan is right that you can only control whathappens at your house so I would simply just worry about that and ignore what happens at home in this case.

Treat is like a new kid in a trial period and do what you would in that scenario. I bet after a week or two of some tough love, he will be a great sleeper. If not, it may be time to let him go...for EVERYONE'S sanity and peace and quiet.

Ugh! I feel for you, I HATE nap issues. Even more than nap issues, I hate paci/lovie attachment issues...

[momma2girls]

Does he sleep in a separate room away from the other kids? Could you "tough it out" with him and just put him in the PNP and maybe not even give the paci/lovie to him and then just let him CIO until he sleeps? Or even just give him the paci/lovie at first and when he throws it out, just ignore it and let him CIO so he learns you are NOT going to keep playing fetch with him.
Maybe play some white noise or music (a little louder than normal) so the other kids can't hear him and let him disturb them.

I do think that mom is going to do what mom is going to do and the poor kid will probably have the paci until he heads off to kindy, but what can you really do right? I guess, Nan is right that you can only control whathappens at your house so I would simply just worry about that and ignore what happens at home in this case.

Treat is like a new kid in a trial period and do what you would in that scenario. I bet after a week or two of some tough love, he will be a great sleeper. If not, it may be time to let him go...for EVERYONE'S sanity and peace and quiet.

Ugh! I feel for you, I HATE nap issues. Even more than nap issues, I hate paci/lovie attachment issues...

I do also!!! He is in a seperate bedroom already, but right next to the 2 others in another bedroom. So needless to say Fri. noone slept good at all that day!! I did try to let him CIO, but he screams so loud, until I gave it back to him. I tried it each time, but the more I let him cry, no one could sleep. I just wish I had somewhere to sleep that I could let him CIO, but I don't-

[Blackcat31]

In that case, it may be time to tell mom that her child is disrupting EVERYONE and you cannot allow on child to do that so she can either fix this issue herself, find alternate care or come get him everyday at nap time and give him a nap elsewhere and then bring him back.

I know that those are not all realistic options but when I have an issue at daycare that I am unable to control or one that has a bad effect on the other kids, I give the problem back to the person who either caused it or to who it belongs to and in this case it is mom.

Did you tell her the issues you are having? Does she know her child is causing the rest of the kids to not be able to nap? What does she think you should do?

Maybe you should do like Nannyde says and tell mom that you will hire someone to sit next to his PNP and keep gving him his paci and lovie back for the entire nap time so that everyone can sleep in peace but that the mom will have to pay for this additional staff member...unless she wants to wean him and/or fix his need to sleep with those things.

I know she says he doesn't have those issues at home but the real issue is that he needs the paci in the first place so she needs to wean him at home so he can sleep without them at daycare.

[momma2girls]

yeah, I totally agree with you. We will see how it goes this week. It just started happening alot on Fri. so we will see-I know it is totally ridiculous!!

[Meyou]

Interesting thread for me. I have a 20 month old DCG who tried the throw the lovey game with me about 2 months ago. I don't play. I went in and told her, "Thank you! You must not want these(little doll and soother) since they're on the floor. Have a good sleep, darling!!" Then I left with both things. She cried hard for about 20 minutes and then fell back to sleep. She's never thrown again AND clutches her dolly as if her life depends on it when I put her to bed now so she doesn't drop her. ::

BUT at home Mom and Dad have been playing an all night long fetch the soother game since then because they didn't take my advice and tell her no when she started the monkey business. They aren't sleeping and she's throwing 8-10 times per night. I just told them again on Friday to tell her no and let her cry since they want it to stop.

[SunshineMama]

I have 3 sets of parents who do the paci/lovey thing with their kids (ages 15mos-3.5 years). I only allow the 15 month old to have his at naptime, and when he spits it out I do not get it for him, even if he cries for it (which he does not do anymore). I confiscate all pacis and loveys from the 2.5 and 3.5 (yes, 3.5) year olds- they know that I dont allow that and they put it in their bags as soon as they enter the door.

Can you move the PNP away from the others until the child gets used to not having it at naptime?

I would definitely take it away though- now that it is causing the other kids issues you dont really have a choice.

[countrymom]

I've had lots of kids that don't have anything here but at home they are addicted to their loveys.

today I would lay him down without it, it will be a long day, but everyday it will get better. I wouldn't show him his loveys at all. If they want to play the game at home all day then let them. But I would hide them in your house. What does mom say about him being behind.