Developing at Different Rates

[Unregistered]

I have been working with kids of all ages for a very long time. I have a child that is just about to turn 3 next month. He is a very very big child for his age, in both height and weight.
He pronounces his words very well, but still is in the mindset of an almost 3 year old child. His gross motor skills both large and small are behind, as is most of everything else.

I don't feel that there is anything developmentally wrong with this child, I just think that the parents are extremely lazy in their parenting which has kept him very very far behind where he should be for his age. I know that all kids develop at different rates and therefore I just try my hardest to be patient.

One of the things that I struggle with the most is hi listening and following directions. If I tell child" it's time to wash your hands" or shorten my words and tell him "Wash your hands" he will look at me as if I am crazy. I have a 1 year old that is able to follow through with this, but not this kid. He has been with me for almost 5 months now.

Overall, the child is well behaved, plays well most of the time with the other kids, is very sweet and loving towards me and I enjoy him. Well sometimes.

I am starting to loose my patience and that is the last thing that I want to do. I have tried everything under the sun with this child. I am sure some of you on here have had this experience with some of your daycare children and I am hoping that you can throw some adivce my way on how I can work with this child better and keep my patience as well. thank you.

[countrymom]

I have one like this too. I found the only way to get his attention was to yell, so I'm suspecting some hearing loss. Now mom has said she has brought him in to have his ears tested but I didn't believe her because she couldn't tell me what they did (I had my dd tested so I knew) I think the problem also is that they have never been told or shown how to do things. Like when I say clean up, this kid goes and plays even thou everyone else his age cleans up. I know at home, he never ever has to clean up so he doesn't know what this means.

[Ariana]

Yes I do deal with this child every single day....it's my own daughter!! LOL My DCK's listen to me all the time but my own DD is very testing of my patience. When I ask her to wash her hands I have to let her bring the toys she was playing with to "save them". I do this with all the DCK's if I'm interrupting play to get them to do something. Maybe that might work?

[Blackcat31]

Yes I do deal with this child every single day....it's my own daughter!! LOL My DCK's listen to me all the time but my own DD is very testing of my patience. When I ask her to wash her hands I have to let her bring the toys she was playing with to "save them". I do this with all the DCK's if I'm interrupting play to get them to do something. Maybe that might work?

This is the main idea of Montessori teaching.....NEVER interupt a child's work (play). Sounds like these kids are ideal Montessori students.

IME, the kids like that are usually really deep thinkers too.

[Unregistered]

Thanks for responding,

Not sure that I really got my question answered, but maybe I also was not clear in my post.

Maybe I should have asked how do I not lose my patience? I feel that I am a very very patient person, but I am starting to feel frustration when I ask this kid to do something 3-4 even 5 times.

the example that I gave is just one of many. as for the hearing, I know that this child can hear me. I have asked the child. Can you hear me when I talk to you, do you hear my voice and he will say yes.

Everything we do is a constant repeat. I keep reading positive affirmations every morning, trying to get myself into a good mood and have even started reading them at lunch time too, because by then, this child has wore me out.

I guess I was hoping for more advice than scenarios, however, all of the post are much appreciated.

[Blackcat31]

Thanks for responding,

Not sure that I really got my question answered, but maybe I also was not clear in my post.

Maybe I should have asked how do I not lose my patience? I feel that I am a very very patient person, but I am starting to feel frustration when I ask this kid to do something 3-4 even 5 times.

the example that I gave is just one of many. as for the hearing, I know that this child can hear me. I have asked the child. Can you hear me when I talk to you, do you hear my voice and he will say yes.

Everything we do is a constant repeat. I keep reading positive affirmations every morning, trying to get myself into a good mood and have even started reading them at lunch time too, because by then, this child has wore me out.

I guess I was hoping for more advice than scenarios, however, all of the post are much appreciated.

Have you tried giving him some simple two step directions such as "go get that ball and put it in the toybox." and then saying "Billy, can you tell me what I just asked you to do?"

He may have some prcessing issues and not be sure what it is you want him to do. Try doing one and two step directions for things you already know he can do and see if he is not understanding you or at what point he flounders when trying to comply with what you said.

Ultimately, if he is having issues and you are becoming frustrated at his way of doing (and not doing )things, it is ok to tell the parents he may npt be a good fit for your program and term him.

I would try to work with the parents first though and see what they think the issue is and see if they can have the child evaluated by a specialist. he may have comprehansion issues that need to be addressed.

The fact that you are starting to lose your patience with the situation is a sign that you alone can not fix this and need to bring others (his parents and someone who specializes in whatever this kid has going on) into the picture. If it is put off too long without being addressed or fixed, the child will end up having other issues that are a result of him feeling like a failure for not having the ability to do as asked.

If it is simply a choice not to comply with what you are asking, then he needs ot be guided or taught how to make the right choices. If he is actually unable to comply then he needs more help than you can probably give him. Start with figuring out if he is choosing not to comply or if he is not capable of it.