How Long Before You Give in

[cheerfuldom]

If your rule is no jammies, you should have turned the family away from the door and sent them home to get dressed. OR just let the kiddo stay in the jammies all day. Figure out if you want to fight this battle or not.

[daycare]

I wouldn't have allowed him out of the room to change. I also wouldn't bother with it anyway. If he comes in jammies he leaves in jammies.

I don't dig power struggles on stuff that makes no difference anyway.

You are soooooo RIGHT.... Dang it......youre always right....

[nannyde]

It is not neglect to expect a 4 year old to dress themselves in the bathroom. My 3.5 yr old dd tries to pull that same thing on me. I make her go to her room, but if a provider told her to go to the bathroom and change I would not be upset unless she was in there for a super long time. Also it is appropriate to change in private for a 4 year old. Is the op supposed to undress and dress her fully in front of all of the other kids? Dd would be embarrassed- and she has thrown tantrums over getting dressed for way longer than 25 minutes... She knows she can come out whenever she wants- as long as she's dressed. Dcg probably pulled a fast one on mom this am and dcm is making it op's problem. Expecting her to dress herself is doing the dcm a favor and teaching her life skills.

It's not appropriate to give a four year old who doesn't mind the adult privacy to change clothes. What can be accomplished in the bathroom can be accomplished around the corner from an adult where the adult can see what the child is doing minute to minute.

Privacy for dressing is about five thousand "rights" down from the obligation to mind an adult. I could care less about the privacy. I care about a child doing as they are told.

I've cared for kids for 31 years and I've yet to see "embarrased" out of a three year old.

[Heidi]

It's not appropriate to give a four year old who doesn't mind the adult privacy to change clothes. What can be accomplished in the bathroom can be accomplished around the corner from an adult where the adult can see what the child is doing minute to minute.

Privacy for dressing is about five thousand "rights" down from the obligation to mind an adult. I could care less about the privacy. I care about a child doing as they are told.

I've cared for kids for 31 years and I've yet to see "embarrased" out of a three year old.

I agree completely!

I also do NOT beleive this is any kind of abuse! The child is making the choice.

Personally, I have told parents to bring a child who refuses to get dressed in their Jammies the next time. Then, I give them a "semi-private" spot, and VERY SWEETLY say..."oh, well, it's looks like you are not ready to play. Once you're dressed, come have fun with us. Let me know if you need any help".
If that child needs help, he would peek his head out and say "Miss x...I need help with my buttons", he wouldn't be screaming for 25 minutes. That's called a temper tantrum, and it doesn't fly around here either!

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

Agree.

The more I read here the more shocked I become at some providers ways of disciplining.

Letting a child scream for 25 minutes is abuse. It does not matter that the child was not dressed, wouldn't/didn't want to, parents wanted you to do it etc.
I get that you are frustrated about that situation but the way you are handlong it is not okay.
You are not teaching the child anything at all.

UMMM that is not abuse. It's called a temper tantrum.

And yes she is teaching the child something, That she is the only adult that wont give in to that kind of C$@P.

Standing in the bathroom and having a fit because he refuses to get dressed, well good for him. He is more than capable of getting dressed. He needs to get over himself, **** it up, get dressed and join the rest of the kids.

It's not even close to Abuse or neglect.

[itlw8]

I would have sent the child to the bathroom to change also.

If that was not happening the child could come out where I could supervise them getting dressed.

Not giving in to a fit is not neglect.Disipline is teaching the child to control themselves. The only thing I would have done different is I would not have allowed the child to throw that fit in the bathroom. I would have made them come out and sit in our calm down area . I would not dress the child.

A four year old can dress their self or calmly ask for help if a shirt is to tight and gets stuck. Even my special needs 4 yr olds can dress themselves.

[Blackcat31]

I also do NOT beleive this is any kind of abuse! The child is making the choice.

Personally, I have told parents to bring a child who refuses to get dressed in their Jammies the next time. Then, I give them a "semi-private" spot, and VERY SWEETLY say..."oh, well, it's looks like you are not ready to play. Once you're dressed, come have fun with us. Let me know if you need any help". If that child needs help, he would peek his head out and say "Miss x...I need help with my buttons", he wouldn't be screaming for 25 minutes. That's called a temper tantrum, and it doesn't fly around here either!

THIS!! For me, I couldn't care less if they are dressed or in PJ's as long as whatever they are dressed in is weathr appropriate and covers the necessary things.

I handle things like this just as bbo said, "Oh, looks like you aren't ready to play, paint, go outside, sit down, join circle, etc etc. Your clothes are in you bag. When you are ready to get dressed and join us, let me know."

Also as Nan said, the BIGGER issue is the child disobeying the parent and/or the instructions. I don't care if you wear a Halloween costume to daycare, just listen and follow directions when told.

I understand that some providers require the child to be dressed and ready for the day, but really can I ask why? What can't or can a child do or not do that is dependent on the clothing they wear?

I wear yoga pants and a T-shirt to bed. In other threads about what we wear, there is a whole lot of providers who wear sweats, yoga pants and t-shirts so aren't you technically wearing PJ's and not really dressed and ready for the day?

[Kim]

I wouldn't call the parents to pick up if you didn't enforce the policy at drop off. I would leave the kid in jammies and remind at pick up that the child needs to be prepared for the day before arriving. I also wouldn't allow the child to participate in outside play because he/she isn't dressed appropriately for it.

I wouldn't fight that fight- my rule is that you come prepared for the day dressed. Anyone that comes in jammies then they stay in jammies for the day. The rule applies to all children once they start walking. Infants are welcome to stay cozy all day It's too hard for me to squeeze time into my busy morning to dress 6 children.

So how did it go- is the child dressed or in jammies still?

[itlw8]

I have child that was horrible for mom to get dressed. She now has him sleep in the clothes he will wear in the morning except for the shoes. DCD thought is was horrible until he saw ho much smoother the morning went. LOL

[daycare]

BTW my bathroom is right where I can turn my head and look in at any time...

[SunshineMama]

It's not appropriate to give a four year old who doesn't mind the adult privacy to change clothes. What can be accomplished in the bathroom can be accomplished around the corner from an adult where the adult can see what the child is doing minute to minute.

Privacy for dressing is about five thousand "rights" down from the obligation to mind an adult. I could care less about the privacy. I care about a child doing as they are told.

I've cared for kids for 31 years and I've yet to see "embarrased" out of a three year old.

I suppose I partially agree for some kids, however I have taught my daughter that she needs to keep her body parts private (without making her feel that her body is something to be ashamed of). I have taught her that it is inappropriate to be undressed or partially nude in front of other people, even daycare kids, but if she NEEDS help she will call me for assistance. I do not know if the emotion would be embarassment- per se, but she does understand privacy (especially around men), and she will say that she needs to dress in private. She would be uncomfortable dressing in front of other kids because I have taught her that it is inappropriate, and she would feel that she is doing something wrong. Had I not taught her that maybe she wouldn't care, but at least in my experience for my child, dressing in front of others is not an option. (She is an old 3.5 though- very atypical for her age)

[Lucy]

Kid comes in jammies, kid goes home in jammies. If we go to the park, kid goes to park in jammies. I won't do it anymore. BTDT.

[daycare]

Kid comes in jammies, kid goes home in jammies. If we go to the park, kid goes to park in jammies. I won't do it anymore. BTDT.

thats what happening today.... I learned my lesson.... I don't battle children and honestly did not think this morning that having the child at age 4 change their own clothes was going to come down to this....

There won't be a next time that this happens, because as I should have done from the very beginning is send the kid and DCD packing this am at drop off....

I don't do favors....they all know that, but for some reason everyone has seem to forgotten all of my rules.... Time to remind them who is in charge of this business here..... LOL

[Blackcat31]

I understand that some providers require the child to be dressed and ready for the day, but really can I ask why? What can't or can a child do or not do that is dependent on the clothing they wear?

I wear yoga pants and a T-shirt to bed. In other threads about what we wear, there is a whole lot of providers who wear sweats, yoga pants and t-shirts so aren't you technically wearing PJ's and not really dressed and ready for the day?

[MsMe]

THIS!! For me, I couldn't care less if they are dressed or in PJ's as long as whatever they are dressed in is weathr appropriate and covers the necessary things.

I handle things like this just as bbo said, "Oh, looks like you aren't ready to play, paint, go outside, sit down, join circle, etc etc. Your clothes are in you bag. When you are ready to get dressed and join us, let me know."

Also as Nan said, the BIGGER issue is the child disobeying the parent and/or the instructions. I don't care if you wear a Halloween costume to daycare, just listen and follow directions when told.

I understand that some providers require the child to be dressed and ready for the day, but really can I ask why? What can't or can a child do or not do that is dependent on the clothing they wear?

I wear yoga pants and a T-shirt to bed. In other threads about what we wear, there is a whole lot of providers who wear sweats, yoga pants and t-shirts so aren't you technically wearing PJ's and not really dressed and ready for the day?

I have no problem with a kid who comes in PJ's....they could come in them every.singe.day if they wanted (just happens it has only happened 2-3 times)

I just don't change clothes.


...maybe I don't care bc I wear yoga pants and a hoodie everyday