Almost 2 yr old Behavior

[kidsrfun]

I'm new here and have a question about a 23 mo olds behavior. She has been with me since she was 3 mo old and was an awesome baby and she is a great little girl, she's funny and very out going, but over the last few months she has been mean to an 17 mo old dcg I have. She does it some to the others but not very much. It started more when I started the 17 mo old 3 mo ago. I don't know if it's because she knows she's younger than her, if it's jealousy or what. But she can be very mean to her. She will hit her, push her over, she'll run into her.
I've tried having her help me with her, like if she needs help with something I'll say, oh so and so needs help, she needs a friend to help her, can you help her, and she will. I don't know what else to try to hlep her through this. I have to watch her like a hawk. I've redirected, have firmly told her hitting isn't nice, make her apologize, I've done time outs and it just doesn't seem to be working. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to help with this?

[Blackcat31]

Welcome to the forum!

I upgraded your status so you can post freely now.

[cheerfuldom]

I'm new here and have a question about a 23 mo olds behavior. She has been with me since she was 3 mo old and was an awesome baby and she is a great little girl, she's funny and very out going, but over the last few months she has been mean to an 17 mo old dcg I have. She does it some to the others but not very much. It started more when I started the 17 mo old 3 mo ago. I don't know if it's because she knows she's younger than her, if it's jealousy or what. But she can be very mean to her. She will hit her, push her over, she'll run into her.
I've tried having her help me with her, like if she needs help with something I'll say, oh so and so needs help, she needs a friend to help her, can you help her, and she will. I don't know what else to try to hlep her through this. I have to watch her like a hawk. I've redirected, have firmly told her hitting isn't nice, make her apologize, I've done time outs and it just doesn't seem to be working. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to help with this?

Start separating her. Playing with others is a privilege she can earn by appropriate behavior. Apologizing is a complete waste of time for a one year old IMO and I dont let any of the kids care for the other ones because then they feel that they are in charge of the other one. Create a space for her to play in and there she goes all the time and starts to earn back group play privileges. Its going to take a lot of work but in the end, will be much more clear than timeouts. If you can't do this, you should probably let her go before she really hurts someone. It just takes one push for a little one to fall an awkward way and break a leg or get a concussion. Its very dangerous to let a situation continue when you know someone could get hurt.

[Ariana]

This was my DD and a little 18 month old I started a few months ago. My DD who is 2"hated" her and I didn't really blame her. She took her toys, couldn't talk or communicate and was hogging most of the attention because I had to watch her pretty closely. She had very little social skills when she began. She was part-time so it took from October until now for things to get better. Her language improved and she was able to follow social rules a lot better.

It's still not perfect but they're getting along better every day. I think it just takes time and patience.

[kidsrfun]

Start separating her. Playing with others is a privilege she can earn by appropriate behavior. Apologizing is a complete waste of time for a one year old IMO and I dont let any of the kids care for the other ones because then they feel that they are in charge of the other one. Create a space for her to play in and there she goes all the time and starts to earn back group play privileges. Its going to take a lot of work but in the end, will be much more clear than timeouts. If you can't do this, you should probably let her go before she really hurts someone. It just takes one push for a little one to fall an awkward way and break a leg or get a concussion. Its very dangerous to let a situation continue when you know someone could get hurt.

Thanks, I wouldn't say I'm letting her "care" for her, I just let her help her like the other day she was having difficulty opening one of the toys and was asking for help so I said oh so and so can you go help so and so open the toy? and when she did I said that was a nice friend.
I agree she should be seperated some how I just don't really have a way of sectioning an area off.

Ariana, what kind of things did you do to help it get to where you're at now?
It would be very hard to let go a child I've had since birth.