Sharing Help

[Unregistered]

Hello,
I'm a registered user but have quick question and would appreciate some help. I have a dcg who is almost 3 yrs old. I know sharing at this age is hard but all of sudden in the past week she has become very controlling of the toys and calling everything "Mine", will not share and when asked to share she crys, she grabs things out of kids hands when she wants it and then cries when I ask her nicely to give it back (which she won't). I've noticed that when I ask her to help clean up the toys or do other small tasks she ignores me and refuses to help. I'm not sure what to do. I've asked her nicely, try talking to her about sharing (small, short, understandable words), made a big deal about other kids sharing, and finally used time out today when she grabbed a toy and demanded that "Give it to me", "I want it" and reached out and grabbed it.

If you have any suggestions I would really appreciate it. Thanks!

[nannyde]

All the toys in the house belong to me. From the time they can say "mine" I tell them NO these are MY toys. When they play with the toys incorrectly I say "don't throw MY toys". By the time they are two they have heard me tell them a hundred times that the toys are MY toys.

She's just doing an act of aggression. It's not about the toys... it's about who the boss is. Stop being nice about it and tell her NO and to get to cleanin when you tell her to clean. Ask nicely once... maybe twice for the same infraction ... If that doesn't work then get stern every time she repeats it. If she is swiping toys wednesday and you have told her nicely not to do it once or twice... by thursday go straight to strict.

If she refuses to clean toys then ALL the toys are cleaned by her until she understands that she must. If she persists then it's time to start dumping out bins and have her practice "clean up" each day... every day... till she gets "clean up". Devote whatever time resources you have to get her to understand that cleaning up her share is better than spending her days cleaning up it all... plus whatever you add.

A couple of times of "clean the whole room" will get her to gladly just do her share.

[sharlan]

I agree, all toys are MINE. I am sharing MY toys with YOU. YOU need to share them with the others.

My #1 fault as a provider is making the kids routinely pick up the toys. I am working on that though. It's really a hard habit for me to break. When I do have the kids clean up, I sit in a chair and tell them, Susie, pick up all the blocks. Johnny, pick up all the cars, etc.

[My3cents]

I agree, all toys are MINE. I am sharing MY toys with YOU. YOU need to share them with the others.

My #1 fault as a provider is making the kids routinely pick up the toys. I am working on that though. It's really a hard habit for me to break. When I do have the kids clean up, I sit in a chair and tell them, Susie, pick up all the blocks. Johnny, pick up all the cars, etc.

I am sorry, am I missing something here? Why is it your fault that you have the kids routinely pick up the toys?

Nan- When this happens that kids won't help pick up.......what do you do with the children that have and are waiting to move on? I don't have an assistant- Let me try to be clearer. When the one child refuses to pick up, what do you do with the others that have helped. Transitioning into lunch for example. Go make lunch, serve it and then go back to the child that is refusing and make him pick them up? Can you step by step this out for me a little more- sorry having a moment of duh

[Unregistered]

WOW!! So, when she just claimed them as hers I said "No, they are my toys and you need to clean up" SHE DID IT!! She said "Your Toys" and I said "Yes, they are My toys".

I guess I made a big mistake but I've always called the toys "everybody's" toys.

THANK YOU!!!!!