Child Care, Older Kids And Sleepovers - Am I Alone?

[AfterSchoolMom]

Do those of you who are full time providers allow your kids to have friends come and sleep over on the weekends?

I worked all day, then watched a friend's children for a couple of hours as a favor (they were here an hour after I'm usually finished), and now my oldest wants to have a friend come over and spend the night. I am 4 mos. pregnant and completely exhausted, and all day long I have been looking forward to going to bed early and sleeping in late, neither of which I'll get to do if the sleepover happens.

Is it selfish of me to want to say no? It may just be hormones talking ( ), but I'm with children all day, every day, and I have ZERO desire to spend time with "extra" children when I'm not working. Am I alone there?

[momma2girls]

Do those of you who are full time providers allow your kids to have friends come and sleep over on the weekends?

I worked all day, then watched a friend's children for a couple of hours as a favor (they were here an hour after I'm usually finished), and now my oldest wants to have a friend come over and spend the night. I am 4 mos. pregnant and completely exhausted, and all day long I have been looking forward to going to bed early and sleeping in late, neither of which I'll get to do if the sleepover happens.

Is it selfish of me to want to say no? It may just be hormones talking ( ), but I'm with children all day, every day, and I have ZERO desire to spend time with "extra" children when I'm not working. Am I alone there?

I feel pretty much the same way. My 10 yr. old does have sleep overs, but not very often, and she has to earn them. I think the majority of the reasoning behind it, I do daycare for 9 1/2 hrs. a day x 5 days per week- on the weekends, I like to relax, and not have more children here, than my own!!

[AfterSchoolMom]

I feel pretty much the same way. My 10 yr. old does have sleep overs, but not very often, and she has to earn them. I think the majority of the reasoning behind it, I do daycare for 9 1/2 hrs. a day x 5 days per week- on the weekends, I like to relax, and not have more children here, than my own!!

Yes! I had kids here for ten hours today. I'm not in the mood to be responsible for someone else's child for the whole rest of the night and part of the day tomorrow, too. Ugh.

[momma2girls]

Yes! I had kids here for ten hours today. I'm not in the mood to be responsible for someone else's child for the whole rest of the night and part of the day tomorrow, too. Ugh.

I hear ya sister!!!

[AmyLeigh]

Oh I know what you mean. My 8 yo has been wanting her bff come for a sleepover almost every weekend for a couple of months now. She's the older sister to one of my dcb's, and I know he will want to come too. I love both of the kids, but there are some weekends I don't even want my kiddos here! ::

[sharlan]

IMHO, one has nothing to do with the other.

If you're not up to having a sleepover because your exhausted, that's one thing. But to deny your daughter a sleepover because of what you do for a living is wrong. Your children didn't ask for you to become a daycare provider, yet they reap the consequences (kids in the house all day long and what that comes with).

[cheerfuldom]

IMHO, one has nothing to do with the other.

If you're not up to having a sleepover because your exhausted, that's one thing. But to deny your daughter a sleepover because of what you do for a living is wrong. Your children didn't ask for you to become a daycare provider, yet they reap the consequences (kids in the house all day long and what that comes with).

Dont be too hard on her. There are plenty of exhausted parents out there from all occupations who are just not up to sleepovers on the weekend. Plus she is pregnant....give her a break!

There are always going to be "cons" in any profession....even in SAHMs....so if no sleepovers for awhile is the biggest issue with this kid then I would say, they got it pretty good. Maybe a short time would be a good compromise? have a friend come over for a movie and then leave at a decent hour?

[AfterSchoolMom]

Yes they do, and they also enjoy the benefits of what I do for a living - the fact that I'm here for them every day when they come home from school, and the fact that we can afford to take them to do fun things because of my added income - which we do, a lot. It's not my OWN children I object to.

[saved4always]

My daughter is 10 yo and I will usually let her have a sleepover with a friend on the weekend when she asks if we have nothing going on that it would interfere with. I try not to make decisions with my own kids based on what I am doing all day. I just would feel bad telling her that she could not have a friend over because I worked with other people's kids all day. And usually, it is easier for me if she does have a friend over. It is better than her coming to me saying she is bored all weekend. They are pretty self-sufficient at their age so I don't really have to be involved except to enforce bedtime. Her brothers are 17 and 19 years old so she has no one to play with if she doesn't have a friend.

[jen]

This is just my experience, please take it for what its worth.

My kids friends are ALWAYS welcome in our home. The older kids know where the pop and the chips are, and they know that there is always pizza or burgers in the freezer.

The younger kids take a little more effort on my part, but again they are welcome. I WANT to be the house where every kid goes to handg out. Why subject myself???

Because I know every one of my kids friends. I know what they are doing and where they are going because they are here.

My oldest is a Sr. in High School. This year for Valentines I got a handwritten note from "my boys"--the 5 or 6 basketball players who have been eating me out of house and home since Kindergarden--thanking me for being such a big part of their lives and thanking me for always "being there" for them. They even left me a carnation .

I understand how much effort it is, but its worth every second.

[sharlan]

Dont be too hard on her. There are plenty of exhausted parents out there from all occupations who are just not up to sleepovers on the weekend. Plus she is pregnant....give her a break!

There are always going to be "cons" in any profession....even in SAHMs....so if no sleepovers for awhile is the biggest issue with this kid then I would say, they got it pretty good. Maybe a short time would be a good compromise? have a friend come over for a movie and then leave at a decent hour?

I agree. I'm just saying don't use the "daycare" as an excuse.

[sharlan]

My daughter is 10 yo and I will usually let her have a sleepover with a friend on the weekend when she asks if we have nothing going on that it would interfere with. I try not to make decisions with my own kids based on what I am doing all day. I just would feel bad telling her that she could not have a friend over because I worked with other people's kids all day. And usually, it is easier for me if she does have a friend over. It is better than her coming to me saying she is bored all weekend. They are pretty self-sufficient at their age so I don't really have to be involved except to enforce bedtime. Her brothers are 17 and 19 years old so she has no one to play with if she doesn't have a friend.

This is what I was saying.

[saved4always]

This is just my experience, please take it for what its worth.

My kids friends are ALWAYS welcome in our home. The older kids know where the pop and the chips are, and they know that there is always pizza or burgers in the freezer.

The younger kids take a little more effort on my part, but again they are welcome. I WANT to be the house where every kid goes to handg out. Why subject myself???

Because I know every one of my kids friends. I know what they are doing and where they are going because they are here.

My oldest is a Sr. in High School. This year for Valentines I got a handwritten note from "my boys"--the 5 or 6 basketball players who have been eating me out of house and home since Kindergarden--thanking me for being such a big part of their lives and thanking me for always "being there" for them. They even left me a carnation .

I understand how much effort it is, but its worth every second.

That is so sweet! lovethis I totally agree with you that I want to be the house where my kids and their friends hang out. That way, I know who they are with and what they are doing.

[AfterSchoolMom]

This is just my experience, please take it for what its worth.

My kids friends are ALWAYS welcome in our home. The older kids know where the pop and the chips are, and they know that there is always pizza or burgers in the freezer.

The younger kids take a little more effort on my part, but again they are welcome. I WANT to be the house where every kid goes to handg out. Why subject myself???

Because I know every one of my kids friends. I know what they are doing and where they are going because they are here.

My oldest is a Sr. in High School. This year for Valentines I got a handwritten note from "my boys"--the 5 or 6 basketball players who have been eating me out of house and home since Kindergarden--thanking me for being such a big part of their lives and thanking me for always "being there" for them. They even left me a carnation .

I understand how much effort it is, but its worth every second.

That's a good point, and I didn't think of it that way, but you're absolutely right.

I had already told the child that he could come stay when I posted this, so don't think I'm trying to be a big meanie. I just wondered if I was alone in my feelings.

[jen]

That's a good point, and I didn't think of it that way, but you're absolutely right.

I had already told the child that he could come stay when I posted this, so don't think I'm trying to be a big meanie. I just wondered if I was alone in my feelings.

Nope, not alone. We have ALL had those feelings...and it is really tough when your pregnant. Try to have something simple that they can do on their own...make bracelets or watch a movie...easy snacks. Then feel free to put your feet up and relax. Hopefully they will entertain themselves and your night will be an easy one!

I definitely didn't think you were a big meanie!