Child Abuse Recognition... Logged Out

[Unregistered]

Can anyone please tell me how to recognize whether or not a child is being abused at home, or if they are just playing too hard? What are the signs? What should I be looking for?

I posted earlier about would you allow parents... and have not had a reply to my last post about the update on what happened during the "play-date" - I dont think anyone really had the chance to read through everything for the update. Anyway, I am stuck with a sick feeling that something is not right but I have not seen the kids on a regular basis so I just cant tell.

Have any of you had to make the determination before?

Please read my other post about the update on the play date for the background and let me know what you would do if you were me.

[Blackcat31]

As a mandated reporter, you aren't suppose to determine anything. You simply report if you suspect ANYTHING.

If you are not sure, then you report. It isn't your job or your place to determine anything. It is only your job to report.

Regardless of any personal feelings you have or don't have about social services and/or the family court system.

If you suspect or are unsure of injuries or situations, you report. Licensed or not, you are still obligated to report ANY and ALL situations where they could be abuse going on.

[DCBlessings27]

I agree with Blackcat. It's your responsibility to report it if you suspect anything. It's hard because the parents will likely know who reported it, but you have to do it.

When I taught, I had a girl in an after school tutoring thing. She said her dad had hit her. I went to the principal and she reported it. The girl of course knew I was the one and was mad that I had turned it in. My principal told me next time I had to do it without her though--that I was the one responsible. I will never hesitate again to report anything.

[Unregistered]

As a mandated reporter, you aren't suppose to determine anything. You simply report if you suspect ANYTHING.

If you are not sure, then you report. It isn't your job or your place to determine anything. It is only your job to report.

Regardless of any personal feelings you have or don't have about social services and/or the family court system.

If you suspect or are unsure of injuries or situations, you report. Licensed or not, you are still obligated to report ANY and ALL situations where they could be abuse going on.

I agree. I guess I just also want to know where to draw the line. For example, child 1 comes with scratch on her face. Mom says it is from the cat. Child 2 comes with a black eye, dad says its from falling and a bump, and the blood just settled.

At what point is it abuse versus not, is where I am going with this question. I do agree with you that if you suspect anything to call- but do you call when mom brings child 1 with a scratch from the cat?

In the situation I am in now, I have a gut feeling that I am going with and I am going to call CPS. I have already spoken with one of my family members, who is a county sheriff and he has pointed me in the next direction.

Maybe my question should be, When wouldn't you call CPS if a dck comes with a physical injury from home. If I called for every bump or scratch I would have no clients and it would ruin a lot of good family's lives. Do you call for every physica incident outside of the daycare or just the serious ones? And what is the definition of serious.

[Blackcat31]

I agree. I guess I just also want to know where to draw the line. For example, child 1 comes with scratch on her face. Mom says it is from the cat. Child 2 comes with a black eye, dad says its from falling and a bump, and the blood just settled.

At what point is it abuse versus not, is where I am going with this question. I do agree with you that if you suspect anything to call- but do you call when mom brings child 1 with a scratch from the cat?

In the situation I am in now, I have a gut feeling that I am going with and I am going to call CPS. I have already spoken with one of my family members, who is a county sheriff and he has pointed me in the next direction.

Maybe my question should be, When wouldn't you call CPS if a dck comes with a physical injury from home. If I called for every bump or scratch I would have no clients and it would ruin a lot of good family's lives. Do you call for every physica incident outside of the daycare or just the serious ones? And what is the definition of serious.

The reason I said that you HAVE to call is because in your other thread, you said you already suspected that dad maybe "covering". Your update pretty much said everything but the words, "I think the kids are being abused" so thus my response.

You implied in the other thread that you think his actions about wanting the weird palydate were somehow related to him setting up the scenario of being the perfect dad and all.

You also stated that BOTH kids had black eyes and the extent of the injuries didn't sit well with you. THAT is your answer....you call when things just don't seem right or sit well.

You don't call for cat scratches. There is a HUGE difference between cat scratches or even little scratches and big black eyes and connected odd or strange behavior.

Als as a formerly abused child, you should definitley be aware of any hinky feelings and things that seem off as you have been in that situation first hand....kwim?

Glad you called. Children count on adults to be their voice. I am VERY open with my DCF's and I tell them during the interview that if I ever suspect abuse or feel the situation is just a bit off I AM going to call CPS. I tell them it is not somehting personal but is somehting I am required by law to do and I absolutely will each and every time I feel it is necessary.

[Unregistered]

The reason I said that you HAVE to call is because in your other thread, you said you already suspected that dad maybe "covering". Your update pretty much said everything but the words, "I think the kids are being abused" so thus my response.

You implied in the other thread that you think his actions about wanting the weird palydate were somehow related to him setting up the scenario of being the perfect dad and all.

You also stated that BOTH kids had black eyes and the extent of the injuries didn't sit well with you. THAT is your answer....you call when things just don't seem right or sit well.

You don't call for cat scratches. There is a HUGE difference between cat scratches or even little scratches and big black eyes and connected odd or strange behavior.

Als as a formerly abused child, you should definitley be aware of any hinky feelings and things that seem off as you have been in that situation first hand....kwim?

Glad you called. Children count on adults to be their voice. I am VERY open with my DCF's and I tell them during the interview that if I ever suspect abuse or feel the situation is just a bit off I AM going to call CPS. I tell them it is not somehting personal but is somehting I am required by law to do and I absolutely will each and every time I feel it is necessary.

You are so right! And that's why I called and felt that things were not right. Nothing about the entire situation added up to me or made any sense at all, and then the kids show up, BOTH with black eyes and scratches!?! I hate this entire situation- for those little children.... for me... all of it is just plain awful

[JenNJ]

I know the difference between childrens self induced injuries and those that aren't. Kids who are abused have odd markings or injuries with crazy stories. A bump on the head of a new walker is typical. Bumps all over the head of a 3+ year old, not normal. Bruised knead are typical, bruised upper arms and thighs aren't. Skinned elbows and hands are normal. Blistered feet and hands aren't.

Our job is to care for the kids. Part of that is paying attention to details. Look kids over when changing diapers and clothes. Make notes of unusual marks or comments from the kids.

[cheerfuldom]

I feel bad for you OP. Hopefully, this really are just kids being kids and nothing further is going on. I do think you should report if you aren't sure (as you did) but also, be ready to give parents the benefit of the doubt. Kids really do get into crazy situations and I hope that that is the case here.

[MrsB]

My licensor said one time in a meeting about child abuse.

Its not the physical markings that make you suspect child abuse, its the wierd things and uneasy feelings that accompany the physical markings that make you suspect child abuse.

[Ariana]

My licensor said one time in a meeting about child abuse.

Its not the physical markings that make you suspect child abuse, its the wierd things and uneasy feelings that accompany the physical markings that make you suspect child abuse.

Very much this. It's not just the physical bruising/scrapes but the odd behavior and explanations that go with it. After reading your other post it seems like the dad came to you to cover his tracks and explain everything to you and monitor the children. It's so odd to request a "playdate" with a provider they are already with. Perhaps they left their old provider becasue she began to question them too much?

[Unregistered]

Very much this. It's not just the physical bruising/scrapes but the odd behavior and explanations that go with it. After reading your other post it seems like the dad came to you to cover his tracks and explain everything to you and monitor the children. It's so odd to request a "playdate" with a provider they are already with. Perhaps they left their old provider becasue she began to question them too much?

That possibility struck my mind as well. I just am so sad for those children. I have been thinking about it all night and I am still very disturbed. I mean he admitted to putting them in a ice cold shower to stop them from playing in their pants. (Which is a normal thing for children under 3 to do). I think I remember some lady on dr. Phil who put her kids in an ice cold shower and made them eat hot sauce, and she got in pretty big trouble. When daycare is over I like to keep it out of my mind but I am having a lot of trouble separating myself from my work this evening