Help Me Help My Brother - Please

[Breezy]

Background Info:

Mom and dad live in an apartment in a suburb very near Minneapolis. My mom is a caretaker and dad works for the property manager. They get their rent free for all that my mom does (she is basically the assistant to the assistant manager- my uncle is the property manager). The apartment complex is not in a good area (it used to be years ago) and I would like to compare it to North Mpls but it is not THAT bad but getting there (those that are from MN know what I mean).

My mom and dad share a room with my brother (8) and my sister has her own room until she leaves for college in the fall (18).

My brother is the "weird" one I guess you could say. He is VERY into school. Has a lot of interests that he researchs to no end (currently WW2). I don't think this is weird but I can see where the kids he interacts with would.

Anyway......

He is getting beat up. He tries to play it off like its ok and that he doesn't mind but its because he doesn't want anyone to get into trouble. Yesterday he came home from school with a huge red mark all over his face. Some kid on the bus punched him in the face for getting too close. My brother begged my mom to not call the principal and she hasn't yet.

When I was in MN she got a call from the principal saying that he was involved in an altercation on the bus. I guess someone targeted him again and punched him in the nose. The kids parents had to come in to the school- the child lives in the same complex as my brother.

He has been pushed up against walls and choked at the complex, he has been choked on the playground more than once just in the past school year.

I took him out to dinner on Valentines Day when I was in town and I asked if he likes school and he said no he wishes he could stay home with my mom all the time. He is scared of the "cool" kids at school that walk around with their body guards. This is ELEMENTARY school!

He is very good in school and gets straight As. He is reading at a very high level. Loves math.

My mom has thought about open enrolling him to Maple Grove elementary school or Osseo area schools. My sister went to Osseo and I went to Maple Grove.

WWYD? Is this just typical kids being kids or is this something serious?

[sharlan]

No, this is not typical kid stuff. Your brother is being terrorized and the school needs to do something about it. The day may come when your brother tires of it and does something to himself to end it.

Personally, I would transfer him out of that school ASAP.

[Heidi]

Your brother sounds like an intellectually gifted little boy. Of course, he has to be a geek! As the mother of 4 geeks (and somewhat of one myself), I can totally relate.

Any chance your mom would let me adopt him?

If your mom has even the slightest ability, she should consder home-schooling for the rest of the year, and then go to another school via open enrollment. I don't know how homeschooling laws are in MN compared to WI, but here you just have to file a paper with DPI, and you can do that online. Literally, she wouldn't have to send him back on Monday! I would not for ONE SECOND tolerate my child being treated like that, and honestly, the school will probably give you a lot of smoke-and-mirrors, and your brother's self-esteem will continue to plummet as they try to figure out solutions.

As for homeschooling, your brother sounds like he would be an excellent candidate. He sounds highly motivated to learn, and your mom could let him take the lead. He does not need to have a formal "curriculum" for the rest of this year.

For next school year, they could either continue this, or check into the open enrollment. Are there any charter schools he could attend specifically for kids with special interests? Another option in WI is virtual schools.

Good luck! If you need any help finding HS resources, I would be happy to help. Just PM me....

[DCBlessings27]

Bullying

I'd say that your brother is definitely being bullied. Ks is getting strict about anti-bullying. I don't think they would put up with it here.

I don't know why the teachers or bus driver haven't caught the behavior that is hurting your brother.

As a mom, I would pull him for a different school district today.

[Heidi]

Here's a start on the charter schools...

http://www.mncharterschools.org/directories/index.php?intDirectoriesCatID=1

The other thing I thought of is that some private schools offer scholarships. If there is a private school for gifted children around, def. call them about that possibility.

[Michael]

This upsets me to no end. My son was the same way and we ended up home schooling. If you PM me the specifics on the school, city, names I would take the time to call your local school board and police. This should not be tollerated at all. The school and police have an obligation to protect. They need to be notified ASAP or this will only escalate.

[Breezy]

Thank you so much for your responses. She kept him home with her today because she has had ENOUGH.

As far as Home schooling I am not sure if she could HS him as she has a very hectic schedule despite being home all day. She cleans the buildings, maintains them, and then handles all delinquent rent accounts. She does more work than everyone combined. At the end of the month she has multiple apartments to turn over. BUT it is something to look into and think about even if it is just for the rest of the school year. I will mention it to her today and get some info to back it up. He is highly gifted (as were both my sister and I in school) and I feel like his potential is being held back IYKWIM?

Private school may be an option- I am not sure what they have in the area. I went to private school in 2nd grade (catholic school) I will look into that as well.

THANK YOU for confirming what I already knew that this is not normal.

[sharlan]

Virtual school may be an option as someone else said. Here, they even provide the computers.

[MrsB]

Mom needs to call the school! REGARDLESS of what your brother wants. I am saying this for your brothers safety. He is 8! It is your moms responsbility to make decisions regarding his safety. He should get no say! I have heard of so many stories where kids begged their parents not to do something and in the end the parents ended up feeling guilty for not taking it seriously and reporting it. If you mom doesnt get the response she needs from the school, go to the school administrators, to the schoolboard, blast it all over a social website. Whatever it takes.

Most school districts have Bullying Protocol, maybe find out what it is in your area.

My son has been diagnosed with PDD-NOS and ADHD but back in my day, he would have been the "geek" that is a tad bit socially awekward. I got him a lifeskills coach and he has really helped him with his self esteem and empowering himself against bully type behavior.

I wish you the best of luck. What an awesome sister you are for caring so much!

There's lots of websites out there too.

try

http://www.stopbullying.gov/

[GretasLittleFriends]

Your poor brother. It sounds like he is strong-willed and big hearted in order to put up with such abuse and not wanting the other boys to get in trouble. I am sure he fears further retaliation. No child should have to live like this.

Even though I'm in MN, I don't have much advice for you. My nephew and his family live in Champlin and he was getting bullied, his mom transferred him to a magnet school, I believe in Brooklyn Center (or Brooklyn Park), but am not sure.

I read a very sad story today http://www.kptv.com/story/17117683/f...nuous-bullying. Please keep (as close as you can) a close eye on your brother.

[Heidi]

Thank you so much for your responses. She kept him home with her today because she has had ENOUGH.

As far as Home schooling I am not sure if she could HS him as she has a very hectic schedule despite being home all day. She cleans the buildings, maintains them, and then handles all delinquent rent accounts. She does more work than everyone combined. At the end of the month she has multiple apartments to turn over. BUT it is something to look into and think about even if it is just for the rest of the school year. I will mention it to her today and get some info to back it up. He is highly gifted (as were both my sister and I in school) and I feel like his potential is being held back IYKWIM?

Private school may be an option- I am not sure what they have in the area. I went to private school in 2nd grade (catholic school) I will look into that as well.

THANK YOU for confirming what I already knew that this is not normal.

Breezy-follow that link to the Charter Schools. I just spent a few minutes on there, and I WISH we had those schools here! There is sure to be one right up your brother's alley. It won't help him this year, but for next. Charter schools are PUBLIC schools, so he can go there under open enrollment...free!

[Breezy]

I am looking at the Charter link right now. And the HSing one. And talking to my mom. It makes me want to move home SO badly. If I lived there I know things would be different. I could help transport him to a different school, I could even have him at my home for HSing if virtual if my mom needed to do things around the complex or go to the office, etc. I would do anything for my brother- he deserves the world. And I have considered multiple times just moving home with my DS to help him and my mom and dad. Obviously that would ruin my marriage but I just wish I could do more.

[Breezy]

She says that she has made the decision so far that if they don't get to move to a different complex before next school year she is going to put him in a different school. I am giving her the info about HSing at least for the rest of the year.

Her uncle died today though so I don't know if her mind is in the right place to be having this discussion.

[sharlan]

Can you take your brother in for the rest of the school year?

[Michael]

Virtual school may be an option as someone else said. Here, they even provide the computers.

Yes, this is what I was going to suggest. My son also took courses online. He loves to learn and loves school. A gifted child can get a lot achieved in this area. He will he the better for it. I would be willing to get my son in touch with your brother. They sound very similar. He uses Jonathan.com as his site.

We are also WWII buffs and I have a lot of WWII medals, gear and even Hitler's picture of Eva Braun from his Eagles Nest retreat desk. Here is also an article we did with George E. Elliott Jr. who was the radar operator that first viewed the Japanese Zeros approaching Pearl Harbor at Kahuku Point, Oahu. http://pearl-harbor.com/georgeelliott/