Parents Are Punishing During PT

[daycare]

So this morning I found out that one of my DCK that is really struggling with her PT is being punished at home when she poops or pees in her pull up.

She has also been forced at times to change her own pull up when she went it it. Both number 1 and 2.

This girl is 4 and no where near PTed and now I know why.

All of us providers say what happens at home happens at home and vice versa, but how can I get through to the parents that this is only halting the process and not helping it in anyway?

This child uses it as a control thing. The only thing that we can't control, so they do it on purpose. I really think that if I can get the parents to jump on board with at PT plan that is nothing more than a lot of positive reinforcement, we will have a PT little girl in no time flat....

One of the issues that have come up when I have tried to give positive reinforcement when she does go in the potty is that all of the other kids that are all ready PT will go in and go potty and come out looking for positive reinforcement or a sticker....

Any advice on how to individualize a plan that won't affect the other children in my care. I am not going to start rewarding any child, physically or verbally when they are already PT... BUt I have to turn around the way that this little girl is getting attention when it comes to toilet time. BOth here and at home.

[Michelle]

So this morning I found out that one of my DCK that is really struggling with her PT is being punished at home when she poops or pees in her pull up.

She has also been forced at times to change her own pull up when she went it it. Both number 1 and 2.

This girl is 4 and no where near PTed and now I know why.

All of us providers say what happens at home happens at home and vice versa, but how can I get through to the parents that this is only halting the process and not helping it in anyway?

This child uses it as a control thing. The only thing that we can't control, so they do it on purpose. I really think that if I can get the parents to jump on board with at PT plan that is nothing more than a lot of positive reinforcement, we will have a PT little girl in no time flat....

One of the issues that have come up when I have tried to give positive reinforcement when she does go in the potty is that all of the other kids that are all ready PT will go in and go potty and come out looking for positive reinforcement or a sticker....

Any advice on how to individualize a plan that won't affect the other children in my care. I am not going to start rewarding any child, physically or verbally when they are already PT... BUt I have to turn around the way that this little girl is getting attention when it comes to toilet time. BOth here and at home.

get a pt chart for her... you can just google free potty training chart and they have all the characters...Dora, Winnie the Pooh..etc. and get some stickers...that's sad what the parents are doing

[countrymom]

get rid of the pull up. I have a girl like this too. Pull ups are glorified diapers, I'm sorry but whats the difference between the two. If she continues to do her business in the pull up then she needs to be in diapers. I don't do rewarding for potty training. And if the parents don't want to do it then there is nothing you can do.

[AnythingsPossible]

There is no reason at 4 that she shouldn't be changing her own pull up if she chooses to go to the bathroom in it. It is a natural consequence. If they are doing it in a hateful and cruel way, yes, that is wrong, however if she goes to the bathroom in her pants and they tell her she is old enough to change them herself, I don't see a problem with that.
At 4, she is more then old enough to be using the bathroom. If she is the one who has to clean up the mess afterwards, maybe she will begin to make the choice to use the restroom.
I would help her after she has made an effort at getting herself cleaned up. Naturally, she may not get herself compeltly cleaned up, and help would be needed, but if she takes responsiblity for it, her behavior may change.

[CheekyChick]

I find it impossible not to reward/praise the already potty trained when someone new is getting potty trained. How can I give Jane and sticker and not Josh when they both did the very same thing? They are too young to understand that you've been potty trained longer, so I no longer think it's a big deal. I DO think it's a big deal and don't mind giving out stickers. Once the new one is potty trained, and we no longer have to throw a party every time he/she goes potty, they all seem to forget about the stickers until the NEXT new one gets on the potty training train.

[Meyou]

I have no problem with her changing her own pullup either. She's 4 and perfectly capable. I get all my potty learners to change themselves after accidents. I supervise and assist with #2 but they do almost all of it alone. I agree it shouldn't be done in a mean way. I just act like this is the way it is because this is the way it is. If you pee in your pants, you need new pants. No other motivation or reason is needed IMO.